Character(s)/Pairing(s): Frenzy, Rumble, Ravage, Soundwave. Hinted/Referenced Thundercracker/Starscream/Skywarp.

Warnings: Mischievous Cassetticons getting a taste of their own medicine? Hinted Slash, but mostly Gen.

Summary: After Rumble and Frenzy stumble unto something they weren't supposed to see, Soundwave decides it's time his Cassettes receive The Talk.

Notes: Part of a series of old fics dating from somewhere between 2008 and 2013 that I recently found back on my computer and that were never posted (or only on livejournal, though I don't remember in either case). I decided to try and rectify the matter by adding them to my accounts. Back then, I regularly adopted bunnies from the tf_bunny_farm; this particular fic was probably inspired by one of said bunnies. Hope you'll enjoy your reading.

The Talk

Today had started like any other day for the Decepticon. Everything was normal and boring, as they weren't going to fight the Autobots today.

Or at least, it had been boring until two mechs received a summons from someone they wouldn't dare disobey.

"So… any idea why Soundwave wants to see us in private?"

Rumble stopped walking to turn toward his twin.

"No idea. Did we do something bad?" asked the Cassette.

"More than usual? I don't think so."

"How about the potatoes we put in Motormaster's exhault pipes?"

Frenzy thought about that for a minute before shaking his head.

"No proof it was us; from what I gathered, Skywarp is still the prime suspect."

"Better him than us but be careful; you never know when they're going to grow a CPU and begin to suspect us."

"True enough. Anything else we could have done to anger Soundwave?"

"Perhaps it's about that last paint bomb we dropped on Starscream?" pondered Rumble.

"No, can't be," answered Frenzy. "He thought it was funny, he wouldn't punish us fot that."

Rumble tilted his head.

"Who said he was going to punish us?"

"Come on Rumble, he never wants to see us alone if it's not for punishment."

"Still, he didn't seem to be angry at us last time I saw him..."

"When was that?"

"Just before he talked to... Thundercracker?"

Suddenly, both of them understood exactly what it was about.

"How much do you bet one of them saw us?"

"Sorry, I don't take sucker bets," said Frenzy, shaking his head.

"Yeah, right and I'm an Autoscum."

"Sorry, red is not your color," jocked his brother. "So, Thundercracker ratted on us. Big deal; we gather information. They were doing something suspicious in that room and we had to know what.

"What was he doing with Skywarp and Starscream anyway? They were moaning and their vents were loud..."

"Don't know; but if they were in pain, why did they said 'harder' and 'more'?"

"Perhaps they are masochists?"

"They support Starscream; I think that was already obvious," answered the red Cassette. "Come on, he doesn't like waiting," he added as he started to walk again.

"Boss mech? You wanted to see us?"

Soundwave looked up from the datapad he was reading upon their arrival. Ravage was lying at his feet and the Twins could see his tail moving right and left. So, they weren't alone. Perhaps it wasn't as important as they first thought...

Then Soundwave began to speak.

"Rumble, Frenzy: present in Seekers' quarters last orns."

Both Cassettes nodded.

"What you saw: understood?"

Rumble looked at his brother before starting to talk.

"Well, they were making a lot of weird noises..."

"Yeah, and they put their hands in weird place. I mean, who would want to grab Starscream's aft? Or touch Skywarp between the legs?" added Frenzy with a wince. "I don't know why they were doing that, but it was gross!"

"And they were making even more weird noises when they stroked each other's wings..."

As he and Soundwave listened to their 'report', Ravage tried very hard not to laugh out loud; there was no point in revealing what he knew. As for Soundwave, he was repressing a sigh. So, he had to go through this once again...

Thankfully, once he was done, he wouldn't have to do this ever again…Unless Ratbat began to ask questions, but he was still a bit young for it and would hopefully remain blissfully ignorant of the 'facts of life' for a few more millions vorns.

Rumble and Frenzy stopped talking when they finally finished describing exactly what they had seen. Soundwave had to admit it could have been worse; the Seekers had been pretty mild in their 'love making' session.

Still, he had to explain to them exactly what they had seen; it wouldn't be good if they broadcasted the Air Commander's 'exploits' with his wing mates to everyone just because they didn't know better.

Starscream wasn't too bad with a gun when he really wanted to kill someone...

And he didn't want to lose Rumble and Frenzy. Even though they were annoying Pit-spawned glitches when they wanted to be, they were his annoyingPit-spawned glitches.

If someone had to deactivate them for good one day, it would probably be him.

For their part, the Twins' embarrassment was still growing, as well as Ravage's delight.

The Communication Officer looked at his youngest creations with an undefinable expression. Of course, since he was wearing a mask, nobody could say what his face reflected; but usually, his Cassettes knew him well enough to decipher Soundwave's body language and moods rather easily.

This time, they couldn't read anything. That wasn't good... And the fact Ravage was looking positively delighted wasn't doing anything to ease their worries.

Soundwave finally spoke.

"Rumble, Frenzy: old enough to have the Talk."

The two Cassettes looked at each other. Ravage snorted. Oh, this was going to be good...

"The Talk?" said stupidely Frenzy.

"What's the Talk?" asked Rumble to their creator, his voice full of wonder.

Soundwave stayed silent.

"Ey, I think I remember something about that; wasn't Ravage sent to the Medbay once because Soundwave had the Talk with him?" said suddenly Frenzy.

Rumble looked at his brother in wonder. Now that he thought about it, he vaguely remembered something like that…

"Where did you learn that?"

"By listening to Hook's rambling. That mech sure can talk when he's working on something alone and is unahappy about it..."

"Yeah, now I remember. Wasn't that just after he met this pretty kitty-femme at the start of the war?"

Frenzy nodded. They hadn't been very happy to see their brother leaving them alone to follow a femme wherever she was going. They would never tell anyone they had been jealous, because they hadn't been.

But Ravage was their brother, he belonged to them... And eventually to Soundwave, but that wasn't the point.

"Why did he think she was so special anyway?" grumbled Frenzy.

"Don't know, don't care. But why did he need to be sent to..."

Click.

Both twins looked up at the noise. Had Soundwave... locked the door? They shared a look. Ok; now was a good time to start to panic.

"Euh...why did you...?" asked fearfully Frenzy.

"Ravage, Laserbeack, Buzzsaw: already received The Talk. Reactions: not appreciated. Repeat of the experience: not wanted."

"But..." started Rumble.

"Silence. Sit down. Listen carefully."

Ravage grinned. The Twins gulped.

And so Soundwave began to tell the tale that usually began with 'When a mech and a femme or two mechs or two femmes or even more - like three or four of them - love each other, they...'

To say the Twins were horrified was the understatement of the millennium.

To say they weren't sent to the Medbay for sedatives and a long chat about keeping their firewalls and anti-viruses updated, with Ravage roaring in laughter as he watched and recorded everything, would be a lie.

To say that, once they got over the shock and the 'Erk! I will never do something so disgusting! Ever!' phase, they started to flirt with just about every good looking mech and femme on sight would be very accurate.

Too bad for them Starscream didn't take well the fact they grabbed his aft and that his aim was just as accurate...

End