TITLE: Choices

AUTHOR: LOTSlove®

CHARACTERS: Richard / Kahlan

RATING: M

WARNINGS: Author Chooses Not to Use Warnings

TIMELINE: Anything up through S2

DISCLAIMER: I'm completely obsessed with the show Legend of the Seeker and all things Richard and Kahlan. I love to write about them even though they cancelled my show and now I'm fighting to get it back!

SUMMARY: Sequel to my fic Eye for an Eye, Kahlan is on her way to Aydindril with Tristan. Will Richard come to his senses before he loses everything that he loves?

Chapter 1

Shafts of golden sunlight streamed through the window and spilling across the wooden floor, tiny motes of dust seemingly sparkling in the air like pale glitter. The soft meows of a cat outside drifted through the open window, carried on the cool spring breeze.

Cyrus Lang sat back in his chair at his desk with a weary sigh, his tired eyes wandering to the nearby window beside him. A soft smile graced his lips, deepening the fine lines around his mouth as he watched some children play.

His smile grew as his little granddaughter Lysria giggled in delight as she ran after the ball, her little legs taking her as fast as she could possibly go. Her golden curls shone like the sun itself above her, bouncing on her shoulders as she ran. Even from here, Cyrus could see the way her clear blue eyes sparkled brightly in delight.

He couldn't stop the chuckle that rose to his lips as he watched her take on two boys both bigger and older than her in the game they were playing, not the least bit intimidated or afraid. It reminded him so much of his beloved daughter.

His laughter swiftly died on his lips, his amusement fading with the reminder of his only child, his precious Elera. Tears quickly formed in his eyes, his heart hardening even further with the bitter hatred and rage that continually consumed him ever since that horrible day.

He slowly stood to his feet, groaning as he paused to rub his arthritic knee. He shuffled over to the window and leaned on the ledge as he continued to watch her. He ground his teeth as he drew a deep breath, basking in his simmering fury, allowing it to flood his veins and fuel his resolve.

His fingers tightened as they curled more firmly around the window ledge, his fingernails digging deep into the worn wood. His nostrils flared as he reviewed his plans in his mind once again, his smile returning to his lips as he waved at his granddaughter who had suddenly noticed him watching her.

If things continued to proceed as planned, Aydindril would soon be ruled by someone far more capable of leading an empire than a vile Rahl. And if his plans truly succeeded, there would no longer be another living Rahl on the face of the earth.

XXX

Kahlan stared out over the grassy plains, the tall green blades that appeared to wave to and fro with the shifting winds that caused her hair to whip in her face. It seemed to stretch on and on to the very ends of the earth itself, but she knew better. She'd travelled these territories for over two years, following her Seeker in their quest.

It felt good to be out in the open again, away from the daily routines of palace life and the heavy responsibilities that those roles as leaders of an Empire always seemed to carry with it. It was a weighty mantle to carry at times, one that she was thankful to shed for only a few moments.

While she loved her life and the titles bestowed upon her by the good spirits, she loved this part most of all, being back on her horse and seeing the people that she had sworn her life to protect and to care for at all cost.

She closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath and absorbing the fresh clean air, the smell of spring that infused it. She wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself as the familiar stirrings of heartache and loneliness quickly reminded her of all that she had left behind her.

The ache in her chest had become a permanent companion even before she'd packed up some of her things as well as her children and left the People's Palace for her homeland. The fact that her father, Mistress Rachel and Katrina had come along with her hadn't helped ease the ache very much, but it did provide a measure of security knowing they were there to help her with the children.

Five days. That was how long ago it had been since she'd left her husband and the friends that she considered her family behind. Each day that passed by made it feel like an eternity.

The thought of them felt like a deadly blade of a dagger twisting even deeper into her chest as she allowed her sad gaze to wander over the distant horizon, wishing that she would see Richard riding towards them on the black stallion that she had given him as a wedding present well over a year ago.

