Whoohoo! This is my first fic ever. I'm really new at this. REALLY new at this. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but please don't leave a comment like "that story sucks! I hate you!" If you do not specify what it is that makes my story sucky and makes you hate me, I can't do anything about that. So...Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cursed Hair

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there was a young prince named Ephraim. One bright, sunny day, Prince Ephraim decided to go for a walk in his beautiful kingdom. But he forgot that in a nearby peak lived an evil witch: Evil Witch Lute. Now Evil Witch Lute hated Ephraim. He had once laughed at her striped stockings. And as he approached down the golden road, in a golden chariot, dressed in pure gold, and complaining about his heavy gold clothes, Evil Witch Lute knew this was her chance to have...REVENGE.

Stopping at a creek near the evil witch's lair, Ephraim hopped out of his golden carriage and fell to the ground, too weighed down by his golden apparel. Two soldiers helped him up. "I'm thirsty! I want some water!" the golden prince complained. A flustered soldier pointed at the creek next to his prince and stammered, "Um...my lord. Perhaps you could...look to your right?" "WHOA! A creek! You're getting a raise, Danduf." Ephraim exclaimed. "Danduf" flushed and decided not to tell the prince that his name was Derek. He wanted that raise.

While Ephraim gorged himself in the clear crystal water until he puked, Evil Witch Lute (the evil witch in this story, in case you've forgotten) hid behind a rock, wand at the ready. When Ephraim stopped puking, she jumped out and yelled, "HAIRFALLOUTITIS!" Ephraim screamed. Then he ran around in circles and screamed some more. Derek raised an eyebrow at the other knight. Then he and the other soldier hauled their gold-ridden and squealing prince into the golden carriage before riding back up the golden road. Evil Witch Lute twirled her wand expertly and smirked.

Back at his castle, Ephraim finally got the guts to ask, "What is hairfalloutitis?" The court mage looked uncomfortable. Ephraim poked him. "TELL ME!" The mage looked embarrassed now. "Well...the spell, err...makes your...hair fall out." Ephraim stared at him in disbelief. He could not afford to have his hair fall out. "Oh no..." he moaned. Then he composed himself like a good lord should do. "I will fix this!" he declared. Changing his expensive golden clothes into lighter traveling clothes, he wondered where to begin. Finally deciding on asking Evil Witch Lute herself, he skipped down the stairs and twisted his ankle. "OW!" he screamed. Then he got up and limped out the door. His father, King Fado shook his head disappointedly. His sister Eirika looked at her dad and asked, "Can I have a new brother?" Fado just massaged his temple. He had a splitting headache.

An hour later, Ephraim was hauling his swollen ankle down the golden road. He was also in a very irritable temper. Evil Witch Lute raised an eyebrow when the prince of Renais limped into her lair, sat down in her favorite thinking chair, and glared at her. "Yes? Can I help you?" the amused witch asked. "All right! Tellmehowtoliftthehairlosingcurseorillkillyou!" roared Ephraim in quite an unlordly manner. Lute tapped her ear towards him, indicating that she had not heard him. Ephraim took a deep calming breath that made his face a deep, calm crimson. "Tell me," he gritted through his teeth, "how to lift the stinking curse you put on me..." A lock of bright blue hair fell from his head. He sighed inwardly. The curse was coming into effect. Next to him on a stool, Lute was laughing so hard, she fell to the ground. Prince Ephraim sighed in his most sigh-ful manner. This was getting nowhere. Apparently, he'd have to figure this out himself.

"Daddy! Brother is home!" Eirika whined, nearly in tears. "I wish he'd just go away!" "Oh be quiet, you whiney girly." Ephraim taunted his sister as he hobbled into the throne room. His sister screamed, "Shut your mouth, I just can't take it!" The crown prince snickered as Eirika stomped into her room. King Fado just sighed. He had a headache again.

