Robbed by Giants
From the last episode, "Bells", if Jess and Nick had actually talked about Nick/Schmidt's fight.
"Oh, and where is the fridge and couch. Were we robbed by giants?" I ask walking into the living room.
I receive no answer from Winston, so I decide to hunt down the other two for answers. The bathroom, laundry room, my room, Nick's room and Winston's room are empty and I can't even get into Schmidt's for some reason. Frustrated and tired I wait patiently on the rug watching random TV shows for a few minutes until I get bored of one and move onto the next.
"Hey! Hey Jess!" Nick is hollering above me as the ceiling comes into view.
"Stop shouting." I demand with a major headache surfacing.
"Sorry." He replies sitting down beside me. "You were completely out." He starts up seconds later.
"I must have fallen asleep." I suggest as he gives me that 'no shit Sherlock' face. I smile slightly until I question the place in which we are sitting and remember my quest from earlier. "So why is there no fridge or couch?"
Nick grimaces and automatically I just know it has something to do with their stupid fight. "My retaliation to Schmidt dumping pounds of frozen food on my bed." He says shrugging.
I can't help laughing as he shoves me and I topple over not having the best of balance. "I knew about the fight and the basketball net and apparently now the large pieces of necessary furniture." I emphasize on the 'necessary' part, "but frozen food; all rotting and seeping into your clothing and bed. Saturating your bed spread with moldy organic residue-"
"Okay Jess. I got the picture. And by the way, there really wasn't much seepage okay. Since when do frozen pizzas seep?"
"I don't know." I say screwing up my face trying to imitate his angry turtle. I fail horribly though as he has no idea what the heck I am doing.
"So why is this argument such a big deal?" I ask entering serious Jess mode.
He hesitates at first, but barrels on. "We, Schmidt and I, were both headed for the high end jobs when we were younger, and then I dropped out of law school and got the job as a bartender and even though we don't really talk about it, I feel the need to make up for my low income by fixing things my way, which obviously isn't too great."
"What do you mean? I almost got crushed by a cabinet door because you unfixed it, after fixing it." I reply tilting my head trying to get my brain around my former comment. "Look!" I catch his attention standing up and going over to the side table. "500 dollars easily. With you; less than 25 cents in duck tape-"
"Jess, that's not worth-" He tries interrupting me, but I continue.
"A whole new door stop system," I say making a dramatic effect with my hands. "50 dollars. Your stress ball glued to the wall; easily 45 dollars cheaper Nick!"
"Thanks Jess." He says standing up beside me leaving me confused.
"For what?" I reply focusing in on a random stray of hair that's migrated down from the top of his head to right over his brow.
"You really going to make me say it while I'm in this rather depressed state?"
I laugh at his dramatization but still nod my head.
"Thanks for showing me, with a very inaccurate set of numbers, how much I really affect you and Winston and Schmidt's lives."
"No problem dude." I reply nudging him right back.
"Oh. And I am sorry about the cabinet. Don't let me forget to fix that or anything else in this apartment or your room or the bathroom or-" I cut him off.
"I understand Nick, thanks." I stand in place for what seems like minutes before I walk off to my room.
Out in the living room I can hear Nick talking to himself. "500 dollars for a table leg. Must be a table leg of gold." He mocks me in a high pitched voice.
"Hey Nick, I found something!" I scream from my room.
"Huh?" He answers back clearly very confused.
"My closet door seems a little stiff. Maybe you could fix its hinges."
"Really Jess? Already! I was being sort of hypothetical."
"You didn't sound like it."
"But I was."
"But that's not what I heard."
"But that's what counts."
"Oh come on Nick."
"Later."
"Fine."