If she closed her eyes, she could practically see him riding towards her, so very handsome and noble. She could picture the hilt of the Sword of Truth resting in its scabbard glinting brightly in the afternoon sunlight. She would see that smile that she loved on his lips, his eyes gleaming brightly as he drew near.

But she knew he wasn't coming. Not this time.

For the last five days she'd been watching, waiting and secretly hoping that he would let go of his anger with her as well as his stubborn pride. And every day since she'd left, she'd seen nothing but shrinking mountains and growing plains as they began to leave D'Hara behind.

A tangled knot of emotions sat like a jagged rock in the pit of her stomach, leaving her to wonder as to the true state of her marriage to Richard; if he'd ever be able to forgive her, to look her in the eyes again…to still love her.

She did not for one moment regret going after him, risking her life to save to him. While heartbroken over the loss of their baby, she knew in her heart that she had done what was right, what was necessary. Richard was destined for great things, prophesied to stop the villainous ruin that continually attempted to creep up into the world.

While he didn't believe it or hold to prophecy, it didn't make it any less true or his continued rule as the Lord Rahl of the D'Haran Empire any less necessary.

Kahlan momentarily closed her eyes fighting back the tears that formed behind them, threatening to overwhelm her. She just prayed that he would come to see that, would come to know that it had been her deep love for him that had sent her after him and it was love that was taking her away from him now.

She knew that he needed time to think, time away from her to come to terms with all the horrible tragedies that had come to pass over the last several months, blind-siding them and shaking them to their core. He had lost a little boy that he'd had no knowledge of his existence, turning his very world upside down.

On top of that, their twin daughters had been kidnapped, the courtyard destroyed and lives lost. He'd been kidnapped and tortured by Sangria only to watch her lose their unborn child that he had made with her only to return home to find a man that she'd been betrothed to there waiting for them, wanting her to return to Aydindril with him.

He wouldn't even let her explain, would barely even look at her. That was what almost hurt the worst. The way he could barely even make eye contact with her as if she no longer held the same place in his heart that she once did, as if he was repulsed by her very presence in his life.

That wasn't something she couldn't live with.

Feeling a gentle tug on the hem of her skirt, Kahlan looked down to see Paige standing next to her, her sweet angelic face gazing up at her. She immediately leaned over and picked her up, taking her daughter into her arms.

"Dada," Paige whimpered as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. "Dada."

Kahlan's eyes fell closed as her anguish rose in her throat causing her to tighten her hold on her toddler. "I know, my little Princess," she softly replied, pressing her lips against her cheek. "I miss him very much too."

She held her daughter, determined to keep the persistent tears from reaching her eyes. She needed to present a strong impression, hold her heart together for her children as well as for Aydindril. They all needed her to be strong right now more than ever.

Mistress Rachel stood several feet away from her, her arms crossed as she watched the Mother Confessor with growing concern. She was beyond furious with Lord Rahl for letting her leave like this, but even more so for not coming after her.

This was his family, his very life that he was allowing to slip right through his fingers and if he wasn't careful it would be forever. She knew…understood just how deeply Richard and Kahlan's love truly ran, how they would sacrifice everything just to save the other.

Somehow, for some unknown reason she didn't understand, the pain ran too deep, the guilt too wide for love to conquer this time.

Rachel couldn't possibly imagine what could've happened to tear them apart like this, what could keep Lord Rahl from coming after his wife and children. All she knew was that Kahlan went to Caprice to rescue him and the next she knew, Kahlan's leaving with Prince Tristan Kabay for Aydindril a brokenhearted mess.

Kahlan tried her best to hide it, but Rachel could see the pain that cut like a violent rift right through her heart, could feel the intense aching void in her that the separation from Lord Rahl had created. She hoped that Richard was just as miserable as Kahlan was if not more so. It would serve him right.

Rachel instantly tensed as she felt someone approaching from behind. She didn't have to turn around to know that it was Tristan Kabay. As much as she wanted to dislike the man, she found her opinion of him slowly changing every day that passed.

