perturbation
ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/
noun
1. anxiety; mental uneasiness.
"she sensed her friend's perturbation"
()
2. a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.
"these shifts and swings in wildlife populations are possibly related to climatic perturbations"
()
3. A small distortion (from its normal shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object.
"her time travel was a perturbation"
Prologue 1 of 1. / Present Time. / 0YRS 0MNS 0DYS left.
"A Timely Miracle"
(please note that this story is set before the end of the war and Sasuke's appearnance on the battlefield)
Ash.
A tall blanket of ash layered onto the burnt substance that had been created out of nothing but chakra, dirt, fire and blood; gallons upon gallons of crimson liquid, soaking each particle of ash into a mush so pungent and vulgar that even the sight of it could cause nausea.
Ash.
The air itself had become polluted with ash alone, the battlefield covered in a murk so thick and uneven that even the Hyuugas might have had trouble seeing the faces of both their allies and their enemies in it.
Ash.
Hands had become painted in a mixture of ash and sweat, turning their skin into a harsh texture and an appearance that looked as if a cigarette had been held against their skin for hours on end.
Ash.
Open wounds and cuts infected by the large capacity of ash, the strange material causing trouble for even the highest level of medical ninjas with its small, easily shifting shape that could effortlessly hurt anything with its dangerous properties.
Ash.
The colour of pure evil and hatred, submerging every inch of every person, every object, every part of the land- Everything, completely tainted by the colour that moulded fear into the very hearts of children.
And it was everywhere, the ash, signalling the destruction that had just taken place, signalling the effort wasted in the past years, signalling of what could be the end of the world... Ash.
That was the start of everything, the start of when I began to doubt how successful we could actually be in defeating this evil that we were forced to face. Whilst we were starving and sleepless, malnourished and dilapidated, mentally unstable and dehydrated, we fought like we were born to do it.
And, honestly, we were.
We were ninjas, after all, born to fight and born to train and born to protect and born to put our lives on the line if we had to; we were raised to be machines, I've come to realise, killing machines with the purpose of destruction and destruction alone, hidden behind titles such as 'protector' and 'saviour'. We have all unknowingly been manipulated into a path that most of us don't want to follow... but what else can we do?
We can't simply abandon our homes and families, because, even though we are trained to kill, we are also trained to be strong- Strong enough to protect the ones we love and strong enough to fend for ourselves. 'Ninja' is all we know, it's all we are, and we can do nothing but embrace that fact. 'Ninja' is also a team, a new family, an ancestry that millions have in common; although we kill, we also can heal and defend, hide and conceal, create and consume.
If winning this war is the only way that the world can remain existent, than even I, a medical ninja, will destroy and contribute to create more ash. If our own evil ways are the only thing that can fight the evil ways of our enemies, then so be it. We will fight, just like we always have. We will fight, resistant to the darkness that we ourselves have contrived.
At least, whilst we fight, the reality that we cannot win will be pushed aside and ignored, our only life force and strength remaining tangible even when we reach a state so pitiful; hope. The sweet yet deceiving concept of hope, the only real reason that we can continue to fight even when our chakra depletes so much so that it seems as if we're never going to get it back. Even when we fall and begin to believe that we have reached the end of the line, a blinding ray of hope picks us up and forces us to continue, despite the agonising pain and cancerous exhaustion begging us to stop. Hope, caused by the littlest of things- a memory, a scent, an object, even a colour- manages to become our guiding, guardian angel.
With hope, we believe that we can win. With hope, a euphoric peace can be achieved. With hope, we will become triumphant. When this war ends, and we are the victors (because we will be), all our petty battles that we once had among ourselves will be forgotten- We will be a nation united by brotherhood and friendship, a nation that fought through literal hell together, and, because of this, a harmony will be achieved.
God, who am I kidding?
Even after such a war, we humans are unable to obtain a peace that legendary Gods and spirts have failed to; we were trained to fight, it has been hardwired into our brains and it will take generations for us to even realise that we have been built into these mindless machines. We will remain 'Ninja' for lifetimes to come, but, honestly, our fighting habits are not the cause of this war.
