Gentlemen and Ruffians
Gentlemen loved Gwen. They would devote themselves to her entirely.
Even in the face of adversity, gentlemen loved her. Even when threatened with separation, gentlemen loved her. Even when she rejected them nonstop, gentlemen loved her.
She would have loved them back, except for one thing. She did not want a gentleman. She wanted a ruffian.
The gentlemen would concede for each other. When it was clear she preferred one to the other, the rejected gentleman would let them be. After all, what harm could he do? He's a gentleman too.
They would have done the same for Duncan, except for one thing. He was not a gentleman. He was a ruffian.
Trent became desperate to keep her from losing interest in him. Cody sympathized with his loss; however, he knew that he was the acceptable back up plan.
She could have dated him after Trent became too desperate, except for one thing. Cody was desperate too. She did not want a desperate gentleman. She much preferred a distant ruffian.
Trent could see it coming all along, but Cody was blinded by optimism. That's why he was hit even harder when the truth came out.
He wanted to support her happiness, like he had done in previous years, except for one thing. Duncan was not a gentleman. He was a ruffian.
As a ruffian, Duncan had made moot all the points Gwen had used to reject him in the past. He could understand Trent. Trent was a model citizen; he was sweet, and empathetic. He was a true gentleman that made Cody seem like a creep in comparison. Duncan was not. You say I'm annoying, he would think, but do you have a problem with his jerky attitude? You say I'm creepy, he would think, but do you have a problem with his shocking apathy to pain?
Cody was so upset that he started to cry. Trent located him, and asked, "Hey, are you okay?"
"I just saw Gwen decide that Duncan was the hottest guy ever," Cody said, "Over me. Over you."
"It's not… that bad," Trent lied, attempting to make Cody feel better.
"Yes it is," Cody shot back, glaring at Trent as best he could with his aquamarine eyes welled with tears.
Trent muttered, "I… I know," and then sat by Cody.
Cody sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "It's not fair. Why do they always want the bad boys? And never the sensitive guys like us."
"I don't know," Trent said, "It seems counterintuitive to me too." Then, he appeared to cheer up, and said to Cody, "But hey! I'm sure that someone somewhere would like to go out with both of us."
"With you, maybe," Cody answered.
Trent offered Cody his hand and then picked him off the ground. "Cheer up, Cody," Trent said, "You accepted defeat from me; why not Duncan?"
"Because Duncan's not like us!" Cody said, "He's not a gentleman… he's a ruffian."
"Yes," Trent said, "But maybe, if she dates him, she'll realize what she's missing out on, and either come back to me, or test the water with you, or find some other nice boy."
"Okay," Cody said, "I'll take your word for it." He kicked around a little and then said, "I don't suppose there's any way to speed up the process."
Trent glanced over. He saw a woman in a veil. "Hey Courtney," he said.
Courtney, embarrassed, covered her face harder. "Uh… I'm not here!" she said.
"Yes, you are," Cody said, crossing his arms.
Trent turned to Cody and asked him, "How are you with distorted eerie dialogue?"
"I'm the master at it," Cody said, pulling out his software.
"Courtney, is it true that you can wail like a ghost?" Trent asked.
"Of course I can," Courtney said, "Why?"
"Because… I have a plan, and I need your help for it to work."
Trent, Cody, and Courtney all huddled.
That night, Gwen and Duncan were sitting in each other's arms. Duncan leaned in for a kiss, when all of the sudden a mysterious, high-pitched voice moaned, "Gweeeeeeeen. Gweeeeen! You have faaaaaaiiiiled."
Gwen said, without looking up, "Cody, is that you?"
There was some hesitation but then the voice assured, "Noooooooo, I am not Cooooody. I am a ghooooooost! Of one of the woooomen Duncan betraaaaaayed."
"One… of the…" Duncan said, looking surprised.
"I will shoooow myseeelf now."
On fairly inconspicuous wires, Courtney, still wearing the veil, with her eyes closed, and covered from head to toe in talcum powder, was let into the room. She shrieked.
"C-Courtney?" Duncan asked.
"Courtney's dead?" Gwen asked alarmed.
"Believe what you waaaant," Courtney lip-synced to Cody's words. Then she shrieked again.
Duncan was genuinely terrified for a brief period of time, until he noticed the wires hanging from the ceiling, and pulled them down. Courtney said, "Hey!" in her normal, living voice and then fell to the ground, exposing her still mocha-colored legs.
"Oh, thank god it's a hoax!" Gwen said.
"Nice legs," Duncan told Courtney. "You must really miss me if you put on this stunt."
"Well, it wasn't my idea," she said to him bitterly.
"Then whose was it?" Duncan asked.
"It was Trent's," Cody answered, making himself known.
"Yes, it was," he said sheepishly.
"You guys…" she said, "Listen, I don't know why you guys have such a problem with me and Duncan dating!"
"Let's see, you broke my heart?" Trent answered.
"We were already broken up," Gwen explained, "And what about you, Cody? I never even dated you."
"But you think that Duncan is the greatest thing since sliced bread," Cody said exasperatingly.
"Listen, guys, Duncan isn't that bad," Gwen said.
"Not that bad?" Cody said, "He's the bane of existence for all basement dwellers and people with IQ's over 140!"
"You know what, Cody," Gwen said, "Has it ever occurred to you that that doesn't affect me? And it's not like he would leave you alone if he was also jealous of you."
Cody was going to respond to that, but then realized that she was right. He sighed. "I suppose that our little display tonight wasn't very gentlemanly."
"No," Gwen said frankly, "It wasn't."
Cody and Trent walked away sheepishly, ashamed of what they had done. Then, suddenly, Trent cheered for seemingly no reason.
"Trent," Cody said, "Why are you cheering?"
"We were successfully ruffians!" Trent answered. "Which means… we're halfway there!"
"Or so you would assume," Cody teased.
Trent and Cody playfully pushed each other around, and tried to move on. At least they had each other to sympathize with.