He seemed to have a genuine concern and affection for Kahlan that she hoped was sincere for his sake. If he had anything to do with the trouble in Kahlan's marriage, he would find out the hard way how an agile actually worked.

"What is she doing?" Tristan softly asked as he came to stand beside the Mord'Sith.

"Searching for Lord Rahl, hoping that he is coming," Rachel replied, her scowl deepening with her anger.

"I fear she is just getting her hopes up," he admitted.

"I fear the moment when she stops looking for him," Rachel confessed.

Tristan drew a deep breath, sadly shaking his head. "I can't help but feel that some of this is my fault."

"Why?" Rachel asked, turning to face him. "What did you do?"

"Practically begged Kahlan to come to Aydindril with me," he admitted, his blue eyes focused on his former betrothed. "I went about this all wrong. I should've started out by meeting with Lord Rahl instead, but I thought it would be easier talking to Kahlan since we basically grew up together and she knows Aydindril so well."

"Lord Rahl wasn't here for you to even talk to," Rachel pointed out. "Besides, you said there was unrest brewing in Aydindril. That is not something that can be ignored for too long."

"I know," he agreed. "I just hope that we make it back before something terrible happens."

Before she could respond, Tristan made his way to where Kahlan was standing, his hands in his pockets. Rachel watched as he came to a stop beside the Mother Confessor, his arm moving to her shoulders in silent comfort.

She was going to have to keep an eye on him, make sure that he didn't take this opportunity to further break apart Richard and Kahlan's marriage. So far, he'd proven himself admirable, keeping a respectful distance from Kahlan and doing nothing that would spark any rumors, but she wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

Feeling an arm around her, Kahlan looked up into Tristan's mesmerizing blue eyes, the concern she found swimming there creating a wave of guilt that suddenly rose up within her. She knew everyone was growing more and more worried about her with every passing day.

"I'm sorry, Kahlan," he said, rubbing her arm. "I know that you hoped that Richard would follow us."

"It's foolish of me," she replied, adjusting her hold on Paige who had fallen asleep in her arms against her chest. "We both have duties to attend to. I can't expect him to just drop everything to follow after me."

Tristan's chest clenched painfully with her words. He knew she and Richard were deeply in love, but the knowledge of it didn't make his heart hurt any less. He would forever love Kahlan no matter what direction life took them.

"It's not foolish, Kahlan," he told her. "Love is never foolish."

"Thank you, Tristan," she said, forcing a smile that never quite reached her blue eyes that still swam with so much pain. "I'm afraid that I may have hurt Richard far more than he is able to forgive this time."

"What happened?" he prompted her, tentativeness coloring his voice. "I don't mean to pry into your life, but you've barely eaten or spoken since we left the People's Palace. I'm worried about you, Kahlan."

She released a weary sigh, knowing her friend deserved an explanation. "I…I was carrying Richard's child when I went to Caprice to rescue him," she admitted. "I…lost our baby and Richard blames me for it now."

The unexpected news hit him hard as if he'd been punched in the gut. "Kahlan, I'm so very sorry."

"Thank you, but I knew the risk and I took it anyway," she sadly said, tears suddenly burning unbidden in her eyes over the little life that she and Richard had made, the life that she had lost. "Sangria demanded that I alone come for Richard or she would kill him. I couldn't let that happen to him so I went despite everyone telling me not to. I had to, Tristan. There was no other way."

"It's not your fault," he insisted, tightening his hold around her shoulders. "You were put in a terrible position, a decision that you never should've been forced to make."

"I wish that Richard could see it that way," she softly replied. "Unfortunately, he's furious first for risking my life for him and second for putting our unborn child at risk. And that's on top of everything else that he's already had to deal with recently."

"So he'd rather have had Sangria just kill him, force you to go on without your husband and your children without a father, the D'Haran Empire without their leader?"

