Hellloooooo everyone.
As you may have read from the description, this story focuses on Inuyasha's backstory.
Which has little to no canon, sadly. SO, for quite a few years, I have spent my time mentally editing how his life went down, and this is my final edit.
Enjoy
Disclaimer: I don't own the canon characters but I DO own about 98% of this story and all the OCs, so go away copyright claims.
Memories Best Forgotten
Chapter 1: Home
"You… You're pregnant?!"
Izayoi flinches but remains silent. She prays to every Kami watching over her that her betrothed won't kill her in a violent rage.
She gulps past the lump in her throat, croaking out a soft, "Yes, my lord."
Her eyes remain low to the ground, not wanting to anger him more with eye contact.
Takemaru glares at the small woman kneeling before him, a woman he thought he loved. He knew her father forced her into the marriage, but that was for the two clans to remain on good terms. Takemaru was kind enough to give her time.
Besides, it wasn't even her father who wanted the marriage… It was him. Ever since he passed through her clan's village, almost as large as his own, he wanted her. He first saw the young woman sitting just outside her palace, the surrounding docks overlooking a sparkling pond, but it was her that caught his gaze.
She was beautiful. Her porcelain flesh unblemished, her lips red with a rosy rouge, her hair flowing softly down her shoulders, her smile… And as he left to return home, a single thought ran through his mind. I must have her.
And so he did, her father barely even putting up a fight. She had one sister, two brothers, her father, and a sickly mother. Her family was fine without her.
She was perfect to continue his lineage.
Which has been broken. His beloved has welcomed another man into her body, and his child rests in her now swollen belly. But whose child?
Takemaru was not one to throw fits, nor to experience bouts of rage. He replaced the previous daimyo of his clan due to his cunning nature.
And he will use it now. Hopefully, he can forgive her, even if she is no longer the innocent maiden he yearned for, because even now, her beauty is beyond compare. Even now, he desires this woman.
"With whom?" He asks, the anger gone from his voice.
He thought that his lessened rage would have calmed the frightened girl, but she only seems to become more nervous at his question.
"W-with a general, my lord." She manages, attempting to keep it vague, her heart practically beating out of her chest.
"A name, my love." He tries again, keeping his voice level, showing her no ill-will. Already running ideas through his mind on what to do with the child; keep it or drown it? No, she'd despise him. He doesn't want that.
"I don't know his name, m-my lord." She lies, her voice shaking.
"Izayoi…" He bends down onto his knee and places his hand under her chin, lifting her head up to face him, her indigo eyes betraying her. "Why do you lie?"
She sucks in a breath and attempts to regain her composure. "B-because I am afraid," The truth, and she finds herself calming as the words leave her mouth. "I am afraid for you."
His eyes widen at that. "For me?" He whispers, then he softly laughs. "For what reason? Is he powerful?" He jokes.
She awkwardly chuckles, "Y-yes, very. I'm sure he'd kill you to keep me…"
Takemaru releases a boastful laugh, "Please, beloved, do not worry about what he can do to me," He takes her hands and holds them to his unarmored chest. "There is nothing that will keep me from you, my lady."
She tries to give him a reassuring smile, but she knows her own truth. Takemaru has always been kind to her, but… She doesn't love him. No matter the gifts, the flirting, the compliments, the devotion; none of it matters!
Because she loves him.
Her dearest General of the Western Lands.
Keep us safe, Toga.
A name, a name, a NAME! He needs a damned name! He had his most trusted soldiers go to each and every general stationed near or in his village and threatened every single one of them to confess.
For whoever laid his filthy, perverted hands upon his darling Izayoi will suffer greatly.
For surely, she did not agree to it? She seems to worry for him, and she smiles so prettily at him, thanking him for all of his hard work, his bravery. When he unashamedly courts with her in private (for she is his betrothed), she sports a lovely blush and acts in such an innocent manner… She couldn't possibly throw herself to one of his own generals!
He hardly thinks she even knows anything about the heat of passionate lovemaking. He wanted to show her all he knew, for he's many years older than the girl; she likely hasn't even seen her seventeenth year. She was once a lovely virgin, ripe for the picking.