Greed is the cause of this war, a want for absolute power and control is the cause of this war, Madara is the cause of this war. Of course, he solely does not have the entire blame (we all are at fault, honestly) but that wicked, twisted man is a master of deception and manipulation and he has pulled even the greatest of ninjas along by mere threads.
And what can we do?
Continue to fight desperately, even when we are fully aware that the war is as good as over and we are not the victors? Waste our strength, our health and our mentality for something as pointless as inevitable defeat?
We can do nothing.
"Sakura?"
My name, uttered by countless members of the alliance, is the only reminder of the days when everything was okay- The days when my keen eyes were innocent and naïve, my expectations of the world simple and sweet. The days that now seem like pure fantasy, as if I'd dreamt those days many years ago. The days I'd give everything to return to, even if it was just for a mere second.
When had it all gone wrong?
When had I stopped believing that everything was going to turn out okay?
When had I grown up and faced reality?
"Sakura," the voice repeats, only, this time, more persistently, "I'm talking to you,"
Huh?
I blink, forcing myself out of my daydream and back into reality. Right, I was supposed to quickly fetch some medical supplies from the one tent set up on the battleground and return to help Naruto with his recent wounds... Although, judging by the time that's passed, I'm willing to bet that Kurama has already sorted him out.
As I turn around to assist the woman calling my name, I come face-to-face with no one but my legendary sensei, her chocolate orbs firm and judging. She has a few scratches along her cheek and legs (clearly caused by poised shuriken and kunai) and her clothes are beyond simply battered and dirty; the effects of war are evident on the courageous woman, thick bags under her sleep ridden eyes and her skin an unhealthy, pale colour.
But she still looks as determined and firey as ever, her gaze strong and meaningful as if she's trying to prove a point- That point most likely being that the Alliance will win.
This is the same look that I'd first had, before everyone I did and didn't care about died in my very arms, when I too believed that we could win. This was the same look I'd used to submerge hope in my comrades, accompanied by the same smile that I always managed to flawlessly fake.
"Tsunade-Shishou, what seems to be the problem?" I ask her, my eyes subconsciously dropping to the floor in an effort to showcase my exhaustion, "Who needs my help?"
"Everyone," the blonde answers without skipping a beat, snorting slightly as if I'd asked a question so painfully obvious, "We're at war, Sakura, everyone is hurt and dying, just some are hurting less and some are dying slower,"
In this exact moment, I notice something. For the first time in my life, I see something flare in the deep brown eyes of the woman I respect more than anyone, a flare so rare and so strange that I almost gasp aloud.
She's scared.
Her hands, that are no longer gloved, are shaking ever so slightly (so slightly that I managed to ignore it at first) and beads of sweat are cascading down her forehead, her throat is constantly swallowing lumps of spit and bile, and her eyes echo nothing but untainted fear.
She, the most fearless woman I know, is petrified with that exact emotion.
She's scared.
"You don't think we'll win, do you?" I ask, my voice and expression void of all emotion. It's not really a question, it's more of a statement than anything, though I'll put a question mark down as it's what I was taught in the academy. She doesn't respond verbally, although she does give a weak smile, which has always been enough for me to confirm whatever it is that I'm asking.
Tsunade was a very 'actions speak louder than words' type of person, like Naruto, and I suppose she still is now. As hokage, you're expected to give a few moving speeches in your lifetime and, though Tsunade's speeches could indeed move mountains, her expressions and the things she did were far more of a persuasion than any word she could utter.
As both a teacher and an ally, Tsunade is someone I treasure more than most; yes, I look up to her as if she's on the highest pedestal (she is my inspiration), but I also want to protect and support her and guide her and just generally be someone she confides in. The woman has trained me into a capable shinobi and, for that, she has my eternal gratitude, but she has also allowed me to trail after Sasuke without a word of complaint and she's also shown me so much kindness that, at times, it has overwhelmed me when knowing how much she'd be willing to sacrifice for me. In the space of five or so years, after assisting her through so many medical-ninja and hokage related things, our relationship has blossomed into that of undying and indisputable understanding and trust; I honestly love her. The firey, compassionate woman has become like a second mother to me, and I love her.
