Disclaimer: I own nothing except Vicky and even then i technically i dont own her... Song is If thats What it takes by Celin Dion
Warnings: None, no character Death this time You proud? haha
A/N: so this was written for the lovely Lady Of Arabia (Check out her stuff!! Tis more than awsome!) As she listens to me ramble on and on and on...
... and is such a nie person!
Anyway, Reviews are nice... (HINTHINT!!)
Also may have rated it too harshly so it would be nice to be told these things...
so enjoy!
If That's What It Takes.
Dean got up from the hood of the car and Sam watched as his brother got behind the wheel again. He had finally opened up after weeks of bottling up over their dad's death; and if Sam was honest, he had no idea what to say or do. He felt like a moron not being able to say anything to help Dean out, just sitting there like a fish; opening and closing his mouth a couple of times. But when Dean looked at him, it cut through Sam, the tears where bad enough and Dean admitting his feeling but the raw pain in those eyes was something Sam simply wasn't used to.
Sam slid in beside Dean who was now facing the open road, features set, mask firmly in place. There was so much he wanted to say to Dean but the words were caught in his throat making it very hard to breathe let alone speak.
Six hours of driving later and Sam was sure his legs wouldn't regain any feeling. Not one single word was uttered either and Sam was now pretty sure that his voice was broken and Dean had shut down on him again. That wasn't a good thing at all.
Dean glanced over at Sam and wondered how long it would take for him to fall asleep because even he wasn't sure he would be able to hold it together until they made a motel. Dean's prayers however were answered and there was a massive sign that the next motel was 50 miles away.
Dean slammed his foot down hard on the accelerator, casing Sam to jerk forward in his seat. When Dean made a turn doing over ninety Sam was sure he had a death wish. Dean slowed slightly and he pulled over into "Smoky Joe's" motel. He sent a smile Sam's way, who too was grateful for the few moments to regroup and re-gather, and got out to get the room key.
The motel receptionist smiled softly at him as he walked through the door. He did a double take at the massive green eyes and long dark brown hair that had him mind reeling.
"Can I help you?" she asked and Dean felt his heart sink a little lower that it already was. The thick Californian accent made sure that Dean felt more alone than her already was, she wasn't going to save him this time he had pushed her too far away and far too fast.
"Two queens." he smiled and fished around in his pocket for the credit card that had some random guys name on it.
Sam watched Dean's figure through the window of the motel. He debated whether or not just to give her a call. She would want to know that he was an emotional mess. No matter what words had been said between them. Sam fiddled around for his cell in his pocket but halted the futile search when Dean slipped behind the wheel once again , in possession of a motel room key and a smile that meant only one thing…
Sam looked up from the web page he had been pretending to read for the last few hours at Dean who was currently sprawled across the bed nearest the bedroom beer in one hand, remote in the other. Sam was scared for him, he looked half dead. He hadn't cried again but his eyes were red and sore-looking, Sam was so sure he was holding the tears back. He also felt he didn't have a choice either.
"I'm gonna go grab a soda, You want anything?" he asked as he shut the laptop over and got to his feet. Dean's eyes met his for the briefest of moments and Sam knew there was one thing and one thing only that Dean wanted but was too broken to even contemplate it.
"Nah, I'm good." Dean muttered and looked away again, surprised that his voice was marginally louder than a broken whisper. Sam smiled then vanished out of the door and Dean blinked back the tears that were in his eyes because if he let them fall now, then they wouldn't stop.
Sam looked back through the window as he pulled the change and his cell form his pocket. He scrolled down to her name and hit the call button, praying to some god that she would pick up the god damned phone to him at least.
Behind those Hazel Eyes.
You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls
You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home
You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside
I see it in your eyes
Even you face the night afraid and alone
That's why I'll be there
Dean rubbed his eyes furiously a he looked in the bathroom mirror. Sam would be back any minute and if he saw him like this again he wouldn't here the end of it, and God did Dean want it to end. He wanted it all to end. Everything. The thoughts. The pain. The numbness. The loneliness. The sharp rapping at the door… The realisation of what it was had Dean scrambling for the towel and rubbed his face as furious as the first time. The door knocked again and Dean swallowed hard;
"Coming already!" He yelled and smirked at the deep rumble of his own voice. He knew Sam was impatient but this was verging on--
"Vicky." he half gasped, his mouth suddenly going dry as she stood there looking so unsure of herself.
"Hey Dean…So Can I come in or is this a privet party?" she asked, a playful but serious tone in her voice. Dean smiled and stepped out of her way. She was in her usual heels that she wore when she was around him.
She used to complain that he had an unfair advantage being over 6 foot while she was only 5'3. Dean could tell there was no conscious effort on her part to dress up but she looked amazing to him anyway, she could wear a bin-liner and look fantastic in his eyes.
"So how are you?" Vicky asked softly, she knew what his answer would be but she also knew he would be lying. For one she wasn't stupid and she knew Dean all to well but the second reason was more plausible than the first; Sam had told her.
He hadn't called her from the hospital. No-one had; and that's is what hurt her the most. Dean was dying and no-one saw fit to tell her.
When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Every beat of my heart, every day without end
Every second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
If that's what it takes
Dean smiled at her and contemplated his answer. He could lie and she could call his bluff or he could be straight with her and tell her how he was feeling and allow her to see the real Dean.
"I'm good." he did his best to smile but the green eyes cut through him and he knew he had lost.
"Who you trying to convince?" her voice was so gentle and Dean couldn't stop the tears anymore. Fighting the urge to wrap her up in his arms was taking more strength than he actually had in him right now; he just couldn't fight the tears too.