But someone beat him to it.
He went to her many times to ask for the name of the man whose child she bears, but she refused every time. Not wanting to stress the poor woman, he dropped the topic, and he had it seen that she be taken care of by the best of healers.
She told him she was grateful, and to his delight, she brought up something he hoped she would. "Takemaru-sama, with this child, I must ask, do you still wish to wed me?"
He had smiled at her, taking a delicate pale hand and kissing it. "I would never dream of letting you go, my dearest maiden."
She had smiled, but he could tell it didn't quite reach her eyes. It looked… Forced. She told him she was feeling tired, her body waning under the weight of the babe she carried. And so the conversation had ended.
And she didn't thank him.
"When will you take me, love?" Izayoi doesn't hesitate to break the calm silence. She felt safest like this, held by his strong, broad form. He could crush her in an instant, and yet he held her like his most precious gem. "I fear for our lives here." She adds softly.
"Nonsense," His deep voice reverberates throughout her small body. "He says he… Loves," A jealous growl leaves his throat at the word. He starts again, "If he loves you like he says he does, why would he hurt you?"
"Because he doesn't know!" She softly raises her voice and leans back from him to look into his golden eyes. "I know how he feels about youkai, and I already gave away that my lover was a general. Then I heard from a few guards that were sent to protect me from my 'violator' that he had threatened to torture all of his generals to find who 'deflowered' me!"
"So, what? You think he can hurt me?" He grins cockily, his sharp fangs sending a shiver down her spine. Not from fear, no, but from the memory of a very sweaty, rough, and passion-filled night. He had used his fangs in such pleasant ways…
She's brought out of her momentary reverie when he growls softly, and he leans forward to capture his woman's lips with his own. After a few moments wrought with deep, but gentle kisses, he pulls back, Izayoi feeling like jelly in his arms. "Now, what could my little mortal wife possibly be imagining to bring about such a delicious aroma?" He purrs.
"I'm not your wife," She retorts breathlessly.
He gives her a soft smile this time, pulling her to him to give her a single peck on her forehead. "You are to me," He replies.
Oh, Kami, how she loved this man.
They had met her first night in this village, much further west than her own. She wanted to run away, for she did not love this stranger! She knew he was obsessed with her, just from the way he eyed her, the way he became jealous by any other man who leered at her, and the way that he always told her that he'd 'never let her go'.
She was dressed in a simple sleeping yukata, deciding that she would off and go find another village, far from here. One that he could never find her at.
It wasn't until she started getting tired that she needed to stop and rest. It was a cool spring night, and the ground was chillier than she expected. Despite this, she sat herself up against a tree, facing a clearing in the dense forest around her.
Part of her feared a youkai appearing and trying to eat her, but another part of her truly felt that it was a better fate than a one-sided marriage.
Was she exaggerating? Maybe just a little. But she didn't care.
I don't care, was her last thought before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
She awoke at dawn, the sun's rays already beginning to warm her chilled skin. She began rubbing her arms and socked feet to warm herself.
"Don't go getting sick now."
She screamed and scrambled away from the tree she had rested upon. "Who-who's there?!" She shouted. An amused chuckle reached her ears as a tall form jumped out of the tree and landed behind her. She whirled around, ready to pick a fight if need be. But when her eyes met the strange newcomer, she lost her will completely.
He was confused at her manner, but smiling. "Easy now, I won't hurt you," She was struck speechless by his eyes first, such an odd shade, and cat-like pupils, nonetheless! Her dark eyes roamed him from head to toe. Jagged violet marks rested upon his cheeks, and his silver hair was tied up into a high tail. He leaned forward and sniffed her suddenly, and she shrunk back a bit. "Why, you're only human! When I first saw you, I was sure you were a goddess of some kind."
And he winked, a smirk plastered upon his smug, tanned, handsome face…
Her face flushed in both embarrassment and shyness, "How d-dare you be so bold!"
He cocked a brow at her show of temper, the young woman almost the complete opposite of his current wife. "Now, now, there's no need to throw a tantrum." He teased.
