A/N: Been working on this for a bit. I had to wait until the finale aired to get a good vibe about where the story should go and I think I got a handle on it. This will be canon, but my version has Kate still on suspension. Side note: Who else is seriously disappointed with that finale? I wanted some legit Kate and Daniel moments, and all I got was Miranda and Donnie and their respective storylines. And then all my hopes were thwarted with that horrifically awkward ending. Please tell me this is just a ploy the writers are using to dash our expectations and that the 15 episodes we get next summer will be minus both of those obnoxious conflict characters and the real storyline will finally start. I long for the season 1 finale. That was good. That had merit (and a hallucinatory kiss). This was just sad and reaching. "Just Give Me A Reason," lyrics by Pink feat. Nate Reuss following throughout.
Unsound
I'm sorry I don't understand where
All of this is coming from.
I thought that we were fine,
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear, we still have everything
And it's all in your mind.
(Yeah, but this is happenin')
Kate slept unsoundly on his weathered couch, murmuring unintelligible fragments of sentences ever so often. He'd taken her for a light sleeper, always being on call for a murder in the middle of the night. Now he wished she could sleep peacefully; she certainly needed it. The last few days had been harrowing, between her suspension and the shooting, and finally being proved innocent in the end, the toll on her mental and physical health had led to her collapse on his front porch.
Stunned but not surprised, he helped her hobble over to his couch and told her to sleep. And she'd done just that, if fitfully.
He kept watch over her, refusing to budge even with Lewicki's prodding for him to eat; his classes for the day were over, allowing him the luxury of simply staying with her. Lewicki ducked out, knowing he was neither needed nor wanted, letting Daniel know he'd be back later in the evening.
Daniel thumbed through his Sudoku, searching for one of the empty pages when Kate stirred again, opening her eyes, confusion setting in.
"Daniel?" she questioned. He nodded. "What happened?"
"You sort of collapsed on my porch. Figured the last few days caught up with you. How are you doing?"
She smiled meekly, moving into a sitting position "I could be better. You'd think being proven innocent was something to celebrate," Kate answered, a touch of bitterness in her voice.
"Kate, what happened?" Daniel inquired, setting his Sudoku on the table with a light thump.
She shrugged half-heartedly. "They're sticking with my suspension; pushed it back in fact. I'm off for the rest of the month. Even though my shrink okayed my return, I'm still seeing her. Basically they're making an example of me. You know, considering I'm an intrepid investigator who enjoys going beyond the scope of her investigations."
"Sorry," Daniel said, not really knowing what else to say. The pair lapsed into an odd silence, unsure where to take the conversation. "So…what do you plan on doing with your time off?"
Another shrug. "I don't know. I could clean my practically empty apartment. Do some grocery shopping for the first time ever. Maybe actually try to get back on the dating scene. It's bad enough my coworker is trying to set me up, now I've got my dad harping about my 'solitary' lifestyle," she replied, frustration and loathing coating her tone. "I mean, I've already been married once and look how well that turned out! Like it's my fault Donnie cheated because I wasn't there enough? How is that fair, honestly?"
Daniel hoped she was talking more to herself than him, considering she wasn't even looking at him. He really didn't want to dwell on who Kate dated either. It was out of his comfort zone in more ways then one.
"Um, shouldn't you save this topic for your shrink?" he asked numbly. She glanced at Daniel, lost in her own thoughts.
"Sorry, you're right. I should probably head out anyways. I really didn't mean to pass out on your porch," Kate said apologetically, brushing a chunk of her hair out of her face.
"Just try not to do it again, once was enough," Daniel said sheepishly. "You know, you can always come to the lectures if you're bored? Unless the thought of listening to me wax poetically on the topic of neuroscience fourteen years later doesn't sound as charming as it did when you were eighteen."
She smiled brightly. "You could never be boring, Daniel. I'd love to hear your lectures again. Count me in. It'll keep me from organizing my takeout menus and wondering how I became a cat lady at thirty-two with just Veronica to keep me from doing something drastic."
