My face had been etched into a mask of anxiety and pain by the months I have spent putting myself last while I had tried to make the relationship between Edward and I work. I'd learned so much now that I wish I'd known before like having not known that Edward had been 'difficult' while we were together and was, the kind of man who pulls me down instead of lifting me up.
Now that I look back he was too controlling and never supportive to me.I know if I had caught his in his act I would have not
wasted my energy dating a guy that liked me to depend on him emotionally the whole time. I had found him a drain now that I think about was someone who wouldn't let a girl have a say or do very much. He was the one that needed someone to relied on to lift his spirits and do all the caring for him.

But still, I had been sad when our relationship had ended.I was mostly sad when Edward had left me in the woods with no way to get back home. Then, as I continued to think about my lovely ex, my face changed completely to hatred.I was so furious and shocked with revenge.I wanted to see his face when I got my revenge on him for what he had put me through.I ran quickly through his behaviors and attitudes again registering his constant lack of respect and consideration for my feelings and re-evaluating our entire relationship.

What I saw was being able to return home after hours of trying to find my way back. I saw the simple pleasures of being able to cook myself a meal - or not - chat to a friend, flop in front of the television, or soak in a hot tub without the constant need to worry about and lift another person's mood.

I saw myself actually having the space to put myself first for once - and even love myself first. Instead of last.

I saw myself bliss by his departure, rather than proved to be a failure as a woman and a partner. I saw it as the start of a new and rewarding period in my life - my relationship with myself - rather than the end of my last hope of ever being in a relationship with any guy.

I saw it as the door slamming on a miserable past, rather than slamming on any hope of ever creating a worthwhile future without him.

I saw that his presence, rather than his absence, diminished me..

I saw that I have a far greater chance of dreaming, and achieving my dreams, without him than I had ever had with him.

And instead of bemoaning the failure of the relationship and my single status, I rejoiced in the promise of my future.

It was time to lose the clumsy and boring Me behind in the trash and bring back the old me and show the little town Named Forks who the real Isabella Swan there's no more Barbie doll Bella or China doll Bella. It's time to show that I am capable of doing things by myself. I am in control and no one else is. It is time to show them just how much of a bitch I could really be and to stop biting my tongue and being nice. It time to show then that I won't take crap from no son of a bitch.

It's been high time for a change to appear in forks and that change had just had a rude awakening.