Hello there! This is my first Alucard and Seras Fic! I really hope you all like it! I'm experimenting at the moment with Light1's view's on homesickness and of course with permission. This is just a collection of oneshots dedicated to Alucard and Seras. Not much in the way of missions, death, or gore. But it will be a bit deppressing but I hope you like anyways. Here's the first chapter! Enjoy!

Shattered Dreams

Cold and Alone

The snow

Falling in soft drops of eternal bliss, each flake of soft purity fell down and landed gracefully upon the raven-haired man as he stood there. Quietly, observing his surroundings, a small smile played around his lips. With eyes half closed he surveyed the beautiful land around him. Taking in a deep unnecessary breath he did his best to breath in the crisp smell. But all was not so, a frown creased into his mouth as he was brought back to reality.

Laying in his coffin with his eyes now open and staring up at the wooden ceiling. It was daytime and Alucard, the No-Life King had been desperately trying to go out with his mind and see the new fallen snow. But he knew as he took a deep breath, the snow would not be the same. A large weight fell upon his chest as the frown only grew, a sudden chill ran through him and he raised an eyebrow.

How unlike me, he thought to himself as he rolled over on his side and pulled the silk sheets up over him. Trying to see the snow, feeling like lead…very unlike me. A sorrow filled his heart as he thought back at his futile attempts of trying to see the white powder along the once grassy planes of England. How beautiful it seemed, how out of his reach it was, and how horrible he felt as the self-loathing creep in slowly for his self-wallowing.

But that did not stop the flow of tears streaking down his porcelain skin. No, it only seemed to intensify as he thought back to the days when he had been a great ruler. With a scowl like no other and hard chocolate eyes he had observed his country with and with an iron fist he ruled. But a couple times of the year, when it would snow, he would change.

Eyes soften, scowl turned to smile, and a rosier plumage in his cheeks and lips occurred. A happy face that now observed the new fallen snow and how it fell in delicate droplets onto his raven hair. How he loved to watch each one fall, remembering fondly when he was little his persistent snow filled goal. To catch them upon his awaiting tongue or just to lay back and count each one that fell upon him.

ARGH! Stop thinking about that! He mentally roared at himself as he found a growl in his throat to reprimand himself with. That was many years ago. You are no longer human. You do not feel these emotions. He suddenly found himself, not laughing, but shaking his head miserably. Trying his best to clear away the thoughts of what the snow always brought to him. And how he wished he could have seen it just one last time when he was human or even as a vampire. But such dreams were not for him, his dreams had shattered long ago. Leaving nothing but broken fragments of scattered though and a deep, never-ending, bitter loneliness.

But as another chill was sent through his body, he couldn't help but laugh. He had not seen the snow in the day for many years. And had not even gone out to touch it in what seemed like an eternity since his capture. But, as he laid there, he still couldn't help but laugh. His human family was gone, his vampire brides were gone, there was no Mina, not even a Lucy around, Integra was only a Master, and no human other than an aged butler dare enter his chambers, and even then only solemnly. But still, all that was left: was the bitter cold. He couldn't help but think bitterly as he flashed back on everything:

Cold and alone in the end again, always cold and alone.

The updates for this story will be realitively slow. Because I need to update my other story "Falling Angel." Anyways, hope you like this story! Please review!!!