"I don't know, Sakura," She answers back truthfully, not even an ounce of her stress hidden behind her usual mask; she's showing me raw emotion, something she doesn't do every often, and I almost begin to feel my eyes water at the sight. Fear, uncertainty, hope, exhaustion, pain, aggravation, impatience, wisdom, stubbornness, uselessness- All clearly broadcasted in her dying, hardened eyes, "I'm waiting for a miracle, although a part of me doubts it'll come. This battle has gone on for too long; everyone is reaching their limits. We're humans above all, unlike our enemies, and our physical limitations are taking their toll on our bodies,"
"But what can we do, Shishou? We can't stop fighting nor can we continue at the rate we're going… Even Naruto is losing his energy. Us medical ninjas can barely heal ourselves and, if this continues, some of us might have to result into fighting, and, by 'us', I'm not referring to me or you who can fight, I'm referring to those that have only ever been trained to heal,"
"I know, Sakura, I know, but we're drawing a blank on alternatives. We've been rendered useless and, honestly, it is the most irritating thing that I've ever witnessed. Even I, a Sanin, cannot do anything to help Naruto and the others. I have to heal, but, if I heal, I cannot fight and if I don't heal then we're all going to die at an even faster rate. We're losing this battle, Sakura, and nothing but pure luck and a miracle will allow us to turn the tables," Tsunade explodes, gripping her blonde hair in frustration.
"There is one miracle that we could try," I state, after a moment of silence, remembering a discussion that took place a few months back.
And that's all I do. I don't even need to say another word as Tsunade instantly knows what I'm referring to and, by the look that crosses her face, I know that she also realises that it's all we can do. But, in doing so, our world will instantly come to an end and, if we cannot fix what we need to fix, that's it. It's all over.
"Yes, there is, but there's a very slim chance that it'll work and, if it doesn't, we have basically ensured our loss to Madara,"
"That may be so, Shishou, and forgive me for saying this, but we've already ensured our loss. We're not going to win no matter how much more Naruto draws on Kurama to help and no matter how many miracles we manage to chance upon- The only miracle that will save us is this one,"
"You're not even supposed to know of it," She blurts out, referring to the forbidden jutsu, "You're not supposed to know of the Time Travel phenomenon we've recently discovered, let alone want to attempt it,"
"But I do know of it, and it's all that we can do at the moment," I reason, a slight and awkward smirk crossing my face as I realise the victory is mine when she lets out a quiet sigh.
"But who will do it? Who will actually travel through time and possibly give up everything, huh?" Tsunade argues, although I know she's given in, leaning against the setup of medical supplies on a worn-out table.
The tent is quite large, a magnolia colour with hints of dirt and mud blackening it just a little bit, and is quite a basic, rectangular shape. Three poles support the tent from the inside, one in the middle and two at each of the entrances on either side. Two make-shift beds are unoccupied on one side of the tent, whilst the other side is covered in containments for all kinds of medical herbs, antidotes, tools, bandages, along with a few guides to help the newer medical ninjas or the ones from less developed countries. Between these containments is a table with the very basic of equipment that mostly treat the disease and infections caused by being in this type of terrain and the constant openness of scratches and cuts.
Although the material of the tent is quite thick, I can still make out the screams and sobs of the dying shinobis and their allies, the sound of clacking metal and gushes of chakra almost a melody that I can't seem to shake out of my head. Despite hating the smell more than the people that cause it themselves, blood has become almost like a perfume as, recently, I can't seem to get away from that revolting stench, especially since I have to handle that disgusting liquid on an almost more-than-hourly basis. Even now, stains of crimson cover my battle gear- the classic green flak jacket and the navy blue pants and shirt- as if it is actually a part of my uniform.
