A/N Yes, it's short. VERY short, but it's my first story!

Well, I say 'my first story' but roughly half of it actually belongs to Forfirith, her parts of the story are in italics. The story has turned out very strange because we did that thing where you fold the piece of paper over so you can't see what the other's written… it's confusing. So that is why it is so mad… even madder than my stories will normally be…

Rating: PG-13 rating for boy on boy H/D slash. Any flames will be saved and used next winter to warm up my freezing toes. Any proper, decent reviews however will be greatly appreciated! I welcome constructive criticism and any spelling/grammar corrections will be greatly appreciated, reminding you I am English (e.g. what Americans spell 'color' I will spell 'colour').

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy belong to JK Rowling. I know, it's sad, but no matter how much I want to own them so I can keep them all by myself, it will never be, unless JK Rowling leaves them to me in her will, which is doubtful. The word 'Sagahog' belongs to William Nicholson, who uses it in his 'The Wind On Fire' series. And Schimehime Lunatic Asylum belongs to ME! It is my own personal lunatic asylum which I go to in times of need.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

It's Big, Fluffy and Out of Control… and No, it's Not Hagrid's Beard

Draco Malfoy shook his head. A huge, fluffy, dancing cream cake was in front of his eyes.

It was Harry Potter.

Draco said to the illusion "God, you're gorgeous!" because he thought that it looked delicious!

"Mmm," he said. "You look almost as gorgeous as Harry Potter in skimpy underwear!"

The illusion replied "Why yes, I am!" then walked up to Draco and snogged him!

Draco snogged back, but pulled away and thought a minute.

"Why am I snogging a cream cake?" he wondered.

"Well, because you're a sex god!" Harry (a.k.a. Creamcake) replied logically.

Draco stared at Harry. "You're beautiful!" he exclaimed.

Harry looked puzzled (when does he not look puzzled?) then forgot about looking puzzled and snogged Draco again. "I… love… you…"

"I love you too you SAGAHOG! SAGA-SAGA-SAGA-HOOOOOG!"

There was a puffy cream cake pause.

At 3.02 p.m. Draco Malfoy was carted off to Schimehime Lunatic Asylum (which we will be seeing much more of in future stories). He had to be forcefully restrained as he was carried away, screaming "DON'T TAKE AWAY MY CREAM CAKE!"

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Snoo-hoo! I'm not very happy with that ending! Suggestions for a better one will be appreciated with al my heart!

Obviously likely to be a one-shot but maybe will do extra chappy about Draco's time in Schimehime Lunatic Asylum? We shall see.

PLEASE REVIEW; IT'LL GIVE ME THE BIGGEST BUZZ!