At the time, he found her fun. Amusing. Before then, he never showed interest in humans, or even cared much, for that matter. Somehow, they started talking, almost casually. She explained her situation when he asked what a human was doing wandering around here, and he managed to convince her to return to the palace.
"Maybe I'll see you again sometime?" He didn't know why he said it. She intrigued him. He'd never met a woman so soft, delicate, gentle…
Hisakei was cold towards him. Their "lovemaking" sessions were nothing more than a quick bang to take off the edge of a stressful day. It quite angered him with how similar Sesshomaru was to his mother, but it didn't surprise him. She was the woman of the court, not much of a fighter; apathetic and hard-hearted. Toga favored a good battle, and he chose to do what he deemed right with meetings between other youkai clans. She often had to take over and settle the dispute herself.
She did love him, if that was what you'd call it. More so she fancied him, possibly his strength and looks are what drew her, but not his status. They were both royal pure-bloods. Daiyoukai, specifically. He cared for her, as one would a wife, but he yearned for some kind of emotional connection, and she couldn't provide it for him. Their marriage was arranged when they were young, young even by youkai standards.
Before Izayoi left the clearing (after he pointed out which way she should go), she turned to him to answer, a smile slowly spreading across her face, "Maybe you will."
He had come through here for old time's sake, wanting to see how much the area had changed in the last century or so. He was surprised to only find a nearby human village and more trees than usual. He was glad. This place was special to him.
It was the place where he had first shown Sesshomaru how to transform into his dog form, a proud moment as a father. It held a memory of his son before he was the selfish, emotionless bastard he was now.
Little did he know that this place would become special to him for an entirely new reason.
She's terrified. Any day now, her child could be brought into this world. I have to tell him.
When that time comes, her husband will come and take her home. I must tell him.
She can't give birth in his fortress, he's sure none of the women would help her through labor. I must tell him.
So she will have her child here, in this human village that she has called 'home' for practically a year now. I have to warn him!
And when she does, her husband, her beloved, her beast, will descend upon this palace and take her and their child into his arms and flee. If I don't…
And she knows without a doubt, that only carnage will ensue if these humans do not run first. They'll die!
"Izayoi?"
She jumps at the sound of his voice, suddenly wishing that she could turn invisible. "Y-yes, my lord?" She turns to him, smiling warily, her hands attempting to soothe her by rubbing over the large bump, still noticeable despite the many layers of her jūnihitoe.
"Why are you walking around like that in the spring heat? Come, it is cooler inside." He places his hand upon her shoulder, gently leading her hobbling form inside the nearest shoji doors. As he closes the screen behind him, he looks as though he's about to start a conversation. She jumps in before that can happen.
"Takemaru, I must tell you something," She begins, her throat feeling parched.
He pauses, eyes wide, and slowly turns his head over and down to her.
She continues, trying to be formal, "It is very important for the safety of you and all the people who reside here."
Utterly surprised, for what could jeopardize the safety of his palace? — He nods for her to go on, "Yes?"
Before she loses her courage, she rushes out the first words that pop into her mind, "A youkai!"
He shifts, startled at her outburst, then immediately morphs himself into a protective stance. "A youkai? Is a youkai going to attack us? Where is it?"
"N-no, my lord, there is no youkai here," She stops his beginning tirade, her hands raised to calm him.
He frowns deeply. "Then what do you mean by 'youkai'? Explain."
She flinches at his tone, already regretting her near future. She utters five words to him, and these mere five words bring upon disaster for the young mother. She bows her head, her voice meek, "A youkai general, my lord."
She told him to forget about her, the whore! She played along like he had a chance, but really, she was off rutting with a youkai.
A youkai general, oh the sneaky bitch!
He feels as though part of his mind began to bend, nearly snapping at the moment she said the youkai was going to take her far away. Territorial almost. MINE, his mind screamed.
He continued to swear to protect her, he would fight this youkai, he'd gather all his guards and priests to keep him out and kill the disgusting creature!
He didn't even care about the child anymore, he'd slaughter it with his bare hands as soon as it leaves the womb.
