Hello everyone, this is my first SGA fic, I watch the series for a few weeks now on syfy, they air 3 eps in a row so i've seen a lot of them and I hope I have put down the characters properly I do apologize if I didn't. It is mainly John. After this chapter the second and final chapter follows, English is not my native language and this is not beeta'd so I take full responsibility for any errors have fun and let me know what you think please!

Calleigh was now a year on Atlantis and she had been part of John's team for about four months. That time she had spent mostly in the gym to learn how to fight and at the fire range to learn how to shoot. Fighting she learned from Ronon, John taught her how to shoot. She picked up things easily and therefore made progression quickly. After training with Ronon she walked back to her room.

"Calleigh!" she heard someone call her name.

Calleigh turned and saw John running up to her.

"I hear from Ronon that you are making progress very quickly." he said.

"You and Ronon are good teachers." she replied.

"Ronon is without a doubt, and oh, I do my best." he said, shrugging.

"You sell yourself short John." Calleigh said.

When their eyes met a shiver ran down her spine wich she could supress with trouble.

"Ronon and I think you're ready." he said suddenly.

Calleigh stopped walking and looked at him and wondered if he meant what she thought. Her mouth opened and closed but nothing came out.

"We feel that you are ready to go into the field with us."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, really."

Before she knew it Calleigh jumped into John's arms. A bit surprised by the reaction he closed his arms around her frame gently. When Calleigh noticed what she did she let him go and quickly mumbled an apology before she alomst ran away.

Later in bed she could not sleep and sighed, she thought back to the moment she felt John's strong arms around her and she had to admit that it was quite a good feeling, she smiled and with his face in her mind, she fell asleep.

While she was putting on her uniform someone knocked on the door. She swiped her arm along the panel and opened it. Teyla stood before her and looked at her smiling.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Yes, absolutely, come on, let's go." she said.

Together they walked to the jumper. John sat up front with Ronon. Rodney, Teyla and Calleigh sat in the back.

It would be a routine job, a planet where previously no Wraith were seen. Rodney had to pick up some medicine that was very developt, it could cure very serious diseases. Carson wanted to investigate it more to see what it was exactly. But still Calleigh was nervous. Teyla saw it and put her hand on Calleigh's leg.

"It will be okay, you can do this, otherwise John had not taken you with us." she assured her.

Calleigh felt better immediately and was glad she was there. That was something Teyla was good in, putting people at ease.

When the arrived at the destination, the jumper was put down and they got out. Calleigh looked around while Rodney pointed the way. He walked up front with John. Teyla and Calleigh behind them and Ronon was last. After they picked up the drug they had to go back, Calleigh wished they could have stayed longer because the people there were very friendly. They walked in the same line up until John let himself fall back slightly and began walking beside Calleigh.

"Everything okay here?" he asked.

"Yes, everyting is fine." Teyla answerd.

"You're doing great, Calleigh."

Calleigh blushed and looked at him.

At that time it happened, there flew a number of white flashes past and before Calleigh could do something John pushed her behind him. She stood with her back to him while Ronon and Teyla fired back. There were Wraith's everywhere. She had never seen one and they looked hideous, she was petrified, she tried to shoot the with her P90 but her fingers cramped up and she felt her knees go week. Calleigh tried to pull herself together and shoot but she couldn't. She collapsed.

When she awoke she was in the jumper. She looked around confused and saw Teyla looking at her full of concern. She asked if she was okay and how she felt. Calleigh was at first confused and then she remembered what had happened. Suddenly shame took over and she pressed herself up against the wall of the jumper and pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around it.

"I'm fine." she said curtly.

Teyla recognized the cautious attitude and looked at Rodney, who shook his head to indicate that she had to leave her alone.

Back on Atlantis, she could not get out fast enough but was stopped by Ronon.

"Let me go!" she yelled

"Calleigh ..."

"I just want to be alone." she tore herself loose and ran away.

She ran as far as possible. When she got cramps she stopped and looked around she was at the other side of the city, she sighed and looked out over the water. She sat on the edge and pulled her shoes and socks off and let her feet dangle in the water. She closed her eyes and for the first time she relaxed, the water always had that effect on her. Calleigh let herself fall backwards and put her hands to her face.

"There you are." she heard someone say.

"I thought I had said that I wanted to be alone." she said.

"Calleigh ..."

"Go away, John."

"No."

Calleigh lowered her hands and looked at him irritated. She sat up and looked at her feet dangling in the water.

"I'm sorry." she said softly.

"That's not necessary."

"Yes it is, I've disappointed the team, I've disappointed you."

"Not true ..."

"Yes, it is. I froze, John. I couldn't do anything, I was suppost to help you but .."

Suddenly she felt a hand gently stroking her cheek, and then she noticed that she was crying. John wiped her tears away, almost lovingly. Slowly she looked at him. She didn't see in his eyes what she expected,:disappointment, shame, pity, but she saw compassion, gentleness, warmth.

"You have not let us down." John said softly.

"How can you say that?"

"Because it is true. How you reacted to the Wraith's is quite normal, actually reasonable given the reaction of others."

"I put the team in danger. Whatever you say, you probably just say because you're my CO."

"That's nonsense, and you didn't put us danger."

"You think Teyla Ronon and Rodney feel the same way?"

"Of course, they care about you and so do I. And if anyone put some one in danger it's me putting you in danger."

Calleigh looked at him confused.

"I've brought you with us didn't I?" he said.

"Yes, but you could not know that there's Wraith's out there."

"And you could not know that you would react the way you did. Most people run away." he said.

"Run away?" Calleigh said incredulously.

"Yes, with all the consequences, you at least remained where you were."

"Because I froze." Calleigh said softly, she felt the tears coming again and she tried to fight them back by biting her lip.

"Come here." John said suddenly.

Calleigh felt that strong arms around her again and she rested her head on his shoulder. He gently stroked her back.

"It's okay, Call." he whispered in her ear.

There went a chill through her as he whispered her name in her ear, normally she hated it when people called her Call but John got away with it because he made it sound so good, so beautiful. She took a deep breath and she smelled his scent, vanilla and musk. An unusual combination but it smelled good, he smelled so good. Slowly she made herself loose from him, she looked at her feet in the water.

"I love the water." she said.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I was the fastest in my class, I wanted to make it my profession but when I started training with the proff. I realized I just was not fast enough. That is why I volunteerd for this program."

"I'm glad you've done that, their loss is our gain." he said.

Calleigh blushed and smiled at him.

"Come on, I want to show you something." John said and he reached out his hand to her. Calleigh looked at him in surprise and took his hand. She could just grab her shoes and socks before he pulled her along.