"I don't know- someone who will be able to sustain the mental drain and trauma caused by time travel, which is purely experimental at this stage. The person will die in this world, I'm presuming, and the jutsu might not even work, so it has to be someone willing to give it a go despite the possible consequences, however it can't be someone like Naruto as we need him alive if it doesn't work,"
A give her a look that says everything and nothing at the same time, my teeth clawing at my bottom lip so much so that a small cut forms and blood starts to dribble down my chin.
"You can't honestly mean-"
"I'll do it," I say firmly, wiping anyway dripping blood from my face, more confident that this jutsu will work than I've ever been about anything in my entire life, yet also slightly terrified at the aspect of possibly giving up my life. Everything I fought for in this world, everything I've trained for, everything I've worked towards, will mean nothing if does work and, if it doesn't, I won't be alive to be able to complain. Either way, I could lose everything.
I'm Haruno Sakura, the girl who had luckily made it onto a team of incredible prodigies despite not being one herself, the girl who once had cared more about her hair than her own comrades, the girl who always fell behind said teammates, the girl who wasn't really meant to be a ninja yet forced herself into it anyway, the girl who shouldn't even be a candidate for this insane jutsu; I am weak, little Haruno Sakura with a big forehead and an annoying tendency to cry when things get even the littlest bit tough.
But I am also a ninja, and I have also trained harder than anyone in the past few years.
I am strong, I am tough and I am going to travel back in time and save, if not myself, everyone I have ever cared about. And I will succeed, you can count on it.
; .-;
"Sakura, you're going, huh?" A tearful woman had said to me a while back, her blond hair pulled up into a messy, unbrushed ponytail and her face diseased with worry and sadness. She'd been crying for at least three days straight since I'd told her of the news- I was leaving to join the war, much to her displeasure.
"I'm sorry Kaa-san, but it's my duty. I want to help our people and everyone else with them too; Naruto needs support and a good healer, and that's what I'm going to be for him," I had told her, although I myself had been just as scared as she had been. Both of us knew that my chance of return was little.
"You're duty?" She coughed out, clearly appalled by my use of words, red hot tears now streaming down her face, once again, "Sakura, it is not your duty to die! You are a ninja, not a puppet ready to serve her country and die when needed. War isn't some light-hearted mission, Sakura, you are more likely to die than you are to survive!"
"I know the statistics, ma, I know," I had chuckled out, surprising both myself and my mother with my sudden softness and calm demeanour, "I might die, yes, but I would rather die than not help everyone around me survive; I am a fully-trained medical ninja now, Kaa-san, I will protect everyone. I will protect you and oto-san too and, if I happen to die along the way, at least it will be protecting the people I love," I tightly gripped the woman's hand, my heart breaking slightly when I felt her slender fingers shaking more violently than the Earthquakes I had experienced in Suna.
"God, Sakura, can't you just be selfish for once?" She asked in a way that I could class similar to begging, pulling me into what was probably the tightest embrace I had ever experienced from her, conveying a sense of fear that letting me out of her arms would mean letting me go completely, forever.
But, although I recently had been quite pessimistic, I knew that I'd see her again after the war. We were obviously going to win and I was obviously going to see her again, the world had put me through enough pain that I deserved some good for once, and never seeing my mother again would be the greatest pain of them all.
This woman had raised me and, although I had thought she was the epitome of annoying when I was old enough to become a ninja, she had always supported me when even father wouldn't. This woman was the one regret I had if I didn't survive, because I wanted to, more than anything, see her again and tell her that all her worrying had been in vain.
But I was not ever going to see her again, at least not in this world if I was at all.
; .-;
There are many things I had dreamt of when I was younger that I haven't even began to accomplish; I wanted to teach at the academy some day, I wanted to grow old with a family, I wanted to see my said children grow up, I wanted to finally beat Naruto and show Sasuke how worth it I really was, I wanted to join my team on their pedestal, I wanted to do so, so, so, so many things (such as shop and learn to cook, fall in love, maybe take up another hobby or two) but all of it had been forgotten the moment I lost Uchiha Sasuke.
