HER SCARS
Disclaimer: Sanctuary and all of its characters and locations, etc, belong to their respective owners; I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement intended!
Author's Note: The idea for this came from a moment in the second half of "End of Night. Seeing Helen on the ground after Ashley attacked her, crying and dropping the gun…made me wonder about those scars, and what they'd do to her.
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Helen Magnus carried many scars from her lifetimes working with abnormals. Many of them could be seen on her body if you looked close enough; and there were many more that were emotional, that could never be seen except for the occasional quiver in her voice. The darkness in her eyes.
She wasn't ashamed of the marks of her trials, but she didn't display them. She wasn't proud of all of the ways that she had acquired all of them, in spite of the good that she often accomplished. Far more unnecessary risks had been taken than she was entirely comfortable with; and sometimes, they had ended badly. Sometimes, people were lost. It was ever worse when those who never came back were good people.
Helen fingered the four long, thick lines that were etched into her left arm, feeling tears press against the back of her eyes. She blinked as her vision blurred, rubbing up and down the rough bumps. Of everything that she had been through, these were the marks that were hardest to bear. Her biggest regret. She had never stopped feeling the pain from that moment.
"Ashley," she whispered, tears sliding down her cheeks. Why did she have to say yes to Ashley and Henry? Why did she have to let them go? So much trouble and pain could have been avoided if only she had made Ashley wait until AFTER they'd attempted to retrieve the vial. She'd been over the scenario hundreds of times in her mind, trying to rationalize what had happened, but she could never quite come to terms with did her daughter have to die?
With a heavy sigh, Helen pulled her sleeve back down over to hide the dark ridges, shook her head. There was nothing to be gained from "what if's" or "might have been's"; not that that had stopped her yet. But dwell as she might on the scars of her failing, she could not let them rule her. Instead, she let them serve her as a reminder of all that she had once had, and what she could still hope to give to others. Those scars were etched just as deeply into her heart as they were into her flesh; and she swore that she would do everything that she could to prevent something like this from happening again.
Yes, Helen Magnus had many scars. Some carried memories. Some carried names. Some were so dim they were nearly forgotten, or so raw that they would never heal. But it was the pain that kept her fighting.
She refused to let Ashley's death be in vain.
fin.
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A/N: I love Sanctuary, but I'm still working on grasping the character's written voices. It's good, though; and I'm enjoying the journey. (: Thanks for reading!