A/N: PREFACE

-C

"What House were you in then, 'Dora?" Sirius asked the vibrant young girl, the daughter of his favorite cousin.

"Hufflepuff," responded the girl, who preferred to be referred to by her surname, Tonks.

"Ah, Moony dated a Hufflepuff once," Sirius said with a smug sort of smile.

Remus glowered at him.

"She wasn't just a Hufflepuff–"

"And by 'dated' I mean 'worshipped'," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "Truly, the two were absolutely attached at the hip. Her name was Lyric."

"Lyric," Remus said, a little wistfully. He hadn't thought of her in so long. "Lyric Braelyn Swanson."

"That's a beautiful name," Tonks muttered. "Why couldn't my mum have given me such a beautiful name?"

"Because she's a Black, 'Dora," Sirius said with a smirk. "Black women do silly things when it comes to naming their daughters. Look at my poor old mum. Who names a child 'Walburga' and expects them to develop into a well-adjusted adult? Anyway, I hadn't thought of Lyric in a while, actually."

"No," Remus whispered. "I don't imagine that you would have. Even I hadn't thought of her in years."

"If you don't mind me asking," Tonks piped in curiously, "what happened?"

An awkward silence fell on the room. The fate of Lyric Swanson had been all over the papers. Tonks was too young to have read about it, too young to remember it. Had it been an isolated incident, she might have grown up hearing it as the horror story of what happens to someone who gets involved with the wrong sorts, but it was written off as a casualty of war, just like almost every other tragedy from those years.

"She died," Sirius said softly. "During the war, she was killed. Murdered, actually. It was a horrible thing."

Remus was aware of the worried look Sirius was giving him, but he didn't acknowledge it. He was lost in memories. Lyric on the Hogwarts Express. Lyric basking in the sun, sprawled out on the Hogwarts lawn. Lyric with foam all over her face from a butterbeer downed too quickly. Lyric dancing at one of the post-Quidditch parties. Lyric laughing. Oh, what a beautiful laugh, throwing her head back, letting her beautiful sound of glee fill the air. He had been stupid. He had ruined her.

But for a moment, for just a brief, fleeting moment, Remus had been so truly, incredibly happy. And for that moment of happiness, he would forever pay for the guilt of her demise. No one would ever convince him otherwise. He had been the reason for her tragic fate. He had allowed her too close, had let her in against his better judgment. It was not a mistake he would ever make again. Being loved was not worth the cost of losing someone so precious.

/-/

"You're getting rather close with my baby cousin, Moony."

He knew exactly what Sirius was referring to, but he ignored the statement, continuing to read the book his nose was buried it. It had been a mistake. It had been lovely, but allowing Tonks so close had been a mistake. He had been down that path before. He was not willing to go there again.

"She makes me think a bit of Lyric, you know."

Remus twitched. No. She was nothing like Lyric. Lyric had been perfect, an angel, a goddess… Tonks was lovely, but she would never, ever be Lyric. Nobody could ever replace Lyric.

"I mean, she's related to me, so that's obviously a point in her favor, but–"

Remus had slammed his book down without realizing it. Sirius frowned a little.

"I thought you were past that, Moony. Lyric was great. She was brilliant. I was an idiot, yeah, and a jerk. But she wasn't a saint. You're just feeling too much survivor's guilt to see her clearly, but it's been more than a decade. It's time to let that go."

"If you say another word," Remus said, dangerously quiet, "I'm going to drag you out onto the street and summon the Auror's myself. Is that understood?"

A flicker of a fear so intense Remus almost shuddered flashed in the grey eyes just recently free of the haunting of Azkaban, but never to be back to their former luster. It had been a harsh rebuking for a harmless pointing out of something Remus already knew so intuitively. Lyric had not been perfect. She had had many faults, the worst of which was being in love with a monster like him. But after what he had done to her, after what Sirius had done to her, after the horrific end she had met, he couldn't bring himself to remember her as anything but the angel he had always dreamed her as, the saint he had envisioned her to be before their lips had ever touched.

Her favorite book had been Anna Karenina. It was a Muggle story, very tragic, but she had always loved a tragic ending. He thought for a moment that she would have loved the story of her own demise, had anyone had the foresight to turn it into a play worthy of Chekov. He could almost hear her critical voice in his mind: "The only problem is that nobody shot themselves!"

She had read Anna Karenina every year from fourth year on. He knew she liked it very much, so he asked his mother what it was about. Then, in an attempt to get to know Lyric better, he had asked her why she felt the need to reread a woman throwing herself in front of a train every year. She had laughed.

"That part is nice," she admitted, "but my favorite part of the novel is one of the subplots, the story of Kitty and Levin. I think it's the most beautiful love story in the world."

And there was nothing for it then. Remus had to read it for himself, and the more he read of the attempts of Levin to court the beautiful Kitty, the more he realized that this man, this simple country man, was viewing the gorgeous princess in the way Remus viewed Lyric: She could do no wrong.

Reality spoiled a bit of Levin's romanticized view of his beloved, as it also spoiled Remus's view of Lyric, but the love never died. Even as Remus sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, his heart still ached to think of Lyric writhing beneath him, embracing him so tightly that her fingernails pierced his skin.

Kissing Tonks had been a mistake, just as letting Lyric love him had been a mistake, but oh, what a beautiful mistake both had been.

A/N: This is probably the beginning of a new 'career' as a Remus/OC writer. I'm sorry for those of you who liked my Sirius/OC stories. I will finish them, for I love each story as if it were a child of mine, but I just don't love Sirius anymore. He was useful for telling the stories I needed and wanted to tell, and I loved him once, but I have grown up, moved on, and Remus is the new love of my life. I hope you will continue this journey with me, and for those of you who are newly discovering my work, welcome aboard! If you like this and want to read my earliest Remus work, read I'm Not Alright, which is a non-romantic Sirius/OC that is actually a romantic Remus/OC. The focus of the story is her friendship with Sirius, but she is in love with Remus and there will be NO SIRIUS SMUT in that story. Cheers!

UPDATE: Okay, so I'm not JUST a Remus/OC writer anymore…. I've branched out in all sorts of directions and I encourage you to check out ALL my work. :D Enjoy!

-C