Although, honestly, right now, I would probably drive a kunai straight through his heart if I saw him, he had completely and utterly broken my heart. Sure, I had barely graced twelve, but he had been my world and losing him, above all, was the moment my life turned upside down. After that, everything went from bad to worse; living became a struggle and, despite being just twelve years of age, I was forced to grow up within a span of seconds.
From that very moment, 'ninja' became a career and not just some hobby that I did light-heartedly because it was what everyone did; training became a much larger priority than how I looked or how I came across to others, missions became increasingly more difficult and I was even expected be willing to kill if it was really necessary.
At twelve-years-old.
Expected to kill. Expected to die for my country. Expected to throw away all emotions. Expected to become a machine.
"It's an agonising process, Sakura," Tsunade tells me, slipping out of the tent to engage me face-to-face, after a moment of consideration. I'm kneeling on the dirt, facing away from the scarlet-stained tent, busing myself with the task of polishing some useful medical tools. As I'm not facing her, I can't see the expression that plagues her face, but I know her well enough that can I can make a pretty accurate guess. "Are you certain you want to do it? Someone else can just-"
"No!" I hiss, turning my torso round to face her so I can cast her a firm glare. My glare says many things to her, I can tell, such as how unwavering my determination is and how unwilling I am to give up. She simply lets out yet another sigh in defeat, like she always seems to do, "I'm not letting anyone else do it, shishou. You say that it's agonising and that I shouldn't do it because of that, but who am I to allow someone else to feel that pain?" I stand up, ignoring my newly muddied outfit and walking a few steps towards her, "As a medical ninja, it is my indisputable duty to take away any form of pain from another, and if that means feeling it myself, then so be it. I want to do this, Shishou,"
As if to prove a point, a reach out to squeeze her hand, offering a saddened excuse of a smile.
"Sakura," She whines to reason, breaking my gaze and allowing herself to let out a slight growl in frustration.
"Shishou," I retort back in the same tone, widening my petty smile in an attempt of persuasion, "I'm the person most capable to do it, you said so yourself when your first purposed the idea months ago. I will succeed, I promise you!" I lower my voice to a desperate whisper, "Please, put all of the trust we've built up over the last few years and put it into me now. Trust me, shishou,"
"Fuck," She removes her hand from my grip, "What am I supposed to do with you?" The blonde rhetorically asks, quietly, bringing her hands up to defensively cover her face. Her face is noticeably redder now, a thick layer of water ready to spill out from the corners of her eyes. "You've come so far from that little genin you were just a few years ago, and it's just kind of over-whelming to see you like this now,"
With her voice cracking from pure heartbreak, the woman continues, constantly pausing and rubbing at her eyes, desperate not to succumb to her emotions by crying. Every word she utters causes a part of me to break inside, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach, a heavy feeling overtaking my entire body. I can imagine my own face is relatively identical to hers, to be honest, though I'm not really paying attention to whatever tears my eyes are begging me to let free. Instead, I soak up her words like a sponge, absorbing each raw emotion shown to me and reflecting it with my own equally melancholy reaction.
"In the years that I've known you, you've always strived to be the greatest you can and your commitment and passion has always been unmeasurable. You're strong, Sakura, and not just physically, but mentally- I cannot name a single person more determined and strong-willed than you. As well as that, your kindness and generosity is just as limitless, and it is that very aspect of you that makes me both detest and adore you. Your kind heart forces you to put everyone before yourself and I hate you for that, Sakura, because you put yourself in the most dangerous of situations for someone else's sake. I love you despite knowing that I shouldn't, my young student, but you honestly need to learn to be a little more selfish and think about your own safety for once. I wrongfully prioritise your life to other people of our village, Sakura, but fine.
"Although I really don't want to allow you to end your life in this world to hope to go to another, I know that, honestly, you'd do it anyway. Rather than being opposed and seeing you leave and being angry with you, I want you to know that you have my undying support and, even across dimensions, I will always be there for you, Haruno Sakura.