Late at night, Fado suddenly awake with a start. Was that the smell of something burning? He bolted out of bed and sprinted up the stairs. Yes. The distinct smell of burning hair drifted from Ephraim's closed bedroom door. "What the blazes is going on in here!" the king roared. He kicked open his son's door. Ephraim stood there with his head on fire, frozen in fear, as his hair burned and fell. Fado eyed the locks of bright blue hair on the ground and sighed yet again. Why did it seem that he had a constant headache? "Okay. Ephraim. Tell me-" Eirika burst into the room screaming. "Shut up!" Ephraim yelled. Eirika kept screaming. "Shut up!" Fado roared. Eirika stopped screaming. "Okay. Now Ephraim, please tell me why your head is on fire." "Well, I was mixing up potions to see if I could cure the curse by myself. One of them blew up and set me on fire!" Knoll, the court magician came in with a bucket of water and threw it over Ephraim's head. "...Gee thanks, Knoll." Ephraim dripped sarcastically. Knoll saluted smartly, "No problem, Prince." Fado rubbed his nose in irritation. "Ephraim, stop trying to cure this yourself. You are no mage, and you failed all your potions classes. You'll just kill yourself. Leave this to the court magicians." "But by the time they figure this out, I'll be BALD!" Eirika sniggered, "So?" "Shut up."

Ephraim followed his father's instructions for two weeks. After the 14th day, he couldn't take it anymore. "Look at me, Danduf! I'm almost bald!" Derek (a.k.a. "Danduf") glanced at the 15 strands of hair on his lord's head and stifled a grin. "Grr...This isn't going to work! Apparently, I have to solve this myself." The half bald prince growled.

Early the next morning (after Ephraim decided that he had to do everything himself), Fado woke to Eirika's ear-splitting scream. He moaned and stuffed his head in his pillow again. Eirika's screaming was now getting closer. The door was kicked open. "DAAAAAADDDDYYYYY!" Eirika cried gleefully. "Ephraim is gone!" She giggled. Her father, however, was less amused. He sat bolt upright in his frilly blue blankets. "WHAAAT?" Spit flew out of his mouth at an alarming rate. "Ephraim's gone! He's not in his bedroom and the servants can't find him anywhere!" The king leapt out of bed and sprinted down the hall to his son's room, completely forgetting that he was naked except for his pink heart boxers.

In the missing prince's bedroom, Knoll was waiting for his lord. King Fado rushed into the room. Knoll turned and bowed politely. "My lord, I am sorry but...GAAAAAAAHHH! MY EYES!" He then promptly fainted. Fado was confused. "What? Sheesh...I'm just..." He looked down. "...In quite the undignified state of undress. Oh dear." This was not turning out to be a good day.

And indeed Ephraim wasn't in the castle. He had stolen Knoll's magical remedy book and written down every possible cure for a hair-decreasing curse. So list in hand, he had brought some food and set out to restore his hair.

The first thing on the list was a white crocodile's tooth. Ephraim thought for a while. He remembered hearing his father say something to King Hayden about white crocodiles in the water hole. The water hole...that was a little north of here! The prince hefted his traveling sack onto his shoulder and started walking in that direction...

Ephraim reached the water hole after losing his way twice. He regretted not taking a map along with him now. But no matter, he had more important things on his mind. He began to push his way through the undergrowth. He knew he had finally reached the end when he pulled back a bush and came face to face with a sleeping crocodile. Ephraim screamed. Then he clapped a hand over his mouth and attempted to back up. However, he was now stuck between two clumps of thick bushes. Ephraim watched in horror as the pure white croc yawned, opening its enormous mouth, the sunlight reflecting off of glistening sharp teeth. The crocodile opened its blood red eyes and moved closer.

His attempt at retrieving a white crocodile's tooth had resolved in him almost losing an arm. He had failed to get a fairy wing, a bottle of pure water, the hair of a mermaid, and the scale of a dragon. Now the only thing left on his list was "finger of a trespagolb." What the heck was a trespagolb anyway? Ephraim shook his head. It was hopeless. He would always be bald. He rubbed his thinning scalp sadly and headed toward the neighboring kingdom of Grado. Maybe his friend Lyon would let him stay the night.

