Well, here it is! Chapter one of the second part to What If? I would recommend reading that first, then reading this one. Enjoy!
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Kathryn sat outside Admiral Paris' office, he didn't normally keep people waiting, it was making her anxious. They had been home for two weeks, Starfleet had debriefed most of the Voyager crew, but Paris had requested a private meeting with her. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, not that she had anything else to do right now, but she wanted to get this over with; she had a feeling she knew what it was about. She had seen very little of her crew since returning, unless they were in a group meeting, though there was a welcoming home party being held being held tomorrow evening, she hoped she'd get time to talk to them then.
She'd seen her family on the first day, her mother and sister, then during the week she'd met Phoebes daughter, Katie, named after her and seen Cody again, though he'd been shy of her. She even had a family dinner with Mark, feeling sorry for him when he'd told her his marriage had failed and his ex now lived in the UK with their son.
The door to Paris' office opened and he appeared.
"Kathryn." He smiled.
She stood, returning the smile. "Admiral, it's nice to see you."
"Kathryn, we've known each other too long for you to still be calling me Admiral." He showed her into the office. "Sorry to have kept you, unexpected call." He sat down at his desk, Kathryn took the seat opposite. "Can I get you anything?"
She shook her head, noticing a picture of his son, Tom, her helmsman, on the shelf behind the older man. He was a dad now, B'Elanna having giving birth onboard Voyager as they made their way back into the Alpha Quadrant.
"I've asked the debriefing team to let me handle this situation personally. At the end I will give them my report."
His comment pretty much confirmed her thoughts. "You're going to ask me about Chakotay." She cut over the top of him, stunning him into silence. "I had wondered why it hadn't been mentioned." She sat back, getting herself comfy. "What would you like to know."
Paris composed himself, took a padd off a pile, tapped a few buttons then asked. "Did you and Commander Chakotay have a relationship whilst you were commanding Voyager?"
"Yes."
"Was it of a sexual nature?"
"Yes." She could see he didn't look comfortable asking her, given that when her father had died
he'd became some what if a father figure to her. But it was either him asking or be interrogated by the other Admirals.
"How long did it last?"
Kathryn shrugged, was anyone really keeping track of time out there. "4 years... maybe."
He nodded, inputting her answers. "How did it start?"
"Oh you know. Girl tracks down boy, boy sacrifices ship, they both get stranded with no hope of getting home." There was no humour in her voice, she knew she wouldn't have gotten away with comments like that if it's been anyone else.
"Kathryn, I don't want to be asking these, but I have to. You violated the Prime Directive by having a relationship with a subordinate."
"Would it help if I told you every time we went to bed he'd put his Marqis uniform back on." Her tone was becoming hostile, she'd had enough. They wouldn't understand, they couldn't, they were Starfleet, as far as they were concerned she had done wrong and it didn't matter that they thought they'd never get home.
"Kathryn!" His outburst made her jump. "For the sake of your reputation I will refrain from putting those comments in my report, but you need to cooperate, your carer is at risk here."
She rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes, feeling deflated. "Can I have a glass of water, please."
She heard him moving around, ordering two glasses of water, the whirl of the replicator, the sound of glass clicking the table in front of her. She sat up and slipped the cold liquid.
"Can we start again?" He asked.
"The was an attraction between us, from the beginning. Things didn't get... 'sexual' until we were stranded on New Earth." She felt ashamed at her comments, keeping her head she stared at her glass.
"Why did it end?"
She shrugged. "We drifted apart. I think arguments we had over the Equinox completely ended it."
She heard him sigh. "Why Kathryn? Truthfully. Not just because of the Prime Directive. What about Mark?"
She glanced up, the padd had been put down, this was off record. "There was an attraction between us." She repeated. "I didn't think we would get home... I didn't think I'd see Mark again. I didn't give up hope of getting home, I just didn't think we would actually make it in our life time. But I couldn't tell the crew that, I had to give them hope." She sighed, realising she was going off track. "We were alone... I was alone." She added more quietly.
He nodded. "I think that will be enough for now. If there anything else I'll be in contact."
They both stood, shook hands and said their goodbyes, then she left. Emotions flooded her, anger at Starfleet for putting her through that, shamefulness at her behaviour, tears filled her eyes that she didn't see him heading towards her until they collided.
"Kathryn." His hands were on her arms, steadying her.
She looked up into those brown eyes of his, he had been the only one she hadn't seen during he two weeks, seeing him now was starting to have the same affect on her as when he'd first beamed aboard Voyager all those years ago.
"Chakotay." Was all she could manage.
He smiled, she scolded herself as feelings she thought and long died stirred. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"Me neither." Her mind had melted.
He chuckled. "I've got a meeting with Owen, fancy a drink after?"
She nodded, of course he'd be here to see Paris, it hadn't crossed her mind that he would subjected to the same questioning.
"Are you sure all right?" He sounded concerned.
"Yeah - " Anything else she had to said was lost by the sound of Paris calling his name.
"Little Coffee House on the corner?" He asked as he started heading towards the Admirals office.
"See you in a bit." She confirmed, watching as he disappeared into the office. Either he had no idea what the meeting was about, or wasn't letting it get to him. She took a deep breath, she hadn't expected old feelings to resurface upon seeing him. But then she hadn't really given much thought to him, maybe noticing his absence from group briefings, other than that she didn't wonder what he'd been doing, or where he was. Or who he was with.
She frowned as she entered the turbolift, clenching and unclenching her fists and made her way out of Starfleet Headquarters and towards the Little Coffee House.