"Alright, see you at eleven then," he answered in a comically professional tone. She shook her head, collecting her bag from the floor where Daniel had placed it.
"See you in the morning, Daniel," she replied softly, letting her hand drift over his shoulder as she made her way towards his front door. He froze at the nonchalant gesture, wondering if she knew she'd even made the comforting motion. In her bone weary state he supposed she hadn't, but it still sent a chill through him. A pleasant, lingering shiver.
The next month's worth of lectures would never be the same.
XOX
Kate hesitated in front of her full-length mirror. When she was a freshman, she'd been more concerned with actually making it to class on time then what she was wearing. That changed when she realized her neuroscience professor was young and…well, hot. Even then her wardrobe consisted of a simple tee and jeans, a pair of converse thrown on in the spring or boots in the fall.
She debated between a navy button down or a gray Henley, wanting to seem casual but not on the level the students were. She was no longer a student, and she wanted that to be clear more than anything.
Glancing at the clock with a sigh, she chose the gray tee, her little worn dark skinny jeans (they weren't exactly work appropriate), and the dark brown calf high boots she'd purchased on impulse from Nordstrom back in an early summer sale. She kept her makeup the same, and was about to throw her hair into a bun when she realized she wasn't going to work, and let the strands slip through her fingers, opting to keep her auburn mane down and straight. Kate had the sneaking suspicion that, as with most men, Daniel liked her hair down anyways.
Kate grabbed her coat and scarf, along with her bag, and shoved a crisp new notebook and pen into it with a small smile. It couldn't hurt to learn something new.
She'd pick up her usual coffee and chamomile tea for Daniel on her way to class.
XOX
He was anxious. He was never this anxious in anticipation for one of his lectures, but he supposed today was different. Kate was going to be there, and he couldn't decide if it was a relief or simply unnerving.
He'd never been like this, even when she was a student.
"Maybe because you couldn't do anything about it then?" Natalie said, a sly smile gracing her lips from the corner of his desk where she perched. "She's not a student anymore."
"Thanks, you're really helping the situation," he mumbled dryly, not wanting anyone waltzing into his office to see him conversing with himself. Dean Haley and Lewicki had a fond proclivity for entering without knocking, and now Miranda chose to just casually 'drop by' at all odd hours. "Besides, Nat, I have Miranda, you know, the woman that wanted to meet you?"
Natalie's smile faltered. "Yes, the ungodly awkward situation that presented was certainly memorable. I guess coming on strong is her forte," she added with a flourish of a gesture, as if flicking dust off of a sleeve.
"Why can't you be happy for me?" he demanded quietly, upset with her reaction to his estranged college sweetheart.
"I'll be happy for you when you're happy for you. Until that time, you get to deal with this dazzling side of my personality. She's trying to hard to embrace everything about you, and it's suffocating you, Daniel. You feel it and I feel it," Natalie implored, gripping his hand.
"At least she's trying to embrace it," Daniel grumbled, scratching out an improper sentence structure on one of his student's papers. Spell check and word formatting be damned.
"And to whom are you referring to with that? Me or Kate? Because as I recall, you couldn't be bothered to allow Kate to see you talk to me, but Miranda, a woman you haven't seen in, well, more than twenty five years gets a backstage pass to all of your closely guarded hallucinations."
The haughty tone she used pricked his ears and made him cringe. By all accounts, she was right. But he wouldn't let her know that.
"It's different…with Kate. I don't want her to know that side again," Daniel answered her solemnly, pressing the red pen he held into the table with agitated fervor.
Natalie sighed, crossing her arms and moving off the desk corner. "You need to ask yourself why that is Daniel," she said cryptically, vanishing as his students filed in.
It was always annoying when she was right.
XOX
Kate shifted her weight from one foot to the other, checking her watch sporadically. She didn't want to be late and the line was considerably long today. She wanted to bring Daniel tea and just…talk…before his class started. Thankfully she visited this particular coffee cart so often, practically a regular by campus standards already, that Earl gave her a smile and a nod, pointing to the two cups balanced on top of the glass covered pastries.