"Yes," she nodded her head, fingertips reaching up to brush away unwanted tears of hurt, tears of loss. "I couldn't live with that, knowing that there was something that I could've done to save him and not do it. I'm afraid it's been a point of volatile contention between us ever since I met him. He's allowed to risk death for me, but I'm not allowed to do the same for him."

"I'm so sorry," he murmured again, his heart breaking for her. "I'm sure my appearance certainly didn't help things, did it?"

"No, but it wouldn't have changed things between Richard and me," Kahlan shook her head, thoughtfully hooking a raven lock of hair behind her ear. "Besides, I can't just sit back and do nothing if Aydindril is truly in trouble. It's my home no matter where I am."

"Doesn't Richard believe me that he's in danger of a violent revolt threatening the D'Haran Empire, threatening him?"

"Yes, but he feels an army should've been sent instead of me going to try to handle it myself," she admitted. "I think he feels that I need to trust Edmond to handle this yet unconfirmed threat to Aydindril."

"I really think you being there could go a long way in helping to stifle any stirrings of an uprising," Tristan pursed his lips, letting his arm finally fall from Kahlan's shoulder as he considered her words. "Thank you for coming with me, Kahlan. I know how much more difficult I've made it now for you to work things out with Richard, but I'm positive your presence could make an immense difference."

"My marriage isn't over yet," she said with a sudden feisty determination that brought a smile of remembrance to Tristan's lips. "I will allow him to wallow in his anger and self-pity for only so long before I'll step in and force him to see that he can't expect me to just sit back and do nothing when his life is threatened. Our love goes both ways. We are a team, leaning and depending on one another."

"That's the Kahlan I remember," he smiled with great pride. "You never did let anyone get away with anything before stepping in and knocking some heads together."

Kahlan found herself laughing with his response despite the intense ache that gripped her heart. "You make me sound like such a tyrant."

"Not in the least," he smirked at her with admiration, his blue eyes gleaming brightly. "You're just not someone that I would want to anger or tangle with."

"That's only because you learned that the hard way," she smiled in return, gently patting Paige's back as she held her.

Tristan visibly grimaced with the reminder of a time long ago and yet seemed just like yesterday in some ways. "Don't remind me, Kahlan Amnell," he groaned in protest. "It was not one of my finer moments."

"Being taken down by a girl in a sword fight is nothing to be ashamed of, Tristan," she teased, her eyes sparkling now with amusement. "Besides, you hadn't hit your growth spurt yet. I had almost three inches on you at the time."

"Thank you for pointing that out," he frowned in feigned annoyance. "It wasn't too long after that I finally began to grow and never looked back."

"Now look at you," she grinned. "You're a good foot taller than me."

"I bet I could easily take you in another sword fight," he challenged her.

Kahlan shook her head in amusement. "You're on, Kabay," she shot back with equal determination. "You want to try to take down a poor defenseless mother of three then be my guest."

It was Tristan's turn to chuckle at Kahlan's response. "You are anything but defenseless, Mother Confessor," he laughed, crossing his arms against his chest. "You will find that I've become quite competent in my fighting skills since my early days."

"Then you have yourself a fight," she promised him. "It'll be fun to challenge you again. How many hours did we spend out there practicing in the hot sun?"

"More than I care to remember," he shook his head. "I thought my father was relentless, but Edmund was even worse. How I got wrangled into being your sparring partner is still lost on me."

"I have no idea either," she groaned as they turned to head back to their party. "It'll be so good to see Edmund again. It's been far too long. I hope that nothing is wrong with him. It would hurt me deeply to find him ailing or be forced to remove him from leadership."

"I hope it doesn't come to that either," he nodded his head in agreement.

Kahlan looked from Tristan to find her father waiting by the carriage with Priya in his arms and Katrina holding a sleeping Aiden. Nearing them, it warmed her heart to see her father with her children and yet she couldn't help the fierce longing for Richard that forever simmered in her soul, renewing the ache inside of her.