As he was trailing off his frenzied rant, she had spoken once again. "Please, Takemaru. If you do that, everyone will surely die."
And when he turned to fire back his disagreement, he saw it. Something he had been striving to see in her eyes since he'd first saw her.
Love.
And that's when he realized it.
She was in love with this beast.
His mind snapped.
Izayoi reclines along her futon, her baby being restless in her womb. She laughs when the child kicks back after she poked her currently bare belly. "My! A feisty one you'll be!"
The love she feels for this babe is something she has never experienced before, and she'll be damned before any harm comes to them. She's excited to see them soon.
Thankfully, Takemaru handled the situation… Oddly well.
He had smiled after turning towards her and said, "My apologies, dearest, it will be done."
Then he left without another word.
She sighs, her eyes growing heavy again. She spent most of today resting, the muscles in her abdomen spasming and tightening painfully. The most skilled midwife was to be her helper, and when Izayoi had spoken of her slight pains, Kiyoko ordered her women to prep the birthing room immediately.
And so, here she is, resting in the birthing room, waiting for the moment that she'll see her lovely child's face.
I wonder which one of us they'll look like?
She laughs, picturing a tiny version of Toga.
"Something funny, Izayoi-sama?" The small voice reminds her that she's not alone.
She smiles at the flea youkai resting on her shoulder, facing away from her to respect her privacy. Her lord's vassal was sent here to go fetch the dog general as soon as the she went into labor. "Just wondering who the baby will look like, Myoga."
"Well, in my opinion, either one would leave the child blessed by the Kami themselves!" He chuckles.
"Oh, hush!" She laughs, but coughs as she's caught off guard by another spasm. She hisses at the uncomfortable feeling, and for a moment, remembers that infants are born in blood, sweat, and tears.
Maybe she's hoping for this time to pass too fast.
The pain isn't all that horrible now. Kiyoko talks to her, showing her how to breathe. Myoga left not too long ago.
For some reason, he seemed to be in a rush. Sure, he's tiny, and it might take him a while to get all the way out to their clearing, but labor often takes hours, right?
"I'll be right back, my lady." Kiyoko swiftly exits her curtained area, her bare feet thudding against the wooden floorboards.
Izayoi continues to practice her breathing, her body beginning to strain. Is it happening too fast? And where is Kiyoko?! After only a minute or so of worrying, she begins to try and rest her eyes, focusing on the future, and not the pain she feels now. In the back of her foggy mind, she hears slow, heavy thuds nearing the room.
"Izayoi…"
She's brought back to the here and now at the sound of his voice, and another contraction forces a gasp from her throat. She strains to speak, "Takemaru? Please, you all must leave at once! Your men cannot defeat him! Only… Only Kiyoko can be here."
"My lady," His voice sounds strange, or maybe it's just her pain-blinded mind? "You know that normally I would do anything for you, but I am fully aware that your heart and body have been stolen from me by that monstrous beast. If I cannot have you, then no one can."
She screams as a spear pierces her right side, lodging itself just under her rib. Despite the pain, her mind flows down a different path, to her horrified thoughts. He knew! He knew this whole time! He planned this!
She tries to open her eyes, her vision blurred by tears. She wails as a worse contraction hits her. What can she do? She's alive, been stabbed, and in labor. With no midwife!
Damn this! She wants to scream, and in a sudden rush of anger, simply because of her situation, she grabs the handle of the spear and yanks.
She nearly blacks out from the pain ricocheting through her body, but another contraction forces her awake.
That's right. She has a baby to take care of.
She tries taking deep breaths through the pain, her face stained with tears and blood.
I wonder who they'll look like?
She really wants to know. Will the baby have their father's honey eyes, or her shade of midnight? His silver hair, or her ebony locks?
She'd rather die than never know.
And she's not dead yet.
Without any hesitance, Toga strikes down any man that stands in his way. The priests, the samurai, and my oh my, the daimyō of Setsuna himself.
His wife and child are in danger, and he'll be damned before he loses either of them!
