AN: So I was bored...

Someday I will get over the pain that is my heart. Someday I will lose the image of him falling, the image of his dark red blood on the pavement, in his hair. Someday I will forget that I ever was best friends with someone who called himself sociopath.

Someday?

No, never. I took too much pain. He broke me, I curse him for that. I know he did it for someone other than himself, but couldn't he have said a proper goodbye?

In my mind I can see it. What I could have done.

He called me. I was walking by the hospital when he called me. Why?

"Sherlock are you okay?" My voice is full of confusion.

"Turn around and walk back the way you came." His voice is gruff, with a small catch in it. Why would he say that?

"No, I'm coming in." a step towards him brings on more confusing words.

"Just… Do as I ask. Please." He never says please. Hesitation is my next action.

"Where?" what is he thinking, what is he thinking!

"Stop there." Pause.

"Sherlock–" I stop, and look around in even greater bewilderment.

"Okay look up. I'm on the rooftop." The roof top?! What is he–!

"Oh god…" oh god no, please don't let it be what I think it is.

"I–I–I can't come down, so we'll have to do it this way." Do what? He had better come down off the damn roof!

"What's going on?"

"An apology. It's all true." His voice hitches.

"What?"

"Everything they said about me. I invented Moriarity." No. No no no! he is NOT saying these things!

"Why are you saying this?" why would he say these things, he was always so proud!

"I'm a fake." No, I am not hearing this!

"Sherlock–" I need to say so much more!

"The newspapers were right all along. I want you to tell Lestrade, I want you to tell Mrs. Hudson and Molly. In fact, tell anyone who will listen to you. That I created Moriarity for my own purposes." I will never! He is not a fake! I refuse to believe it!

"Okay, shut up, Sherlock. Shut up. The first time we met–the first we met– you knew all about my sister, right?"

"Nobody could be that clever." He could. He was.

"You could." Can't I make him see…?

"I researched you. Before we met I discovered everything I could to impress you. It's a trick. It's just a magic trick." No, it was brilliant. It was his brilliant deducting skills.

"No. Alright, stop it now." I started forward again, but his words froze me.

"No, stay exactly where you are. Don't move."

"Alright." How could I disagree with him?

"Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please, will you do this for me?" No, this wasn't happening. Horror kept me rooted to the spot.

"Do what?" dare I even ask?

"This phone call, it's… it's my note. That's what people do, don't they? Leave a note." No. No this was not a suicide note!

"Leave a note when?" my eyes felt hot, I feared them brimming over.

"Goodbye, John."

But before he could drop his phone I ran. I do not know how I ran so fast. I ran as he tipped forward. I ran to reach him, and I did. But then I heard a gunshot. A pain in my chest. Hot. Fiery. Like when my shoulder was shot. I am familiar with this pain. He lands on me as I fall. He groans. He is alive. Barely. But me… I don't know.

"John?" he wheezes.

I look at him.

"You idiot, you have to keep living. You are not a fake, you are Sherlock–" I gasp for air. "Sherlock Holmes. You are Sherlock Holmes, and don't you forget that." a little blood accompanies my next words. "Keep living, keep living for me." I think I broke a number of bones as well... oh well… I saved him.

"No! John! Ambulance!"

I just look at him. "Not this time, Sherlock. The chances of my recovery are about ten-to-one."

"Then we better be lucky!"

I don't think so. Because this is not what I could have done, it's what I did do.

I, John Hamish Watson gave up my life for my best friend. He can't save me, though. He will live. That is for the better.

"John, you are going to live. I promise you. And we will solve cases! More cases!" Sherlock's words barely reach my mind.

The next thing I register is the weight of a hand in my hand. A bright white light. Blinking lights. Soft whispered words. Sherlock's soft whispers.

"John. You can't leave me. Not when there are so many unsaid things. So stay with me forever, alright? Because you aren't allowed to die."

And I breath in a sharp breath.