I was lost and frustrated. I would feel restless and walk to nowhere: looking for something I could never find by wandering, striving for a destination I knew I could never reach. And when I was with her, I felt like she was just an excuse for a wrongdoing I hadn't yet been asked about. I appeared content and lovesick, but that was just a lie. When we were lying outside among the lush grass, our palms tentatively kissing, her pure hands seemed like rose petals lying in the mud. The sky above us was dark and secretive, specked with crystalline tears. As one fell, she spoke. Make a wish, she said, and I felt so empty that all I could wish for was clarity.
"Hey Prongs, where'd Moony go?"
"Wow, do I look like his social adviser?" Receiving an insolent glare from Sirius, James added, "Just check the Map if it matters that much to you. Don't know why you care so much, mate. He's probably getting in some early studying time for his N.E.W.T.'s or something."
"Or with Madame Lianha!" cried Peter in delight, referring to the old witch who worked in the infirmary who had given Remus a very THOROUGH examination in the second year, much to his embarrassment and his friends' delight. The joke that she was romantically involved with Moony, however, had been funny for about a month. Peter grinned rather smugly, pleased with his most excellent sense of humor.
Sirius rolled his eyes and flicked his wand lazily, and the Marauder's Map drifted into his hand from the boys' dormitory.
At that exact moment, Lily Evans stormed through the entrance to the common room, completely soaked.
"Which one of you assholes flushed a Wet-Start Firework down the toilet in the girls' bathroom in the North Tower?" She sounded absolutely furious; her almond-shaped green eyes seemed to be emanating pure rage. The common room fell completely silent.
"That was supposed to go off when the bathroom was vacant!" James hissed. "Moony screwed up the spell somehow-" He interrupted himself and leapt out of his chair, rumpling his hair habitually as he ran to greet her. "Wow, love, I hope we can catch that, erm, trouble-making hooligan and reprimand them for their actions, which were, by the way, completely irresponsible and not humorous at all-" His voice trailed off as he followed Lily to the chair in front of the fireplace, talking animatedly.
"That's funny, 'cause he really did it," Peter said in attempt to break the silence, but Sirius wasn't listening.
"He's outside," he murmured. "with Siana Gryffin. What a- wow. He's fucking stupid." Sirius' voice was starting to raise with agitation.
"Where is he?" Peter glanced eagerly at the map.
"In the courtyard next to the West Corridor." His voice dripping with sarcasm, Sirius added, "Probably watching the stars or something."
Clarity, I wished as the star faded beneath the horizon line. And it that moment it came to me.