El Acosador Tomate
Florida was sick and tired of Spain popping up everywhere he went. He felt like that one chick with the lamb. If the lamb was a pedophile/stalker.
When Florida got up in the morning and stumbled his way into the bathroom, there was Spain, sitting on the sink counter and handing him his toothbrush.
"Buenos dias, Florida," he said, smiling and shoving the toothbrush in the state's mouth.
"Get out of my bathroom you STALKER!"Florida shouted, spitting out the dental instrument and trying to shove the Spaniard out of the bathroom. It wasn't easy, what with the older nation's strength and desire to comment on and touch Florida's bare chest.
It wasn't the best way to start the morning.
Later, when Florida headed out to his state meeting, he found the tomato-loving foreigner in his car, curled up on the backseat.
Spain was woken up by a distinct lack of sun. Blinking his eyes open, he discovered the cause of this was none other than Florida, who was peering through the window with the most adorable dumbfounded look on his face.
"Hola, Florida."
"How the f*** did you get in my car?"
"A coat hanger. But never mind that. You look so cute with the light framing you like that! Would you like some churros?"
Florida, who had been fumbling to open the door, hesitated. Churros? Churros…
"No!" thought Florida, shaking his head. "Do not be swayed by the pastries!"
With that, the state yanked open his car door and hauled the trespasser out. Then, he jumped in the front seat and hit the gas, driving as far away from Spain as fast as he could go. (Which was why he got a speeding ticket)
Well, at least he somehow managed to get to the meeting on time.
But the worst thing happened when Florida went out to lunch after his meeting.
The doorbell jingled as Florida stepped into the McDonald's. He would never tell anyone, but he loved this place. Luckily, the restaurant wasn't so crowded, so he was able to get to the front of the line quickly. However, when the cashier turned around, Florida wished it was very, very crowded.
"Bienvenido a McDonald's, may I- Florida!" Upon recognizing the state, Spain flung his arms wide and grinned, making Florida hate his secret food love even more. "You showed up just in time, niño! I am about to take my break!" With that, Spain threw off his apron, clocked out, and hopped over the counter. He then ran out of the fast-food chain with Florida in tow, ignoring the angry shouts of the customers in line and the manger.
"Where are you taking me? How-WHY- the hell did you get a job at McDonald's here? What is wrong with you? When did you become such a freak?", Florida whisper-yelled, trying vainly to not draw attention to the pair.
Spain slowed to a leisurely stroll. "Very good, La Florida, but you are missing a 'who' question. The answers are, in order: it's a surprise, I asked the manager nicely because I wanted to be close to you~, nothing; everything's better in the Sunshine State!, and I've always been like this! You loved it when you were little, if I recall… Now I have a 'who' question for you~".
Turning, the elder nation took Florida's face in his hands. The state, who had frozen during Spain's speech, now shuddered.
"Who," Spain murmured, putting his face close to Florida's, "invented the telephone?"
"…WTF!".
Florida shoved the Spaniard away as hard as he could and ran back to his house as fast as his legs could carry him.
That guy needed help.
But, more importantly, that guy needed to stay away from Florida. And the Sunshine state knew exactly how to make that happen.
He bought a dog.