Just Another Girl

The cab pulled up to the airport just as night began. A midnight blue shroud draped itself over the sky, dotted with pale spots of light barely visible through the dense city lights. The attractions of Vegas could be seen coming out for the night, enticing visitors and residents alike to roam its lively streets. But one particular resident was about to board a plane that would take her away from this place, most likely for good. She could only hope that she was doing the right thing.

Sara stepped out of the cab and glanced around her, taking in Las Vegas one last time. She remembered the first time eight years before when she'd arrived in the city of sin, uncertain of what her future held for her. Now she was in the same situation, only this time she was leaving Vegas behind. She felt emotionally drained, all of her tears long cried and her mind numb from feeling. All she had left was the notion that she needed to escape.

The cab driver unloaded her suitcases and smiled at the large tip she gave him. Walking into the airport, she felt her entire life beginning to change.

She didn't want to think of Gil anymore. She was so tired and exhausted from it; all she wanted was a moment to relax and pretend that her life was not moving in such an unknown direction.

On the plane that night, Sara slept, her body and mind drained. Yet when she awoke a few hours later as the plane landed in San Francisco, she remembered her dreams, and how handsome Grissom had looked in them.

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Gil Grissom promised himself he wouldn't think of her. Not tonight, anyways. What good would it do to remind himself that the woman he'd finally given his heart to had left, probably never to return. Not that she didn't have her reasons, none of them really having to do with him, but still. He couldn't quite understand why she didn't think that he could help her. Maybe he hadn't shown her enough of himself…enough for her to know that he wanted nothing more than to help her through the rough times, to care for her and love her unconditionally.

But he wouldn't think like that. Not tonight. Tonight was a night to simply rest. He hadn't planned on experiencing an emotional roller coaster that day, but he had nonetheless. He was upset about how depressed Sara was getting over the case of that Hannah girl, and then he was slightly embarrassed but also pleased by her publicly kissing him. And then she leaves that letter for him, explaining why she had to suddenly leave. That brought on an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time: utter and complete despair.

Gil sighed and leaned back in his chair, a warm cup of tea in his hands. He stared out at the night sky on his balcony, the stars barely visible through the lights of the city. A plane flew by overhead, and he toasted it on it's journey. Sara would be on her plane by now, on her way back to San Francisco. A part of him silently wished that he was leaving with her.

Sara had brought out so many emotions in him that he had never before experienced. Love, for one. No woman had ever touched his heart the way Sara had, nor gotten so close to do so. Most women simply tuned him out after awhile, deciding that he was too shy or too smart. But Sara appreciated his continuous quotes of famous poets and authors, because she too understood the insight to be had from the voices of the past.

Unfortunately, the voices of the past didn't seem to have an answer on how to feel when the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with decides to up and disappear. And that was where he lacked as a person, he thought sadly. Sara always knew how to decipher a situation and how to feel about it. But he was always lost.

But those were thoughts for other nights, he decided briskly. He wouldn't cloud his mind tonight when there was work to do. He had chosen his career over her once, and now he was being forced to do it again. Fortunately for Gil Grissom, losing himself in his work was never hard for him to do.

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Fall 1999

He rubbed his tired eyes wearily. Lectures always took the most out of him, despite how much he enjoyed seeing students learn. The Berkeley lecture hall was one of his favorite places to visit and lecture, not only because of the students there but the atmosphere. Whenever he lectured at the Universities in Vegas he just didn't get the same response from the crowd. Here, he did. And that was reason enough to take a few weeks off to fly up to San Francisco and teach. It had become a second passion for him.

As he made a move to gather up his books and paperwork, he glanced up as a young woman approached him inside the lecture hall.

"Mr. Grissom, can I speak to you for a minute?" She asked with a smile, her honey brown eyes alive with curiosity. Her shoulder length brown hair was wildly wavy, and she kept making motions with her hands to push the curls out of her eyes.

"How can I help you?" He replied, smiling at her.

"My name is Sara, I was listening in on your lecture today, and I was wondering when you were scheduled to give another?"

He continued to smile. "Are you interested in working as a coroner?"