"You are my student and I know you will do me proud, as you've done nothing but that so far, and I know you'll be able to continue doing just that. Don't forget who you are, sweetheart, don't allow anyone in that world put you down. You are Haruno Sakura, a student of the legendary sanin Tsunade and an elite member of the Konohagakure Medical Unit, as well as a kind and noble friend to anyone who needs one. Your heart is pure, my not-so-little cherry blossom, do not allow anyone to taint it,"
And that's all it takes to send me into an uninterruptable stream of sobs. A few words from one person who I care about, and any emotional resilience I've built up over the years just crumbles into absolutely nothing.
"Oh fuck, shishou, we don't even know if I'll make it back in time yet, and you're already giving me life advice for it," I cough out whilst trying to be humorous, sobs suffocating my words and tears soaking my clothes, "But thank you, I love you so much,"
"Come now, I've alerted Shikaku that you're willing to do it. He's setting everything up with Shizune and some other members of the alliance- we have to leave now. Naruto and Kakashi are heavily absorbed in their own battles at the moment and cannot give their farewells, but, if I get the chance, I'll tell them that you send your love and that you'll miss them deeply, as well as everyone else too,"
"Alright," I nod, allowing her to take my hand and lead me slightly away from the tent, "But let me just quickly put these tools back in the tent and then we can leave immediately," I slip my hand out of my teacher's death grip and bend back over to pick up the recently polished medical tools, before sliding into the tent for one last time, ever.
; .-;
"So, I suppose we should go over the procedure on our way there," Tsunade reasons, as we hop from tree to tree, "To save time,"
Despite the once beautiful flowers that once completely covered this area and the stunning array of colourful trees, everything has moulded itself into the same ash-like colour of everything else. No life, at least healthy anyway, is anywhere to be seen, hidden away behind death and destruction. The sun, although it being blatantly day, is cast away behind a thick mask of black clouds, the sky plagued by a deep, blood red rather than a vibrant blue or even a dull mixture of grey.
Leaves all a firey orange, fallen like our comrades, as they lie dead on the raven ground (also very much like some of our comrades). The world is in a somewhat apocalyptic setting, with not even a gust of air lingering on the planet; everything is still and lifeless, no animal or bird or little insect anywhere to be found. Funnily enough, to me, it seems as if the world is mourning our loss just like the rest of us, as if even the planet understands how despicable our enemies are.
"Well, for starters, I should probably tell you I don't actually know how the jutsu works- I don't know if it'll actually take you back in time or transfer you to another world. Your mission, however, isn't as simple as saving the world. Save that world, Sakura, but you must also save this world too. There should be an object or a weapon, one that I helped Jiraya, Gai, Kakashi and Asuma destroy just after Naruto returned from his training with Jiraya. It is the sole thing that can end the reanimation technique other than just blatant fighting. I can't really say what it looks like, but you'll know it's what it is when you see it,"
"So, you want me to find this weapon and stop the reanimations? Surely I could just prevent the war in the first place...Why allow it to-"
"Hang on a minute, Sakura, when did I ever say that I want you to use the weapon in that dimension?" The blonde interrupts, chuckling for a reason that I can't really confirm.
Wait.
My mission isn't just to save the world? Then what... Oh. Right, I see now. But, if she's inferring what I think she's inferring, that means that I'll be able to see everyone again after all.
"Shishou, you want me to come back here, don't you? You want me to retrieve the weapon and bring it here, to this time and this world,"
"Exactly," she nods, casting a proud smile to her right, in my direction, "However, you'll have to figure out how to get back yourself. It'll probably be similar to the way you got there, but that might not be possible in that world's circumstances,"
"And if I can't get back here? Or if I can't get hold of the weapon?" I ask, slowing down ever-so-slightly, my previous anxiety gradually crawling back into my system.
"If you can't get back with that weapon, well..." Tsunade hesitates, clearly aware of the answer but not quite willing to say it aloud, "God, Sakura, just get back here,"
I can guess pretty easily, though, but I still want her to say it. I need it to be real- I need to know for a fact how urgent my return is.
