I've been looking about and there is some really bad 'The Lusty Argonian Maid' stories that don't fit the style of the original. In fact most of them are actual stories or just out right sex scenes! This is not what made 'The Lusty Argonian Maid' so amazing! So here is my rendition of The Lusty Argonian Maid
The Lusty Argonian Maid
Volumes 3
Act II, Scene V, Continued
Lifts-her-tails: That's a big log you have there but I don't believe it will fit in the fire place.
Crantius Colto: Oh my foolish little Argonian maid we are yet to stoke the fire.
Lifts-her-tail: However would we do that? I am unaware of such skills as I'm but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto: We'll be needing a poker for this job.
Lifts-her-tail: But that poker is used by the mistress for her fire.
Crantius Colto: Don't worry my little dumpling I'll stoke her fires myself later.
Lifts-her-tail: The fire won't start. This could take awhile.
Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
END OF ACT II, SCENE V
Act IX, Scene VIII, Continued
Crantius Colto: These eggs won't break themselves my deer.
Lifts-her-tail: The mistress requested her breakfast I don't have time to scramble your eggs.
Crantius Colto: I would require the sausages cooked as well, I like lots of meat with my breakfast.
Lifts-her-tail: But. But that sausage is to large for the pan.
Crantius Colto: Oh my sweet little Argonian maid the sausage will shrink once it is cooked.
Lifts-her-tail: But how long would that take? I don't think I have an hour glass large enough to accommodate your breakfast needs.
Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
END OF ACT IX, SCENE VIII