Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine and this is just for fun.

Summary: Kate dances with Mr. Yost. Kate/Tony brief introspective based off events in episode "Call of Silence", spoilers, possible TATE eventually if continued.

Archive: Sure but please let me know where.

Yeah, I admit it, I cried during this episode. What a show!

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"Do you dance?"

I blink a few times. He's talking to you Kate, I tell myself. I feel myself rising up out of my chair. I am moving into the arms of a man old enough to be my father and whom we are investigating for a 60 year old murder. Nothing about this is right but I can't seem to help myself. None of us can seem to help ourselves. Something in this man is snagging on all of us, leaving a pull in our fabric…in our family. I think to myself, it's impossible to factor in every variable. I'm trying to keep the logical side of me on the surface. This is just to make him more comfortable right Kate? But I know that I'm lying because I'm the one that is suddenly feeling vulnerable as he takes my hand in his.

He begins to sing and pulls me a little closer. The tune is recognizable and not. I feel memories floating over me. I'm sure they are not all mine. The lens that I'm seeing them through seems softer as if it is airbrushing any imperfections I might see. I find myself staring into the past over his shoulder. Every lost moment, opportunity, even people are flooding in behind my eyes. Thoughts of Tony enter my mind and while I wish this surprised me, it doesn't. Things have been shifting between us even though I'm doing my best to ignore it. It's like a slow awareness that something is simmering under all that jest and seemingly innocent flirtation. There's nowhere for you to go with that Kate, I tell myself. Remember Rule #12…

Right. I'm not convinced but it doesn't matter right here, right now. I take a deep breath and lean closer into Mr. Yost. I can smell his past too, sitting there, tormenting him behind his eyes. His lens is cracked. He can't see what we see. A hero. A Medal of Honor recipient who saved countless lives in the line of duty. He can't see that it's not his fault; that he was just doing what he could. They are just memories, not Memorex. It's not fair I think. How can time can be so cruel?

He's humming in my ear. I can feel myself opening up inside. My heart recognizing that all truths cannot be found in facts and evidence. This is dangerous, to open up like this. You can't afford to be vulnerable in your job. When you're vulnerable people die. I squeeze his hand just a little bit tighter. He squeezes back and I can't help the tear that slips out of the corner of my eye. As it falls down my face, I refuse, for the moment, to be embarrassed by the show of weakness. Soon now I'll have to shut it all off again. I hope that I can, because I don't know what I'd do if someone close to me here died. Tony. Gibbs. Abby. Ducky. McGee. I know Mr. Yost would understand. He's been there. Oh how he's been there. There isn't anything you can do to change that Kate, I tell myself. Just dance…and so I do.

I'm watching Kate dance with Mr. Yost. I have to admit that I didn't expect her to. It's so impulsive and a little bit unprofessional…and if Kate is anything it's professional. She's probably expecting me to make some smart-ass comment. That would be the usual Tonyway of dealing with a situation like this but nothing about this has been business as usual. There's something about this guy. I can see that it's hit all of us. I'm not the expert in scene sketching for nothing. I'm trying to ignore what I'm feeling right now watching Kate in his arms, watching her soften right before my eyes. I sense before I see the wetness on her cheek. She's so beautiful right then that my heart cracks open. She's not looking at me and I should be grateful for this but a part of me isn't. Because if she was looking at me she would see inside me, she would see that I'm right there with her…right where I want to be.

Save some of that for me Katie I think. Save some of that for me.