Authors Note: This takes place in the summer of the fourth book. Grimauld Place.
"Hey Remus, remember when we were younger?" I said to him, the darkness of the dining room swallowing us whole. He sat across me staring at the the table, still, but I could tell he was listening. There was just a difference in his breathing pattern that I had always seemed to pick up. While paying attention, his breaths were quick, almost like he couldn't breathe, and when he day dreamt, he was finally calm. It took him a while before he spoke, his response slow and delayed, like he was taking a memory from deep within himself.
"Yeah, I remember. You were always making me do something stupid, like climbing out of the Whomping Willow and going into Hogsmeade," his eyes were always what captured my attention, and even then in the dark as I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him, they glowed. Even after all the shit that had happened, his eyes were still the youngest part of him.
Since way back, when we first became friends I had been transfixed in his stare, and I'd watched it slowly lose only its innocent luster. There had always been a certain sadness inside that never came out, no matter how many times I had seen him smile, laugh, and joke. It seemed like nothing could remove that thorn of misery from within him.
I laughed it off, trying to ignore the way he kept getting thinner, the way he seemed to never get any sleep. I didn't want to think about the pain he felt in his transformations; I could never have seen that one coming before we figured it out. Instead of saying anything about it though, I kept the easy flow of casual conversation. It was so rare to have moments like this with him anymore, so few were the times he chose to come downstairs to drink and remenincse at night, instead of his damn reading. I smiled at him, hoping he'd see what it meant to me, hoping he'd realize how hurt I was. He chuckled, "Remember why we did stupid things though? We had to impress girls. You'd never back off of any challenge, especially when James would play…You know, you're still kind of like that. Reckless," I saw him smile in the dark, and figured I could live with that image. I didn't want to fall asleep thinking of how everyday a piece of him faded away.
He sipped the rest of his Firewhiskey off and started up the stairs again.
"I'm not afraid to die..." I couldn't tell if he heard me or not.