She shot him an equally thankful smile, slipping a ten-dollar bill, far more than was necessary for the cheap tea and coffee, into his jar. Hell, the better she tipped the faster her coffee arrived, and that was something she didn't mind paying for when she was in a hurry.
Pulling her scarf tighter and grabbing the warm collared cups, she shivered against the brisk autumn wind and started the trek across the quad.
"I need to learn your trick," a female voice echoed behind her. Kate whirled, wondering if the woman was speaking to her or another passerby. Clearly she was the designated target as the woman almost half jogged to catch up to her while balancing two cups of her own.
"Trick?" Kate questioned.
"You were all the way in the back and he had your coffee's all set to go. How long does it take to get service like that?" The woman asked with a charming smirk.
"I'm kind of a frequent flyer in this neck of the quad. I over tip Earl, he gets my order all ready for me on the sly. It's a beautiful relationship," Kate answered politely, overly romanticizing the story.
"Over tip. I should write that down," she accepted with a nod.
"Well I also might have helped Earl out of a jam involving a speeding ticket awhile back. The kind a poor college student can't afford. He's already on scholarship and has to work hard for the grades he gets and having to have a job isn't all that helpful. It's a mutually beneficial system," Kate added with a grin.
"Are you a professor then?" she asked quizzically, probably trying to figure out how old Kate actually was.
"No, no. FBI agent," the woman's eyebrows shot up briefly, probably in disbelief. "I'm here to see a friend. I've got some time off."
"I see. Well enjoy your coffee, and your time with your friend," the woman said, looking at her own watch. "And wow, it looks like I need to be on my way too. Have a nice day."
"Yeah, you too."
XOX
The door of his office opened without a knock, as usual. He was glad Natalie was gone. He'd have to start teaching manners in his neuroscience classes if he were ever to get some peace.
"How many times…oh, Miranda," Daniel corrected upon looking at the entrance, pushing himself up from his desk. "I thought you had class?"
"I do, but they're warming up. Figured I'd drop by with coffee," she beamed brightly, holding one of the standard white cups out to him. "Black, two sugars, right?"
"She does know you're a paranoid schizophrenic, right?" Natalie scoffed, having taken the seat next to his desk. He cast a knowing glance at her before returning his focus to Miranda.
"That was…sweet," he answered carefully, avoiding Natalie's dark glare. "You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted too," she said, still holding out the cup.
He was about to respond, make up some sort of excuse when a soft resounding knock echoed in the small room.
"It could be one of my students. Come in," he called, thankful someone was respectful enough to knock.
The heavy door creaked open, revealing Kate Moretti practically swallowed by her trench coat and puffy scarf. "It's brutal out there. Just be happy I braved the weather to get you your tea," she stated swiftly, still trying to balance the cups in her gloved hands while pushing the door closed. "I was afraid I'd be…"
Kate stopped, realizing Daniel wasn't alone in his office when she finally turned around. "Oh."
Natalie looked amused. "Well this is awkward."
Daniel ran a hand through his unruly hair, lost for words. The woman froze, the cup still held out awkwardly to Daniel. She looked back and forth between Daniel and Kate, confused.
"Tea?" she questioned dimly, recognition filling her dark eyes. "You're the coffee trick girl," the woman stated, and the friendliness that had been in her voice on the quad had dissipated.
"It's Kate, actually," Kate answered, flushing.
Daniel seemed to finally snap back to the reality of the situation. "Uh, Miranda, Kate, and Kate, Miranda. Miranda was my college girlfriend. Kate used to be one of my students," he finished lamely, addressing each of the women.
Hurt clouded both of the women's expressions for entirely different reasons.
Was my college girlfriend flickered through Miranda while former student rocked Kate.
Miranda thawed first. "Kate the FBI agent. How does that have anything to do with neuroscience?" she asked calmly, sounding anything but. Daniel swallowed thickly and Kate looked away, feeling more out of place by the second.