"Actually, I work for the coroners office in San Francisco currently, but I like to sit in on these lectures since they are so informative." Sara grinned, shifting her bag on her shoulder. "Your's is by far the most interesting I've heard, and I'd love to come listen to you again whenever you'll be back in town."

"I appreciate the compliment. I should be back next week, I'm doing a lecture on decomp analysis when insects are present. Would you be interested in that?"

"If you're giving the lecture, Mr. Grissom, I'm interested!" Sara replied excitedly. "I'll be there. Thank you for your time."

"Certainly." Grissom stared after the woman as she walked out of the hall, her smile still with him.

He always enjoyed hearing that students appreciated his lectures, but something about this woman seemed to be much more. She actually practiced what he was lecturing about, and really understood. And she was a woman! Not that he was sexist by any means, he thought with a chuckle. But to find a woman who had the same curiosity as him was very intriguing.

With that thought, he packed up his belongings and wandered outside to the campus, where in the distance he saw Sara sitting down with a girl friend, reaching into her bag for her lunch.

Yes, he thought, he couldn't wait to see her again.

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He unlocked his front door and stepped inside, closing it quietly behind him. His dog padded in before him, waiting patiently for his master to release him of his leash. Gil unclipped the leash and patted the dog gently before standing up and resigning to collapse onto his sofa.

Exhausted, he sighed and remembered why he had stayed home in the first place. Work was no place to be when you were sick as a dog.

Suddenly, his cell phone on his coffee table began to ring. At first he considered not answering it, but after a few rings he picked it up. When he saw Sara's name on the caller ID he smiled.

"Hi." He answered, laying back on the sofa and stretching out his legs.

"Hi, Gil." Sara replied. "How was work today?"

Gil laughed. "It was decent…I'm still sick, you know."

"You need to rest! Tell them not to call you in for another few days."

"You know I can't do that." He answered, feeling slightly better at hearing her voice. "So how is everything? Are you settled in yet?"

"For the most part…my stuff's still mostly in boxes but I just haven't been in the mood to unpack." Sara paused. "I'm going to go see my mother tomorrow."

"What will you talk to her about?"

Sara sighed. "I don't know, the usual I guess…I'm sure she'll want to hear all about you."

"You tell her whatever you want, Sara. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear you're back in town."

"Yeah…hopefully. I miss you, Gil."

He felt his lips curve into a smile. "I miss you too."

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Sara hated prisons. She hated being near them, in them, around them…just anything having to do with them. Probably because they had been a continuous part of her life since she could remember.

Seeing her mother was important to her, and she still liked to think that she maintained at least a decent relationship to the woman who'd sacrificed her own happiness to ensure her children were safe.

Her mother had always been there for her, at least emotionally. Even though Sara was young when her mother was convicted of murder and sent to prison, she still managed to stay in contact with her. Not that her foster parents weren't there for her, but she still needed her own mother.

Every year for her mother's birthday she would bring her an updated photo of herself, hoping that her mother would feel more connected with her daughter's life. Today wasn't her birthday, but Sara still felt it would make them both feel better if she brought some photos along.

The doors opened with a load buzzing sound, signaling a visitor. Sara was lead along to the conversation windows, where she took a seat and waited for her mother to enter.

She heard another buzz and watched as the inmates trudged in and took seats across from their visitors. When her mother sat across from her Sara smiled and reached for the bright yellow phone to her right, signaling for her mother to do the same.

Laura Sidle's long brown hair was slightly wavy like her daughters, her eyes a similar chocolate brown. She looked much older than her 58 years, and there were gray streaks beginning to weave their way into her hair. Her smile was still youthful though, at least to Sara, who had always considered her mother to be young at heart.

"Hi Mom." Sara said softly, reaching up and placing her hand against the glass that separated them. Laura did the same, their palms lining up almost perfectly.

"Hi baby…how are you?" Laura replied, smiling at her daughter.

"I'm okay…have been better, but okay." Sara responded with a laugh, trying to shrug it off. "How have you been holding up?"

"Oh, you know me. Same old, same old."

"I brought you some pictures…I know it's not your birthday but I thought I'd surprise you." Sara reached into her bag and pulled out the pictures, motioning to the guard to inspect them and take them to Laura on the other side of the wall.

