A/N: I was pondering amusing Stargate moments and I kept thinks of food references and I really couldn't remember Daniel's food vices so this one chapter special was born... I don't own anything about this :)
Chapter Warnings: Talk about chocolate and sex!
What do you talk about at dinner with your team mates…?
"So I've been thinking…" Vala said as she slid into a seat opposite Daniel's in the commissary.
"What's Up?" Sam said look up and raising her brows slightly.
"Well, I know from both work and weekending at the cabin with you guys that Jack likes Guinness, he loves cake and eats way too many fruit loops… Cameron you like cookies, pizza and anything your mother or grandmother bake… Sam your thing for blue Jell-o is so wrong it's kind of alright… Teal'c you love most food I am not sure you have a favorite except maybe Doughnuts… and I like chocolate because well they are right about one thing eating it is very pleasurable just like sex… But Daniel, what is your food and drink 'thing'…?"
They all frown and then simultaneously turn to him…
"Huh…. Me…" He says and places his fork down.
"You…" Vala nods and smiles, her pigtails bobbing with her eager way. "I mean I don't remember seeing you get excited over food at all… You eat toast nearly every day for breakfast, you eat a sandwich almost every lunchtime, except on some missions when you often have cold soup…" She wrinkles her nose. "You have a regular boring commissary dinner like the one in front of you, mostly vegetables… no dessert most days… Do you get any pleasure from food?" She rests her chin on her hands expectantly questioning.
"Sure… I love it… I mean I wouldn't say I have a favorite… I like cake and pizza also ice-cream, I like pancakes when I am on leave… I don't mind the odd jell-o or the occasional beer and I don't object to Sam's macaroons when she substitutes in for Cam's relatives and as for missions I always eat what is practical… But what does this…"
"No chocolate?" She quizzes.
"Not really…" He looks at her. "Oh this is about the sex thing again isn't it…!?" He huffs.
"Not precisely… I mean, it's just maybe the two are connected…" She shrugs.
"You've been torturing the psychologist again haven't you?" He sighs.
"He was very obliging, happy even to speak to me…" She grins.
"So what is your conclusion…?" He decides to indulge her.
"Your diet defines your sex-life, it's boring!" She states.
"I am not having this conversation again! Just because I said no to you does not make me boring."
The others are all intrigued and sit watching in amusement.
"I had fluffy cuffs and attractive underwear and everything!" She pouts.
"Shut-up!" He says feeling some annoyance.
"I do not believe your assumption to be correct Vala Mal Doran…" Teal'C says. "Dr Jackson's male prowess is not interlinked with his dietary habits, instead it is more logical that his dietary habits are interconnected with his field of professional expertise… Are not many human scientists often thought of for their steadfast routine, intermittent social habits and notable awkwardness?"
"You have a point big guy!" Cam says with a smirk.
"But then again wouldn't that count for his relationships on all levels… Sex included?" Sam hypothesized.
"Guys… I am still here!" Daniel says a little frustrated. He lifts his coffee to his lips and Sam has an aha moment.
"Coffee… that is his thing… wherever we have been, Daniel loves to find coffee… He keeps sachets in his flak jacket for goodness sake… Daniel is a true definition of a coffee drinking geek!" She laughs.
"Takes one to know one Sam!" He grouses.
"Coffee is pretty antisocial on the breath which supports T's theory…" Says Cam.
Vala considers the topic and looks innocently at Daniel. "So it isn't personal then? You really are just that bad with women!" She seems more satisfied.
"I have a question…" Sam says "What does blue Jell-o say about me? Just curious…"
They all look anywhere but at Sam. Cam clears his throat.
"What…?" Sam looks bemused.
"By my understanding from what Jack told Daniel and I… overheard… it's not something you'd want to discuss in public." Vala says conspiratorially and shakes her head subtly.
Teal'C raises a brow and Daniel tries to look innocent and Cam outright laughs. Sam does a double take, ignores their inferences and then spoons another mouthful of Jell-o with a shrug. "Well I love it."