"He consults for me, on cases where a mental illness or other psychological disorder could possibly be the root cause of a crime," Kate answered, keeping her words diplomatic and distant.
"And that's healthy for you Daniel? Working with the FBI?"
Daniel looked a bit incensed, going on the defensive. He didn't need to be coddled by his girlfriend. "About as healthy as a schizophrenic drinking coffee," he said before he could stop the sentence from tumbling out.
Miranda recoiled, as if she'd been slapped. Daniel reached out numbly.
"I'm sorry Miranda, I didn't mean that."
Miranda shrugged, trying to recover. "It's fine. I've got a class to get to. I'll…see you for dinner." She left quickly, coffee and all.
The loud bang of the door closing had both flinching.
"Maybe I should have knocked," Kate said quietly, wanting to flee like Miranda had.
Daniel laughed but it was humorless. "You did knock."
"Right," she replied. "New girlfriend?"
Daniel sighed, leaning back against his ornate desk. "More like, new old girlfriend. We were college sweethearts until she got a request to go to Vienna. It wasn't that I wanted her to go, I didn't want to be what held her back. I broke it off and after she left, that's when I met…"
"Natalie. Or Caroline," Kate corrected herself.
He nodded. "That's when the schizophrenia kicked into high gear. I never really thought about her again. I just…dismissed the relationship as silly, a childish infatuation."
Kate felt like a heel for interrupting, but she couldn't quell the uneasiness when she said, "But she's back now."
"Yes, yes she is."
"You should…you should try, Daniel. See if it works out better this time. Clearly she knows about you. If she still feels the same way about you then take a chance," Kate advised, feeling as if every word was ripping a hole in her heart and her lungs, shortening her breath. "I mean, Donnie and I have talked about giving us another shot."
Daniel's eyes shot to hers, a healthy distrust and disapproval glimmering in their depths. She tried to look back and couldn't.
It was a lie, one that twisted her stomach into vicious knots. After the verdict she'd been living on an adrenaline high, hyper aware of every emotion around her. When Donnie had knocked on her door bearing her favorite Chinese food, all she could see were the good times, the happy aspects of their marriage. They'd kissed and it consumed her, those familiar emotions, the adrenaline coursing through her veins making her want to take a risk no matter how bad the fallout. He'd been right, telling her to wait out the rush, to see if giving them a second chance was something she truly wanted.
When he came to visit her a week later, they talked. She knew then that it wasn't right. It wasn't what she wanted. They set each other free, opting to remain distant friends and tedious coworkers, but little else. They deserved to be happy.
Kate knew the desire to have Donnie back in her life was because she couldn't have Daniel. He'd made that abundantly clear, and now he'd moved on with an old flame.
Until the trial, she never realized how lonely her life was.
"We should get to class," Daniel commented, choosing to remain oblivious to the many elephants taking up the room. He desperately wanted back in his comfort zone.
"Yeah, we should," Kate replied, a grim smile on her delicate face. "Your tea."
He took it reluctantly, his fingers brushing briefly against her gloved ones. Even through the soft leather he could feel that twinge of something more, something he refused to acknowledge for the greater good. "Thanks Kate."
"Anytime," she said, breathless. "I'll see you in class, professor," Kate couldn't help adding cheekily, accompanied by a sly wink.
Daniel gave her a crooked grin. She was giving him an out, letting their usual playful quips seep into their conversation.
"You better be prepared to take copious notes, Hand-Always-In-The-Air-Girl," Daniel snickered, recalling his defunct nickname for his favorite student.
She shook her head, wrinkling her nose. "See, I always knew you had a nickname for me!"
His wary smile eased, but he allowed her one more small insight before she disappeared around the corner. "It didn't last long, you know. The nickname. I learned your name within that first week, Kate," Daniel said quietly, almost intentionally emphasizing her name.
Kate's brown eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't respond. "I'll see you in class, Daniel," she repeated lightly, leaning against the heavy door for a moment once she was outside the office, feeling lighter than she had in days.
Maybe there was still some sort of hope left for them after all.