Part I
"Oh no" she thought as she heard footsteps growing ever louder outside her door. "I don't think I can take this again." Elsa felt the anxiety grow within her with each step she heard her younger sister take. Ever since she was a little girl Elsa could remember when Anna would approach her door each day. Each time Anna would knock gently three times before trying to embark on a conversation with Elsa, which Elsa almost never responded to, although she longed to, she wanted to with all of her heart. Over the years Elsa had almost become reliant on this daily onslaught led by Anna, but also dreaded it beyond anything else. She could hear it in Anna's voice each and every time, the pain she was inflicting on her younger sister. All Anna wanted was to talk to Elsa, to get just even one word out of her, but that was never accomplished, mostly because Elsa couldn't manage to speak up over the suffocating lump that formed in her throat each time she thought about Anna and the way she was hurting her. Many times Elsa would succumb to tears, which she was positive Anna heard, and presumed was the only reason she kept coming back.
Elsa's heart skipped a beat when the one sign of affection left in her life wrapped on the door, but this time the knocks were different, slower, sadder. Then she heard the soft, whimpering voice from beyond the door that had been closed for so many years.
"Please Elsa... I need someone, and I know you do too; we are alone."
Elsa collapsed onto the bed, anxiety overtaking her. All she wanted to do was let Anna in, but how could she? Her entire room was frozen over, she couldn't let Anna know.
Then came the voice that made Elsa's heart ache so many times before, but this time was worse. "Elsa... I need you, I can't do this on my own, please just let me in."
"I-I.." Choked up Elsa, but then her voice was lost in sorrow of how she is hurting her dear sister. Three years ago to this day their parents had been declared dead. Every year at this time Anna would feel the full weight of it, she had no one to truly help her through it. Just let her in, you can explain your curse to her, she needs you and you need her.
Elsa choked over all the thoughts rushing in her head. I love you Anna. Come in, we can make it through this. "A-... I.. Just go." Elsa stumbled on her words. Great, now you will never be able to mend this relationship. You are just a cold-hearted shut in to her.
"Please, I just need to know you still care at least. Open the door, please." Anna spoke with sniffles making her words become even weaker and painful to hear. An arrow just went through Elsa's heart. She burned, she took a deep breath.
Just get over it, open up, show her you care you stupid monster.
"I c-can't. Please g-go away."
Great now you are just going to crush her already bleeding heart. What is wrong with you? Why can't you just love your sister?
But Elsa did, she loved her sister more than life itself, she just could not ever manage the words she needed to convey this emotion. Instead each time she spoke she made matters worse. She could almost feel it as Anna's heart sank through the floor. She heard sliding then a soft thud as Anna slid to the ground and allowed her head to bang Elsa's door when she landed.
Shaking and with a stomach that seemed to be twisting infinitely, Elsa assumed the fetal position on her bed, looking at the ice covered walls and floors. Her eyes began to burn and become misty. A cold tear tickled as it lazily dripped down Elsa's cheek, landing on the ice cold sheets below her. She felt all alone in her one room in the castle, the only home she had ever known. She remembered how her mother and father tried tirelessly to help her control her curse, but to no avail. And now they were gone, and all Elsa wanted was someone to comfort her. That is all Anna wants too, just open the door. Let her in. For the next four hours Elsa tried to muster up the courage to open the door. To get up and face her sister, who she had hurt for so many years. Elsa was crippled with remorse for shutting Anna out. You can fix this now. You are 20, you need to be her rock while we both go through this.
Overtaken by anxiety Elsa tried to get up but her body would not comply. She thought about the weak voice, the tears, and wondered if Anna was asleep in her room yet. Anna, the only one she had had any kind of contact with in so many years. How was she not supposed to fall for her? Her knocking at the door is what kept Elsa sane, just knowing someone was out there for her made Elsa able to make it day to day. She thought about her early memories with Anna, before her powers had grown too powerful, when they would play. The only happiness Elsa could remember was with Anna. She could remember every freckle on Anna's face, and the way she smiled at Elsa when the older girl made it snow. The warmest smile one could imagine, pure glee. Oh and the wonder that filled Anna's rich, teal eyes. She wanted those days back. She wanted her sister back. So why don't you just go talk to her you oaf? She pushed the thought out of her mind and began to lay idly, imagining what Anna must look like now, as she often did in her many lonely hours in her room. Still the same red hair and the same freckles, but now grown up and she has to be beautiful. Elsa thought her sister must be infinitely more beautiful than her. You are an ugly person, inside and out.