I was listening to go country today and I heard the song and it just got my wheels turning! Hope you enjoy it!
EPOV
I had come home late again from the studio and as soon as I opened the door I could hear her crying. My wife was always crying, and I had no idea why because she wouldn't speak to me anymore. It had started just over three months ago when I came home from my tour. I sighed and I went to the room and opened the door just enough to watch her.
She was shaking with every sob. I slipped into the room taking off my shoes as I went. "Bella? Baby, why do you keep doing this" I sat on the bed and tried to pull her into my arms but she pushed me away and got out of bed running to the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.
I went the door and knocked. "Sweetheart. Talk to me. What happened while I was gone that makes you do this?" The sobs on the other side of the door got louder. "Bella, please."
A shaky no came from the behind the door and I sunk down to the floor. "Bella, I don't know what to do. You need to tell me what to do for you." The sobs continued and I got up and left the room. I went to the couch and sat down.
I sat there with my head in my hands for what felt like hours just thinking about Bella and what could have happened to her. What could have done this to the happy woman that left in the middle of my tour because she promised my sister Alice she'd be there for the birth of my niece. She was so excited.
Then there was her constant silence. She used to tell me everything. What had we become? We certainly weren't happy together anymore. It was like we went through the motions of living and loving.
It hit it like a ton of bricks; a song. I went to the music room to begin writing the piece that was going through my head.
2 months later
I came out of what had used to be the music room to see Bella at the stove. I smelled the bacon, fried potatoes, and omelet that was my traditional first concert breakfast. I was surprised that she was making it with how our relationship had been the last months. When she said she wasn't going on tour with me I was so shocked I couldn't speak. There were just no words to express myself at that moment. I just remembered the first tour after we had gotten together and what she said. . .
I was checking that I had everything important because I'd be gone for three months. I walked through the house memorizing everything. I walked into the music room and saw the picture of Bella and smiled.
I'd only known the woman for a few months, but I knew she was 'the one'. The woman I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life proving that I loved her. I picked up the picture intending to put it in my music bag; the bag that never left except when I was on stage, but there was knock on my door.
"Who would come this late knowing that I was leaving tomorrow?" I said to myself as I went to open the door.
Bella greeted me by throwing herself into my arms and crashing her lips to mine. After what felt like forever I reluctantly pulled back from the kiss. "Bella, not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? I thought we said our good-byes earlier today."
She responded by going out the door and dragging in a suitcase and closing the door behind her. She smiled at me and gestured at the bag. I still hadn't gotten why she was there.
"Edward, you can't seriously not know why I'm here."
I shook my head and she sighed.
She sauntered up to me, put her arms around my neck, and lightly kissed my lips. "You, Edward Cullen are mine." She kissed me again. "And I defend what is mine."
I kissed her hard, putting my arms around her waist and pulling her harder against me. I pulled away again. "So you're coming with me?" She smiled and nodded her head and I picked her up spinning her round and round.
I stopped and looked into her eyes. "I love you Isabella Swan."
She met my gaze and said "I love you too Edward Cullen."
We kissed again.
Come to think of it, that picture of her never did make it into my bag that day, though it was there now. I sighed and rubbed my hands over my eyes. I had one more chance to convince her to stay with me and that was tonight.
I sat at the kitchen table and within seconds Bella had breakfast in front of me and had sat down in her usual spot across the table.
When the silence became unbearable I asked, "Bella, you're still coming to the concert tonight right?"
She looked up from her food and gave me a tentative smile. "When have I ever missed one Edward?" She looked back at her food and began to eat again.
After breakfast I got my things together to leave while Bella cleaned up. Usually I would have helped, but she waved me off today and it hurt. I put my bags by the door and went back to the kitchen.
"Babe, I have to go now." It didn't look like it even fazed her. "The guys will be here to pick up my bags about two and you need to be at the concert about four." I put her pass down on the table and went to stand next to her. "I'm leaving your pass here on the table." Still nothing. "Damn it Bella, say something!"
She turned around to look at me and I noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." I went to slip my arms around her, but she pushed me away again.
"I understand." She said precisely, "I'll be at the concert at four. Good-bye Edward." She walked out of the kitchen and into the bedroom quietly closing the door behind her.
I was out of ideas, I really didn't know what to do anymore. If my plan didn't work, I would just have to leave my Bella because I didn't know how to keep her anymore.
I went out the door slamming it behind me.
BPOV
Edward left. He left. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks but couldn't bother myself to wipe them away. I had driven my husband away from me because
I didn't know how to tell him what had torn a hole in my chest all the months ago.
There had been so much blood, and he hadn't been there because I left him to be with Alice. I shuddered and pulled myself away from those thoughts.
I got up off my bed, for really I had been the only one sleeping there for months. He hadn't slept on the bed since the night I locked myself in the bathroom and refused to speak with him. I just couldn't control the tears that night and I had sobbed until nothing came out anymore and even then I couldn't stop.
I knew I was hurting him, but this was hurting just as much if not more. I should have told him as soon as it had happened, but I had rationalized with myself. He would come running home to me, cancelling the rest of the tour to be with me here, it was what I had truly needed at the time, but if he had cancelled then, he would have never been signed to tour again. I knew how much meeting his fans ment to him and I just couldn't make the call.
But then I didn't tell him when he came home either; I just cried. I cried for five months without telling him what's going on in my head, in my heart. I just didn'y know what to do anymore.
I walked out of the room and went to the music room. I sat on the couch and picked up his pillow inhaling his honey-sandalwood scent. The tears came again and I cried.
It seemed like hours later when the tears stopped and I picked myself up off the couch. In that moment I decided that I wouldn't let him leave tonight without knowing what had happened and without me. I ran back to my closet and packed up a bag dropping it off with Edward's by the door.
