Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time
I catch a flash of smile; yours of course. Our many dates and outings. Every kiss and touch. It all flashes before my eyes. Then a more recent memory plays.
"Ron! I can't believe you would say that!" I had screeched. Ron was by the front door, staring me down. The tension in the air was incredibly palpable.
"Yeah, well…" Memory-Ron's words fade out. I can't even remember what we had been fighting for.
"That's it!" I had snapped. "I am out of here!" I still can picture the stunned look on his face as I grabbed my purse and stalked out the door.
He grabbed my arm. "Hermi-" he started to say, but I slapped him good and hard across his face.
"Don't touch me." And then I was gone.
I sighed and tried to shake the memories away. It didn't work. I went into the kitchen and opened a bottle of rum. I stared at the bottle for a moment, contemplating. Then I swigged a third of it in one go.
I left the kitchen and threw myself onto my couch. With a lazy flick of my wand, music poured from the stereo. A sad country song. How fitting.
I willed myself to fall asleep, but nothing happened. Maybe I need more rum. Down went another third. A buzzing sensation flooded my mind. Hehe, it tickled. How about that? Just like caterpillars in my brain.
I laugh even more, doubling over. Then I find myself with BlackBerry in hand, punching in Harry's phone number. Maybe he knows where Ron is.
God, I must really be drunk to think about tracking down Ron. Besides, if I wanted to talk to him, his number was in my contact list. I sit up. Is he even thinking about me right now? Why am I thinking about him in the first place? I'm supposed to be mad at him!
I throw my phone behind me. Then I flop back down on the couch and drain the rest of the bottle. A single tear rolls down my cheek.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how I could do without
I just need you now
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
I can't believe it. After four flasks of whiskey and several butterbeers, I still think about her. Hermione, why won't you come back to me? I didn't mean what I said. After all these years you should know that.
I scratch my head. I'm alone at my apartment, lying in the middle of the floor. I feel pathetic. It's after one in the morning, nearly six hours after our fight. Shouldn't she be cooled off by now? I can't even remember what we were arguing about. I put a hand to my right cheek, touching the gash that had come from Hermione's ring connecting with my face. It had finally stopped bleeding. I wish I could stop my emotions, scab them over and lock them inside. But they always come pouring out when I remember where that ring had ended up, and I don't mean slapping my face.
She had all but ripped it off her left hand and threw it at me without looking back.
It makes me wonder why I even kept glancing at the front door, expecting it to burst open and reveal her slim, perfect, lovely silhouette.
It's a quarter after one,
I'm a little drunk and I need you now
I have got to call her. I've got to make up for what I did. She's the best thing to ever happen to me and I know damn well I'm not going to let things end like this.
I stand up and go into the bedroom. I sit down on my bed and pick up the phone. I stare at it for a long time. Then, slowly, I dial.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now
The buzzing in my brain has stopped. I can think rationally again, but I choose not to. I need to talk to him. "No," I correct myself aloud. "I need him. I need Ron. Now!"
I hurry to my BlackBerry, which luckily had landed in a basket of socks I hadn't felt like folding. I pick it up gingerly, then hesitate. I take a deep breath, in and out. I start typing in his number.
And I don't know how I could do without
I just need you now
If she is still mad at me, well then it's my fault. I can't stand not knowing how she is, what she's thinking, how she's feeling. I'd rather the truth hurt me than feel the numbness of not knowing.
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all…
Before I can finish dialing, my phone rings, blaring a fast-paced Kesha song. I stumble, startled, but quickly recover. I answer without checking the number. "Hello?"
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. Please, please forgive me. I love you so much."
"Ron…" I try to calm myself but my voice cracks and any restraint I had crumbles away. "Oh, Ron!" I start to sob.
It's a quarter after one
I'm a alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now