A few minutes later the guard handed the pictures to Laura and she flipped through them excitedly.

"Oh, baby, it's you and Gil!" She giggled, turning the picture to show Sara. "You two are just lovely together."

Sara felt her heart drop. How could she tell her mother that she had abandoned him in Vegas?

"I've moved back to San Francisco." Sara said suddenly, startling her mother.

"What? Why?" Laura asked, setting the pictures down on the tabletop.

"I couldn't handle all the death anymore…it was time to move on, Mom…I mean I was there for almost eight years when I had only planned on being there for maybe two weeks."

"But you'd always told me that Vegas felt like home to you…that you were so happy there."

"I was…I really was." Sara replied with a heavy sigh. "And Gil, God Mom he was what made me the happiest that I've ever been. But I was just withering away from everything else, so I took charge of the situation and left."

Her mother smiled at her then. "Well you know that I'm the last person who will ever judge you for following your heart, baby. If this is what makes you happy, then it's for the best."

"That's just it Mom…I'm happy to be away from that city, but I miss him so much. I talk to him all the time, but it's just not the same…I hurt him badly. I'll never forgive myself for that."

"He forgives you, I know he does. That Gil is a very forgiving man. And a very understanding one. He knows that you'll come around sooner or later."

Sara laughed sarcastically. "And what if I never get over it? What if I can't find the courage to go back?"

"You will, baby." Laura said softly, holding her hand out to her daughter again. "When the time is right, you will."

0 0 0

It seemed like every Monday Gil was shuffling through mountains of paperwork. He didn't know how it happened, but without fail he could always expect to face dozens of messages and paperwork to be rifled through. It almost made him want to call in sick just to get away from it. But then he'd remember the reasons why he loved being a CSI in the first place, and realize that the paperwork was only a minor setback. How could he sit at home while there were crimes to be solved?

Sitting at his desk, he sighed and reached for the first paper on the huge stack in front of him. Reaching for his reading glasses, he put them on and began to read. After about three lines his vision began to blur and he realized he was probably too tired to do paperwork.

It would still be there in a couple hours anyways, he thought with a chuckle as he stood up and ventured out into the lab to see what his subordinates were up to.

He spotted Nick getting finger print results back, and noticed his casual flirting with the tech. Gil couldn't help but laugh and shake his head at the younger man's insistent chasing of the opposite sex. He couldn't remember ever being like that. He'd always been somewhat shy and nerdy, sticking to faithful books and science.

Women seemed to gravitate to him more than he gravitated to them; like Lady Heather and Sofia. While he'd been somewhat interested, those women had never really captured more than just physical attraction from Grissom. Only Sara had become intimate with him on an intellectual level.

He realized then just how much he missed her being in the lab. Whenever he'd had a sudden idea, Sara was always the first person he'd run to tell it to. While the other CSI's would listen and most likely understand what he was thinking, Sara was the only one he could trust to never judge him for it and to really appreciate his insight.

Sara, unlike most of the other crew, appreciated his rambling quotes of Shakespeare and Keats and understood how it related to the matter at hand, while the other CSI's merely rolled their eyes.

That, he decided with a sigh, was something he greatly missed.

As he turned the corner, he nearly crashed into a hectic looking Catherine, who had been racing through the halls at way too fast a pace.

"Gil!" she exclaimed, her eyes going wide. "Gil, something's happened."

Sudden worry clenched his gut. "What is it?"

"Someone left a baby in a little basket on the front steps of the lab!"

Relief hit him in a smooth wave. No one was hurt. That was always his greatest fear, since he acted like a father to most of the CSI's.

"Does anyone know where it came from?"

"She just appeared out of no where. No one saw anyone come by or leave…but Gil, there's something really weird about this one."

"What could be weirder than abandoning a baby on the front steps of a crime lab?" Gil joked, and by the annoyed look in Catherine's eyes realized it was uncalled for.

"There was a letter in the basket…whoever wrote it wants Sara Sidle to take care of her."

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That's all for now…….more to come very soon!! Thanks for reading!! 3