Vicky swallowed and closed the space in between them stopping in front of him. Dean raised his tear filled eyes and looked into hers. The silent promise of endless love and affection shone from them and he found himself letting go.
Dean fell to his knees and grasped for her as his body shuddered with the violent sobs that coursed through him. Vicky sank to her knees and gripped him to her, she desperately fought the tears that were building up.
She knew she could cradle him to her and whisper pretty nonsensical things into his ear until his tears subsided but she also knew that it doesn't work like that with Dean; he doesn't trust easily and he doesn't believe in words. However, if you show Dean, he'll believe you and show him is exactly what Vicky would do.
You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain
When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name
'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above
You've given me your love
When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain
That's why I'll be there
With great care she shifted his position and placed her hands either side of his face. He looked so broken and lost she let one tear fall. She wasn't going to break now, she hadn't in the past four years so why should she start now?
Swallowing hard, she stood and pulled him back to his feet, only to push him back down on the bed. He gazed up at her with confused eyes as she simply smiled and pushed him again so he was lying flat on his back.
Dean sighed, his whole body was beginning to hurt, but he really couldn't find it in him to care as long as she was here with him right now that was all that mattered. He managed a smile up at her as she sat astride him and inched her face closer to his.
More tears surged down Dean's cheeks the second their lips touched as though she was forcing him to cry them. His hands wove their way into her satin-soft hair as he kissed her ferociously as though she was his primary source of oxygen and he couldn't be without her. Well that much was true he genuinely couldn't.
When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend
Every beat of my heart, every day without end
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need
Every second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
Vicky smiled gently when they pulled away for breath. Dean's talented fingers were already making their way under her shirt and resting lightly against her rib-cage. She had the feeling it wouldn't be going any further though; Dean looked too broken, too unlike Dean, the mischievous sparkle had gone from his eyes to be replaced with sheer fear and need. She hated that look he gave her when he got like this; it was like a knife that cut through her heart a good few times.
A sudden need coursed through her veins and she suddenly need to feel his skin on hers. Her lips returned to his and his hands gripped her tighter, moving round her back to get a better grip on her, to keep her close to him. He whimpered softly against her lips as her hands traced down his chest between them.
She pulled back and gazed down into the depths of those eyes, they were always the only thing that she could use to keep him from lying to her about his feelings and right now she knew if she stopped he would become impossibly broken.
Dean's hands were gripping the hem of her shirt without his permission. He wanted her but this was too much too soon. His eyes searched deep into hers and he blinked. He wanted her and needed her and something clicked in his mind making him realise he couldn't wait; six months was too long. Far. Too. Long.
Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire
When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher
I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul
I will hold on all night and never let go
Every second I live, that's the promise I make
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes
Vicky sighed as Dean flipped them over and his eyes glazed. He was being productive with his pain and she was pleased, very pleased. He giggle fell from her pouty lips as he pulled them into a sitting position as his lips began their trail from hers to the base of her throat. She knew what he was after and practically yelled when he bit down through her shirt.
His hands spanned her ribcage again and her legs tightened around his waist. He laughed breathlessly as she wriggled in his lap, trying to move his hands lower, to get his hands to grip her t-shirt again. "Easy," he laughed and she growled.
"Dean!" she whined as he moved his hands lower by the inch, making sure to alert her nerves to his presence. He finally took heed to her commands and took hold of the bottom of her shirt. She moan loudly when he began to bite her neck as he drew her top up slowly revealing her tanned body to him and stopped just bellow her breasts.
Her eyes snapped to his and he bit down on his lip to stop himself laughing. "Something wrong?" he asked cocking his eyebrow at her. She smirked and he returned it. His mouth opened to make another smart assed remark before she lent forward and bit down hard on his ear lobe.
Dean finally yanked her top over her head, managing to send them both onto the floor, her on top of him. Dean smirked again, he had bought her that bra and panties set she was wearing; the red lace contrasted with her smooth, tanned skin and he grabbed her waist pulling her down. Vicky moans louder than the first time as her tongue finds its way to his prize. He knows it off by heart, where to lick, where to nip and where to kiss; every line, every shape, every gap is etched perfectly into his memory. He leaves the one part the he knows will drive them both wild and opts to kiss her instead.
Vicky knows this game. They play it every time the same format but different places and positions. Last time she was against a wall outside some seedy bar in Ohio. Dean's lips begin their mission again and she whimpers. She loves him and hates him all in one moment, but when the tip of his tongue dips bellow the lacy fabric her hands move of their own accord: stripping him of his shirt and fumbling with his belt.
The simultaneous snap of the buckle of the belt and her bra had her lips scrambling for his and her back colliding with the scratchy motel room carpet. Dean didn't move his mouth, just his tongue as he completed his mission; the tracing of her tattoo. A Winchester with his name on the handle. He remembered the first time he had seen it, they were… his mind snapped back into the present as her legs clamped around his waist as she pushed his jeans and boxers down.
"Easy," he whispered for the second time that night as her back arched into the perfect bow as she was dragged into the dark abyss that only he could take her too. Dean held perfectly still until Vicky began to rotate her hips and his lips claimed hers, his tongue mimicking what his lower half was doing.
Vicky rested her head on his chest as he pulled the motel sheets over their thoroughly spent bodies. He placed a gentle kiss in her hair and she sighed her intertwined his hand with hers and brought it up to place a kiss to the silver band on her ring finger. She giggled softly and gazed up at him; he always was gorgeous to her, but in his sated stated he was damn right irresistible. "I love you." he whispered and she smiled and wrapped her fingers around the matching silver ring of his along-side his amulet.
"I Love you too," she whispered against his lips before placing a tender kiss against them and snuggling down for some sleep.
If that's what it takes
Every day
If that's what it takes
Every day