January faded delicately in a blur of blue-white snow and bleary sunrises. Remus, who had earlier watched snowflakes dance through indigo skies to blanket the browning earth, observed the thick drifts thaw as the pallid sun warmed. He had become oddly passive and dejected, the world reflecting shallowly in his watery blue eyes. A strange sadness had come over him, creeping softly like the blackened fingers of night. Although not miserable, the sheepish grin that had once crept so easily across his face now felt unfamiliar and false. Laughter now spilled bitterly over his lips like molten iron. He had gradually felt his heart harden, felt the bitterness and loneliness creeping in, but found his discontentedness mysterious and perplexing.
Remus sighed and sank back into the armchair in which he was seated, averting his gaze from the window. He looked impassively at the fire blazing in front of him, pondering his loneliness and attempting to trace his acrimony back. He presumed it had all started with Delia. He had sensed the danger lurking around her since when she had first flounced into Sirius's life, dusky gold hair glinting softly in the subdued light. She was entirely unlike the others who desired him; where they were dependent and frivolous, she was coy and sardonic.
He could feel Sirius falling in love with her; he knew Sirius was going to ask her out before the other even began to fathom his feelings for her. James was the first to complain about Sirius's constant absence; his restlessness was aggravated incredibly by his best friend's absence. He, therefore, followed Sirius's example and began spending all of his time with Lily Evans. At first, Peter tried talking to Remus, but he was greeted with cold indifference and knowingly kept his distance.
Love makes fools of us all, Remus mused bitterly. He had come to realize that he was envious of the emotion that had caused him such misfortune. He envied the careless swagger in Sirius's walk, how recklessly he laughed, how content his smile was when he was looking at Delia. He envied how nothing else mattered to him as he floated blissfully above his melancholy friends, who observed his flight from the decaying earth.
With James, Remus was indifferent. He missed his company, but he knew how much Lily meant to him. Besides, both preferred Sirius's company to that of the others'. In truth, their friendship was strengthened by the knowledge that they liked each other second best, for it eliminated competition. However, Remus couldn't help but feel that Sirius preferred James to him, and jealousy tore at his heart. He couldn't offer Sirius the reckless companionship that James did, but their strong bond left him feeling isolated.
Remus rose irritably and briskly strode from the common room, making his way down the stairs. Anger had crept into the corners of his eyes, overtaking him slowly as he walked down the stairs towards the entrance. Throwing open the main door, he glided swiftly to the tree by the frozen ebony lake under which he and his friends often sat in warmer weather. He sighed and leaned against its rough and gray trunk, closing his eyes and breathing in the crisp air. His eyes fluttered open; he had calmed considerably. He gazed across the lake, his anger at Sirius gently waning. He was being ridiculous— if Sirius was in love, it didn't matter, Remus told himself: that should have nothing to do with their friendship. It had nothing to do with his and James's. However, he pondered, he had always enjoyed being with Sirius more, so his disappearance should mean more.
Well, not as much as it does, he considered. I don't like Sirius that much more than James. He should like James better, he realized; Sirius was reckless and foolish, dark and oddly intoxicating. He was dangerous and corruptive from his softly vigilant silver eyes to his wry smile. The wry smile that only he could detect softness in…
Suddenly with startling clarity Remus realized the real source of his sadness, his loneliness, his envy. He slumped against the tree and slid down, dark robes puddling in the balding snow.
I'm in love with him, he sat bewildered, staring without seeing towards the horizon.
Love has made yet another fool.