"Get us to Mars, Joker. I'll be in the loft."
Aurin Shepard hadn't been back on the Normandy for 5 minutes and she'd already taken command. The crew was devastated by the destruction on Earth by the Reapers that they'd just witnessed. Hell, they'd even pulled Shepard from the midst of it, but they found it easier to fall back into their roles with her no-nonsense mannerism. They had a job to do and that was to find a way to defeat the Reapers. They had Commander Fucking Shepard at the helm. They could do it.
The crew set to work. Major Kaidan Alenko admired the authority in her voice, they way she had, without hesitation, set them all to their goal, especially considering half the crew had never worked with her before. He wondered if she'd noticed, but she noticed everything. She had to know that most of her old Cerberus team were gone. It had taken balls to take over command of his ship like that. No, it was her ship, he reminded himself. It always had been. He'd been filling in as proxy, overseeing the Alliance refit so that everything would be ready when they finally re-instated her.
But there were things he needed to discuss with her. They hadn't been able to speak, though they'd seen each other a few times since she'd been conscripted as a consultant for the Earth defense council. He didn't know what she'd say, but he'd had months to figure out exactly what he'd say to her. He'd been dreaming about it ever since he saw her alive on Horizon. But she was quick and, pulling himself out of his reverie, he noticed she was already closing the doors of the elevator.
"EDI, I need to speak with the Commander. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Captain's Cabin," Kaidan informed the AI's module near the elevator as he punched the button to go up to the top floor.
"Yes, Major. She has instructed me to let no one in, but I am certain she would make exception for you." EDI sounded a little mischievous to Kaidan's ear and he wondered if that was possible.
She was sitting at the desk near the bed, head in her hands when he opened the door. She didn't look up at the sound, which was so unlike her.
"Shepard?" He asked, noting that the room had been redone in Alliance colors since he'd last been up here, though not much else had changed. He would swear she wiped at her face before standing up to look at him.
She tried putting on her commander's face as he was walking toward her, but failed when he stopped right in front of her.
"Kaidan, I..." She closed the short distance between them, wrapping her arms around him, and rested her forehead against his shoulder.
He had prepared himself for many different scenarios after their exchange on Horizon, but he hadn't imagined this one. He held her tightly, his heart filled to bursting. He felt her shudder before he heard her sob. Without thinking he reached up and stroked her hair.
"Shepard, I'm... I'm sorry for what I said. I was... I thought... And you were there, with them." He laid his cheek against her head and sighed. "But you were right. We were both being stubborn and I felt you'd rejected me and everything we had." It hurt, making that confession, but he had to get it out.
She shifted her weight, looked up at him. "Kaidan. Never. I would never. I... I tried so hard to find you, but Anderson..." She choked up again and he got the feeling that this was about more than just the two of them. He made a mental note to ask about that as well, but she was talking to him, about them, and he selfishly didn't want to send her off in a different direction just yet.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued, "Anderson stonewalled me, and EDI, after we unshackled her, told me about the Illusive Man's efforts to keep me as far away from you as possible. I hate him for that, among many, many other things, but in the end, I can see it was for the best. And I understand why you said what you said. It hurt because I never wanted to hurt you, but also because I'd been saying much the same to myself ever since I woke up on that operating table. I won't take any of it back. I don't want to do anything differently, but I won't let you go again. I won't. I... can't..."
He stopped her with a firm kiss, holding her as tightly as he ever had. He didn't need to hear any more. Shepard, his Shepard, was tough, she'd been through a lot while they were together and even more before and since he'd met her, and he'd never seen her show any sign of weakness. Revealing her vulnerability as she was told him more than any confession of love ever could.
He broke away, tried to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. She laughed to herself, a little embarrassed by her display, but he just smiled. He'd broken her heart once and here he was doing it again, in a completely different way.
She kissed him again, trying to convey everything she felt for him at once: desperation, joy, desire, regret. He was surprised by her insistency and felt himself respond in a way he hadn't in years. He wrapped his right hand up in her hair, pulling her into him with his left hand on her waist. She moaned a little in response, a sigh escaping as she came up for air. Her own hands had wandered, one down to his fine, fine ass, the other up his back, grasping his shoulder.
He slowly, surely walked her back to the bed in between all the kissing and groping, a little amused by his own sudden desire. When the back of her knees touched the edge of the bed, he laid her down, gently, taking advantage of his leverage to run his left hand around from her waist to her stomach, and then up, stopping to caress her right breast.
"Kaidan," she exhaled his name, arching her back and simultaneously pulling his hips into her as she spread her own legs in invitation.
"EDI, lock the door. No interruptions until we're ready to land," Kaidan surprised himself by ordering.
"Confirmed, Major. You have thirty minutes until we arrive at orbital distance. Logging you out." EDI's response made Shepard laugh. Kaidan, for his part, was convinced he heard smug satisfaction in the AI's voice this time.
"Thirty minutes, hmm? Well, no more wasting time, then." With that, she began unbuttoning his dress jacket.
When she finished, he stood on his knees and shrugged it off, impatiently pulling the dress shirt underneath over his head without bothering with the buttons. She used that time to unbuckle both of their belts and pull off her own shirt. They both took a break to undo the laces of their boots, Kaidan kicking his off before leaning over and kissing her now bare chest on the way to pull off her own boots. He stood next to the bed, reaching out a hand to pull Shepard up so they could help each other shimmy out of their pants. She laughed again when he playfully pushed her back onto the bed.
His hands wandered her body reverently and he marveled that he remembered every last scar. The old ones, anyway. He had time to note a few new ones before she took hold of his shoulders and pulled him fully down on top of her.
"I need you," she breathed into his ear, "Now." He could feel her quivering in anticipation under his hands so he acquiesced.