I picked up my concert pass caressing the name Edward always had them print 'Mrs. Edward Cullen'. I never got tired of being called Mrs. Cullen or Bella Cullen. I put the pass in my pocket and wrote a quick note to Emmett and Jasper telling them to use the spare key and that the bags were by the door.
After locking the door behind me and taping the note to the door I called Alice. She picked up after the third ring. "Alice, I need your help getting ready tonight."
She simply said, "About time you got out of that house." And hung up after saying she'd meet me at her condo and she had to get some things ready.
Thank God for Alice.
EPOV
It was 6:30 and I walked out on the stage. I gotten confirmation Bella showed up at four, but Newton kept me so busy I couldn't go see her. Speak to her. My song was my last chance.
I made it through the entire performance getting more and more anxious as it went on. What if it didn't work? What if she really had stopped loving me? I didn't know what to do, so I put thoughts of failure out of my mind and put my plan into action.
"My last song of the evening is a question to someone here tonight, we haven't really been talking recently so I hope she can give me an answer."
I started to sing. . .
BPOV
I got to the concert at four as scheduled and when I asked to speak to my husband I was told by the stage manager Mike Newton that he had too much to do before he went on at 6:30 to speak to me then.
I was frustrated, but knew it was no good to argue with the idiot the record company hired to manage Edward's shows. I sighed and found my usual spot and pledged to enjoy myself until I could talk to Edward after the show.
I was anxious when he announced the last song, but was confused about what he said. The song was a question to me obviously because he said that he wasn't really talking to the person. I became scared. What could he possibly ask me in front of a public audience?
Then the music started. . .
Baby, what are we becoming?
It feels just like we're always running
Rolling through the motions everyday
I can lean in to hold you, or act like I don't even know you?
Seems like you could care less either way
What happened to that girl I used to know?
I just want us back to the way we were before
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love? Am I still enough?
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?
Baby, do I?
Remember when we didn't have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of loving?
Baby those sure were the days
There was a time our love ran wild and free
But now I'm second guessing everything I see
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love, am I still enough?
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?
Baby, do I
Still give you what you need?
Still take your breath away?
Or light up the spark way down deep, baby do I?
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby?
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?
Do I have your love, am I still enough?
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?
Tell me baby do I get one more try?
Do I, baby do I?
By the second verse I was on the right wing of the stage crying, waiting for him to finish and come back stage. I had an answer for his question, hopefully the one he wanted.
EPOV
The tears were slowly coming down my face as I finished the song. I took a deep breath and looked to the wings on the stage and there she was on the right side, waiting for me, just like she always had.
I smiled at her and then spoke into the microphone, "Bella Cullen, will you meet me on this stage here?"
I looked at her and she was shaking her head. "Baby, come on it wouldn't be the first time you've been up here on stage." She shook her head again. "Then Baby, I'm coming to get you."
I ran to her, wrapped my arms around her waist and carried her to the stage. I put the microphone back on its stand and looked at my wife; absorbing her smiling face and her tears. "Well Bella," I said gently, keeping my arms around her, "can we make this work? Do you still love me?"
I held my breath waiting for her answer. Her smile became blinding and she nodded her head, and then she kissed me.
I became so absorbed in that kiss that the band, the crowd, the stage workers, they all disappeared until we broke the kiss and remembered where we were. She blushed scarlet and I kissed both of her cheeks. "Was that a yes Bella."
"Yes Edward, I even packed a bag to go with you."
I smiled at that and turned toward the audience grabbing the microphone as I went. "You've been an awesome crowd this evening! Thanks for coming out!"
Keeping one arm around Bella's waist we walked off the stage. Working our way through the crowd that had gathered at the wings, we made our way to my dressing room locking the door firmly behind us.
"Now, Bells, what made that necessary? I know you may not want to talk about it, but it drove such a wedge between us that it needs to be out in the open."
She took a deep breath like she always would before she said something important. She had such a haunted look in her brown eyes when she opened her mouth. "Before I start, would you sit and hold me please?"
I couldn't deny her, so I nodded my head, sat on the couch, and opened my arms to her. She sat on my lap and I slipped my arms around her. "Okay Sweetheart, what is it you need to say?"
"It was about a month after I left you in Texas. I was out shopping with Alice when the pain started, so I just popped a couple aspirin. The pain didn't go away. I started bleeding just after I got home." She was sobbing again so I pulled her in closer to me. "There was just so much blood Edward and it just wouldn't stop and I was getting so dizzy so I called 911 and when I said what was happening they sent an ambulance. I passed out on the way to the hospital and when I woke up in a bed the doctor was sitting beside me. He looked so sad, and I didn't understand. He told me I had a miscarriage."
I understood then, why she had been crying for months, why occasionally I would catch her touching her abdomen and beginning to sob. We were going to have a baby, but she had lost it. She kept going, "I was pregnant, about two and a half months along and I didn't even know! And then I lost it!"
"Bella, why didn't you call me? I would've been at your side as fast as I could!"
"That's the point! You would have come as fast as you could possible get there, but you love going on tour and seeing your fans' reaction to your music first hand, and had you cancelled the tour then you would never have been able to go on another one. And then when you got home, I just didn't know how to tell you and then it just snowballed."
I tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at me. "Do you love me?"
"Of course!"
"Then there'll be other children."
"Okay." She said. I took it to mean that everything between us would be okay.
We sat in silence for a while, peaceful in the knowledge we had fixed what was wrong with us.
"I love you Bella Cullen."
"I love you too Edward Cullen."
And all was right with my world again.
And that's the end folks. . . I decided not to add an epilogue to this one, and just to leave it up to your imaginations, you know that thing that a lot of kids don't have anymore?
ciao,
natalight