Hey all, here is my first Mentalist fanfic. I tried to focus on something that not many others had before. I figured out a topic and I haven't found any others yet, so I thought that I'd give it a shot. So here ya go, thanks to everyone who has reviewed past stories of mine, they are greatly appreciated. Enjoy and, please review

P.S.- Possible follow up chapter/ sequel? I don't know, maybe if there are enough reviews… ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Burdens

Dreary. That was his definition of the world outside his cozy attic window. It was a rare gloomy day in Sacramento, and as the CBI consultant gazed out over the city, the light pitter-pat of rain graced his ears. It was a boring day so far; three in the afternoon and no cases to be heard of. Jane sat on his makeshift bed with a dull look on his face, contemplating something to keep him busy. His mind drifted to his four colleagues on the floor just below his feet. Cho would most certainly be reading another one of his novels. A stoic, uninterested façade on his face when underneath he was actually quite enthralled in the book. Rigsby would be staring blankly at the computer before him, munching absentmindedly on yet another sandwich he found in the fridge. Vanpelt would be passing the time doing paperwork; acting dutifully as to impress the boss while stealing frequent, longing glances at her tall coworker. And Lisbon; his dear boss who would most likely be cooped up in her office much like he in his attic, staring into space across the room while trying to think of something to do other that the mountains of paperwork on her desk. Yes, she would be tapping her pen like always, occasionally sipping at her coffee and yawning from boredom. He did always adore that yawn, much like everything else she did… except yelling at him. Maybe he should go bother her. Nothing fancy, just something to wake her up a bit. His mind raced into action, thinking of all the ways he could divert her attention from the monotonous day they were all enduring. A smile touched his lips as he imagined her eyes rolling as he strolled in the door to her office and plopped on her couch. He always loved pushing her buttons.

Patrick Jane's smile widened as his thoughts drifted into restricted regions. He imagined her and him talking, her and him laughing, her and them hugging. But it was not until an image floated into his head of him clutching a raven-haired woman to his chest, and kissing her passionately that he realized what he was doing. Snapping his eyes open he rubbed his eyes like he'd done so many times that day.

Exhaling, Jane lay back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. Why was he trying so hard to hide this feeling? It was blatantly obvious to anyone who looked hard enough. But admitting this feeling would be the worst crime he could commit, even if it were only to himself. At least he felt that way… right? He really didn't know anymore. He was always catching himself thinking about her and him together. Sometimes it was as innocent as talking like good friends and other times… well lets just say they weren't very pure thoughts. His mind unconsciously drifted to a scene of two people caressing each other lovingly in the cover of the night. He waited for the wave of guilt to engulf him, but it never came. How could he be such a monster? How could he be so unfaithful?

His thumb fingered the gold band that rested upon its host. It had grown so heavy these past few months but he daren't take it off. Sitting up he examined it, the way it glinted in the dim light. Much like her hair….

Patrick Jane smiled for the billionth time that day as he swept his wife off her feet. Her golden curls swayed in the ocean breeze as she giggled, her nose crinkling and taking his breath away. He was the luckiest man in the world, no doubt about it. They basked in each other's glow on the sand strewn blanket, rolling and laughing until their sides ached. It was just another wonderful day, but when she leant down to his ear and tears of joy prickled his eyes when she whispered him the news, it became the best day of his life.

"You're going to be a daddy Mr. Jane"

Tears stung his eyes now but for a different reason. How could he have let her go? Why did it have to be them and not himself? So many questions that he didn't have the answers to. Red John was the solution to these problems. He would avenge his dear family. Blinking the tears away he smiled half-heartedly as another memory filtered into his thoughts. It had been the morning after their first night together as husband and wife and she had lay on his chest for hours, drawing hearts on his skin with her fingertip. He closed his eyes and remembered their words.

"Patrick?" He looked down to her with a contented smile.

"Yes my love?"

"Can you promise me something?" His smile faltered a fraction at her worried look and he rested a hand on her cheek.

"What is it Angela?"

"You have to promise me first." She stuck out her pinky finger childishly and he hesitantly took it with his own.

"Okay, I promise. Now what is it?"

"Promise me that no matter what happens, no matter what road life takes us on, that you will find happiness and you will keep moving forward with a smile." After a moment's contemplation his trademark, megawatt smile dawned on his face and he kissed her forehead.

"I promise." He repeated.

He had promised, how could he have been so stupid? He hadn't event thought about what that meant. It meant so much more than he could've ever imagined back then.

Pausing, Patrick stood with a start and raised his left hand to examine the ring once more. Angela always did have good intuition, might she have predicted something like this happening?

His thoughts raced and the world spun. His wife, his dear Angela Jane had given him an out. She had made him promise to be happy and to keep moving forward. Jane's thoughts returned to this emerald-eyed boss below him. Did he dare? Staring at the ring that bound him to his past he hesitantly moved his fingers around it. He loved her so much. He could never forget, but he could move forward.

The exiled pictures of his sweet Lisbon came flooding back to him. A sweet embrace, a diamond and emerald ring, her ebony hair against an ivory gown, a kiss, a child… and foremost in his mind was her smile. Her beautiful face beaming up at him much like his late wife had. He would never be able to replace Angela or his sweet Charlotte, but he could share his heart this one last time.

Slowly slipping the ring from his finger he stared at the pale skin beneath it; the only evidence of its existence. Holding it in his palm he made a silent promise, this would be his greatest treasure. He put in in his vest's breast pocket, laying a hand over it momentarily. Tears had long since spilled onto his face and he looked up to a heaven that he didn't believe in. Picturing her smiling face he couldn't help but smile in return. She had opened the door that had never truly been locked and he was now free. Free to move forward, free to be happy, free to live. Red John could wait, for he would still get his revenge no matter what. But in this moment, as he wiped the tears from his face and slowly turned on his heels, all he needed was to go talk to Lisbon.

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!

Please Review! Even if there is nothing you really have to say, a simple Yes or No on whether I should do a next chapter/ sequel would be greatly appreciated!