Back at the castle, Fado paced the throne room. The revived Knoll sat behind him, watching him and twiddling his thumbs. "Where could that idiot boy have gone?" the king fretted. Knoll shrugged his shoulders and remembered that he was going to need a new spell book. "Hey Fa-I mean my lord," he quickly corrected himself. "Yes, Knoll?" the lord huffed. "Do you think I could obtain a new curse spell book? Mine seems to have gone missing..." Fado waved his hand impatiently, "Sure, sure...whatever you want...WAIT. What kind of spell book?" "A book on curses, my lord—I'm rather fond of them." Fado froze in his pacing. "Did Ephraim have access to your room anytime during the day?" Knoll frowned. "Access? I don't lock my door...so I suppose so. Why would you..." He trailed off, eyes wide. "You don't think that he—" Fado thought about what he was suggesting. "Well, I don't know." Knoll shook his head disbelievingly, "Those cures were much too dangerous for one man alone. Crocodiles and dragons... He couldn't have!"

Lyon was reading a book when the some guards escorted a balding man into the room. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "This man here says he's Prince Ephraim of Renais and that he wishes to see you, m'lord." One guard reported. Lyon finally recognized his friend. "Ephraim! What brings you here? ...And what happened to your hair?" Ephraim sighed and sunk down on the sofa next to his friend. Lyon motioned for the guards to leave and propped his elbows up to listen more comfortably. Ephraim began his tragic tale from beginning to end, making sure to put in extra details when describing how miserable he was. When he was finished, he was shocked to find Lyon struggling though a fit of giggles. "What's so funny?" he demanded. Lyon shook his head. "Oh, Ephraim. You should have come to me immediately! The curse was invented as a joke and the cure is quite simple: apple juice." Ephraim looked at Lyon blankly as if HE were a joke. "APPLE JUICE?" "Yep." Ephraim let out a long stream of colorful curses. Lyon smiled sympathetically and beckoned him to follow. "Come on. I'll get you some in the kitchen." Sullenly, Ephraim dragged himself off the couch and after his friend.

Fado was quite shocked when his old friend Emperor Vigarde showed up at his door with Lyon and Ephraim. He was even more shocked when he saw Ephraim's full head of hair. He sputtered, speechless. "Well old buddy, aren't you going to invite us in?" Vigarde chuckled. Fado coughed and stepped back to let them in.

"YOU WENT AFTER A WHITE CROCODILE WITH YOUR BARE HANDS?" Knoll bellowed, almost regretting requesting to talk to the prince after dinner. He wasn't sure his nerves could take any more. Ephraim nodded meekly. The mage sunk into his chair groaning. "That was a foolish and extremely dangerous act! Weren't you thinking?" Ephraim shook his head truthfully. Knoll glared at him and sighed. "All right. At least you were lucky and didn't get killed." Ephraim nodded. Knoll looked a lot calmer now. He leaned back and smoothed out the wrinkles on his robes. "Well then. Where is my spell book? Yes I know that you took it, Prince." Ephraim shut his gaping mouth and squirmed uncomfortably. "Well...you see...I kind of dropped it when I was being chased by that dragon..." Knoll gasped and grabbed Ephraim by the arm, "YOU DID WHAT?" Ephraim held up his hands to defend himself. "It was an accident! I swear! It wasn't my fault! ...HELP!" Knoll's nostrils flared but he stepped back. Ephraim secretly breathed a sigh of relief before...

The next morning, Ephraim stalked into the kitchen and slumped into his chair. "Nocuthmeh," he scowled. His father and sister just stared at his toothless gums.

The End

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally, this was written as a joke. So it isn't the most organized...Hope you liked it. In case you couldn't tell "Nocuthmeh" meant "Knoll cursed me." Yep. And the end was kind of rushed. I might have to change that some time.