So hey there to all of you who liked my story, 'Dear FanFiction Writers'! This is a spin-off to that fic. In this story, Fred and George Weasley will interview all those characters who have been 'exploited' by us FanFiction authors. Each chapter will be dedicated to one character.
Enjoy!
The stage is dark and the audience is anticipating for the show to start. Suddenly, the lights turn on and the audience sees their favourite people – Fred and George Weasley. Sorry ... Gred and Forge Weasley. The twin heartthrobs are sitting on a black leather couch and opposite to their couch is a black leather chair where the Chosen One alias Harry Potter is seated. Fred and George are wearing identical black suits while Harry is wearing simple jeans and a green shirt.
Fred Weasley – (Smiles charmingly at everyone out there. Many female members of the audience swoon at the smile) Hello, everyone! Welcome to our show, the Gred and Forge Show! We are going to interview all those losers on whom dung has been written by the so-called FanFiction writers –
George Weasley – (Clearing his throat loudly in a Pompous Percy fashion) Fred, you are calling yourself a loser, you know. Those FanFiction Writers have written on you as well.
Fred Weasley – But can we interview ourselves? Nope! Besides, those writers describe us as hot and happening people who can make all their OCs – original characters as they call them – keel over. We are not called as Vampire like a very well known person we could mention –
Harry Potter – Well, it is not my fault! Tara Gilesbie made me to be a Gothic loser who falls for her stupid main character.
Fred Weasley – (Glances at Harry and masks a surprised expression) Why, Harry! We did not see you there!
George Weasley – (Puts a similar look to that of his twin's) Harry, You look so very thin! Has our sister not been feeding you?
Harry Potter – (Smiles with raised eyebrows at the twins) Uh, Ginny is feeding me, all right. Anyway, fire away the questions...
Fred Weasley – (Joins his hands and forms an expression of fake seriousness) So, Harry. What are your feelings on the fan stories that have you as a main character?
Harry Potter – I feel weird whenever they link me with males... weirder when they link me with Luna... I feel nice when they make me date –
Fred Weasley – (Jumps to conclusion dramatically) Draco Malfoy! Oh, goodness, Harry, I will never see you in the same way again.
George Weasley – Who knew that you liked ferrets? I thought you preferred weasels like Hermione does.
Harry Potter – (Looks surprised) Weasels? Why, what is so good about weasels?
George Weasley - Young, naive Harry! Say what's not good about weasels!
Fred Weasley - Well, there are a lot of weasels. There are Muggle-loving fools such as Dad, there are fire-breathing tigers such as Mum, and there are Dragon-freaks such as Charlie. The list of the type of weasels goes on to...
George Weasley – Us – the hottest and the most amazing weasels – and there are pompous weasels, for example Percy. In addition, there are weasels who have arachnophobia and the last and the youngest weasel is your wife – Ginny – the batty weasel.
Harry Potter – (Obviously freaked out at the nonsensical stuff that his brothers-in-law were talking of and grips the chair tightly) Oh, I er, get it now.
Fred Weasley – (Drawing a dramatic breath) Young Harry, so where were we?
Harry Potter – (Slowly) You were talking about me liking it when they put me with Draco.
George Weasley – Oho! So you two are on first name basis now, aren't you?
Harry Potter – (Green eyes widening in disbelief and shock) No, no, it's... it's nothing like that! I barely talk to him these days!
Fred Weasley – (In an accusatory tone) Ah, so you were in a relationship with Malfoy before!
George Weasley – And then you two must've broken up and you hitched with our sister so that...
(Fred and George gasp dramatically. The twins back away against their chairs, looking aghast at Harry Potter. There are gasps of horror from the audience)
Harry Potter – (Glances everywhere in disbelief) What? What d'you think of me, eh? I am never interested in –
Fred and George Weasley – DO NOT SAY IT! Take him away, security!
Harry Potter – Sec – what?
(Peeves the Poltergeist comes with two dangerous looking trolls.)
Peeves – Ooh, it's icky Potty, eh? Having fun, Potty? (Turns to the trolls, cackling maliciously) Take him! Take him to where he belongs!
Harry Potter – Whoa – hold it – I – (Looks helplessly at Fred and George. The twins look at him as though he were something contaminated). I didn't mean it – (The trolls lift his shoulders and drag him away.) FRED! GEORGE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I DIDN'T DO IT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY –
Fred Weasley – (In a brave attempt to speak against Harry) We know how you meant it, Potter!
George Weasley – And we bloody well get it now how those FanFiction writers wrote about you!
Fred Weasley – All of it is true! Goodbye, Harry Potter!
Harry Potter – LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE! – (But he's taken away by the trolls and Peeves behind them, cackling)
(Fred and George compose themselves as soon as Harry is dragged away and smile at the crowd.)
Fred Weasley – That was rather dramatic, wasn't it, folks? (Looks at George and says) Harry surely has a chance in theater.
George Weasley – (Conversationally to Fred) Oh yes it was! I mean, I never thought Harry would be so... upset. And I totally agree with your theater-related comment. He does have a chance!
Fred Weasley – (Turns to the audience) We were just yanking his wand. We seriously don't think Harry would like Draco Malfoy. That ferret bounces more than a ball.
George Weasley – Now, this leads to the end of our first episode. Thank you all for viewing this show and we love you!
(The twins blow air kisses at the audience. Female audience sigh dreamily and the lights dim and finally... the show finishes with a lot of applause.)
All right, is it kind of lame? I mean, humor came naturally when I was writing those letters. By the way, Fred's not dead in this fic. I know it's not exactly canonical, however, I always find George incomplete without Fred.
Hope you guys enjoy it.