Disclaimer: All material used in this fanfiction belongs to its respective owner(s) and is not associated with them in any way, shape, or form. I, the writer of this fanfic, claim none of it as my own in this non-profit fanfic.


Inside Kristoph's dirigible, which floats above the ruined city of Los Angeles, he sits in a purple armchair with a wooden finish, calmly reading a book, mouthing the words to himself, within a room that is furnished with the same items that had also furnished his solitary confinement cell. Suddenly, Kristoph's reading is interrupted by a high-pitched beep.

After a few seconds of ignoring the beep to finish reading the page that he is currently on, the Coolest Defense in the West calmly closes his book and puts in on the nearby end table before looking into the television camera that is being pointed at him with his normal smile.

"Oh, hello there, sorry about giving you a bit of a cold shoulder there; but I just had to finish the page I was on. Stephen King's 'End of Watch' is a real page-turner that really speaks to me; but you're not here about my literary interests, no? Of course not, you're here for 'Pick Your Poison's!' successor, 'Debauched Steel'; but before we jump into the show, I'll summarize the main points- much like how Debeste did with his show.

Kristoph holds up a single finger. "Point number one: This show will be a parody of the video game series, 'Twisted Metal', in which the characters of the 'Phoenix Wright' series compete in a demolition derby and fight to the death, using vehicles of their choosing that I will provide for them, as long as I approve of them, with the winner being granted any wish of their choosing by me with the aid of my newly acquired powers; though, unbeknownst to the cast, I will make it where the winner's wish backfires on them."

Kristoph holds up two fingers. "Point number 2: Given the nature of the show, I will be cutting out the demolition derby and will only be showing the part where the winner receives their wish. And for those of you curious about what happens during the demolition derby, I'll give you a quick rundown- everyone but the winner dies; which brings us to point number three."

Kristoph holds up three fingers. "Point number three: I'll only be able to show air one episode; but thankfully, I have a solution that will ensure the show's longevity: alternate timelines. Yes, thanks to the nature of the multiverse, infinite timelines, and whatnot, every episode after the first will be aired in alternate timelines where a different contestant wins each time."

Kristoph holds up four fingers. "Point number four: You may be wondering why the 'Phoenix Wright' cast would be willing to kill their loved ones in a demolition derby to the death, but it makes sense once you understand the ultimatum that I gave the cast: participate in my competition or I will kill each and every one of them in a slow, painful fashion, bring them back to life, and then repeating the cycle of death and rebirth until they choose the former."

Kristoph holds up five fingers. "And finally, point number five: Teamwork is a wondrous thing that can allow for the development of ideas and possibilities that may not arise from working alone. With that in mind, if you think that a particular character will wish for something in particular, which could very well be the case considering how predictable they can be, send me a message stating what it is, as well as how I could possibly mess it up. Who knows, I may just end up using your suggestion."

The camera zooms in on Kristoph's face, which is bearing a sinister, yet calm, grin. "Exposition aside, I'm Kristoph Gavin, and I welcome you to 'Debauched Steel'."

Kristoph chuckles as the screen fades to black.


A/N: For the sake of clarity, here's a recap of Kristoph's five points.

1. This show is a parody of the video game series 'Twisted Metal', where the 'Phoenix Wright' cast competes in a demolition derby, using the vehicles of their choice which Kristoph will provide for them, as long as he approves of it, with a wish for anything that they want as the prize. However, like with 'Twisted Metal', Kristoph will make it where the winner's wish will backfire on them.

2. Since the demolition derby part is essentially just everyone but the winner dying a fiery, vehicular death, each episode will consist of the winner going to Kristoph, making their wish, and viewing the outcome of said wish. Though, for imaginative purposes, at the beginning of each episode, I'll have a little character bio which contains the character's name, their vehicle of choice along with its stats, and a little bio about their motivation.

3. Going off of point two, since everyone but the winner dies, this show utilizes alternate timelines in which a different character wins. And before you ask about how Kristoph can film a show in multiple alternate timelines, just remember that this is a show that came about because Kristoph gained Blaise's godlike powers that were originally used for a submission-based punishment show; the plot doesn't have to make complete sense.

4. As to why the 'Phoenix Wright' cast would go through with a competition like this is that Kristoph will kill them all and then bring them back to life in an infinite cycle until they finally agree to do so. That, and a good portion of the cast can't resist the chance to earn a free wish.

5. I love viewer participation because not only does it help create a sense of community, but it can also help me see possibilities that I would have not been able to come up with had I chose to work alone. As such, like with 'Pick Your Poison!', you, the viewer, can submit ideas that could affect the outcome of an episode. If you wish to do so, send me a message, either in the form of a review or a p.m., stating what character you'd like to see, and I mean any character from the series, what their wish would be, and how it could backfire on them. Who knows- a single message could give a character an episode who would have otherwise not received one; though don't be upset if I choose to not go with your exact idea for the character. Also, if a character has already been given an episode, I will be ignoring all messages pertaining to that character from the moment that the episode has been uploaded; so if you want the best chance of your idea being accepted, just remember that the early bird catches the worm.