He begins running through the mansion, sniffing this way and that, his keen ears listening for the slightest of hints as to where they could be.
He finally catches it when a shrill cry rings out from the west wing. He runs for it, not even caring about screens or wooden beams. He reaches the surrounding halls and begins smelling Izayoi's blood. Damn it all!
He reaches her room and rams himself through the screen. "Izayoi!" He shouts his beloved's name upon noticing the torn curtain and the bloodied spear beside her. He leaps over to her curled up form and tosses the canopy away.
A wiggling form makes itself known in her arms, softly whimpering, similar to a young pup's. Her face is frozen in a pained smile.
He quickly unsheathes Tenseiga and slashes the carriers of the underworld. Her face contorts strangely as they dissipate, her wounds from the spear and childbirth healing instantly. She opens her eyes and slowly turns her head to face him, relief filling her as she sees his eyes' inhuman golden glow.
He takes out what will soon be a gift for his child, a fire red cloth that he drapes around the head of his human wife.
"He looks like you," She says softly, a single tear trailing down her cheek.
"So he does," He murmurs. "Who… Who did the birthing?" He asks, looking around. A bloody cloth dipped in a red tinted water bowl catches his eye, so surely the child must have been cleaned, and even now the newborn is swaddled in a clean white cloth, his hair clear of any red.
"I did," She says proudly, her face beaming. His jaw nearly drops, for he saw her wounds himself. "I wanted to see him, I wanted to see him so much! When he- when he came out I couldn't tell much, and he was so dirty. So I… I cleaned him, and I held him to me," She closes her eyes, more tears starting to stream down her face. "I was so happy, so so happy." She sobs.
His own eyes begin to burn, and he resists the urge to pull his child and his bloodstained mother into his arms. His armor would not be the most comfortable thing to rest upon. He instead takes her by the arms and helps her stand, easily picking up her small form in his arms, and he begins walking, his son nestled against Izayoi's chest.
His son.
He looks down at his youngest, noticing two furry ears atop his full head of short silver hair.
Would he dare give his child a name reflecting only part of his race?
Indeed, he would. Maybe it would make him feel connected to that part of himself?
And he would need something else, of course, naming your child 'dog' would just be cruel.
As his world becomes relit by the moonlight, he realizes that he had been walking through the forest, thinking.
They begin to enter the clearing where they first met, and their monthly rendezvous point.
"What do you think?" He mutters casually.
"Huh?" She attempts to rub the tiredness from her eyes and focus on the man before her. "Of what?"
"His name. I was thinking something with dog, for him to link himself to. I'd like to hear what you think," He looks down and smiles warmly at her blushing face.
"I-I'm honored you'd bestow me the right to do so," She's surprised when he softly chuckles.
"Izayoi, there is no need to be so formal with me. Now tell me, what can you picture our son doing in his future?"
Her face aflame, she gives him a giddy smile, humming to herself. "I see him… Being a protector, like you," She says dreamily.
"Do you think he'd like forests as much as I do? Palace life is much too dull," His voice full of mirth, he shifts her body to kiss her forehead.
She giggles, "I'd think he would, if he'd be anything like you!"
At this he stops. "And what of you, love? Do you know what he will have of you?"
She furrows her brows in question, not sure what to answer. "I… I'm not sure…"
"I'll tell you what," His eyes stare into her own, brimming with determination and utter adoration. "He will have your strength to power through whatever he may face, simply because he wants to. He will have your kind heart, protecting his loved ones and even those who show him ill will. And he will never back down from whatever challenge this world throws at him. He will be like us and more, Izayoi. Remember your own worth, for he carries it, too."
He leans his head down to rest his forehead against hers, shifting his hold to gently wipe her fresh tears away.
"Inuyasha…" She whispers.
He sucks in a breath as he backs his head away from the small maiden in his arms, her eyes looking up at him. Her dark eyes reflect the stars above them, and with their son in her arms, he can't help but feel that it was this. This is what he has been needing in his life.
And he will treasure them more than anything.
"Yes, Izayoi, let's take Inuyasha home."
A/N Tell me what you guys think! I hope you like it!