"Tsunade-shishou," I say, eagerly, in a way that begs her to just tell me.
And, surely enough, she does just that.
"The world, after you have reached the time in that world that you started the jutsu here, will continue just as normal. If you come back, it will have to be either at that exact moment or seconds later. Sakura, the war will continue just as it is now- we're all going to be in the same sorry, dying state as we currently are. And, if you don't come back, we'll be one down a talented medic and an incredible fighter, as well as a miracle that could save our lives,"
"So, in other words, if I don't come back, you all die," I choke out, my hands shaking at just the very thought of it.
"That's right, Sakura, we'll all die,"
; .-;
We were greeted vaguely by Shizune and the team that Shikaku had gathered, although Shikaku hadn't even bothered to utter anything, though I didn't blame him for it as he was far too absorbed in the task of setting up the seals for the time travel jutsu. We've been waiting for about half an hour since we arrived and I can tell that the setup is almost complete, meaning that, in just a few minutes, I'll hopefully be across dimensions.
Fuck.
That really is a terrifying thought.
I'm going to be young again, a part of a fully functional, drama-less team 7, and with the third as my hokage.
I'm going to be a genin, or maybe even an academy student, again. I'm going to take part in the chunin exams again. I'm going to be with Sasuke again.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Everything is going to be so different again- For once, I'll wake up without having to worry about dying that very day, or, even better, without having to worry about not being able to save someone else from dying. In fact, I won't even be expected to heal anyone. I'll be a child, with almost no expectations at all, other than doing a few D-rank missions here and there, and the very occasional training.
Sweet, blissful and innocent childhood.
That's all.
Well, I mean, theoretically at least. The concept of just enjoying being a child again seems luxurious, but that's all it is- A luxury.
And, I'm on a mission to save not one, but two worlds, I don't have time for any luxuries. Every minute, I'll have to train so I can surpass far beyond my current strength... Actually, about strength, what will happen to my current strength?
I mean, I'll remember how to use chakra in certain ways and my knowledge and everything will be there, but will I be able to apply that said knowledge? Will my body just physically be young and I'll have all my normal attributes working fine, or will I to wait until I've manage to train my chakra back up to my current level? Actually, will I have to even train my chakra or will it all be with me?
Well, there's only one way to find out, I guess.
It's done, I can feel it. The once ink symbols on the ground are now glowing vibrant colours, each corresponding to a different element. All of the respective kages, who I've only just realised are present, are all by the element of their village, and Shizune and Gai are standing on their own symbols drawn slightly away from the main circle.
"Each person symbolises a different elemental chakra," Shikaku explains, although I've already figured that out for myself, "Shizune over there, and Gai who's over there, symbolise medical chakra and the aspect of taijustu- The chakra of physical strength, which can only be unlocked when the eight gates are opened. They will all channel this chakra into you so that it creates another type of chakra, dimensional chakra. Although some can switch between different dimensions anyway, this works quite differently. Where as, with something like the mangekyou sharingan, it's either internal or you're actually physically transported. In this case, however, it is simply your soul that will be transported,"
"I see," I nod, understanding most of it, although it isn't really crucial that I know how it works. I guess it's so I can figure out to come back, maybe?
"However, Sakura, there is one thing I need you to do as well. Although the chakra is probably the most crucial part, we need something both physical and mental to allow you to transport your soul. The physical part being your blood, which normally wouldn't be such a problem, however, in this case, we need more than your typical drop of blood,"
I nod, playing with the ends of my longer than shoulder length hair. It had been much shorter before but, as war has kept me busy, I haven't really been able to recut it. On a side note, I haven't actually bathed in ages- Grime and dirt are tangled in my wavy locks, and I'm sure that dried blood is also in that mixture. I reek of sweat, too, and I'm certain that the unpleasant stench of death is coming from my clothes.
"How much are we talking about?" I ask, slowly and carefully making my way to the middle of the circle, making sure to step between the lines of intricate patterns.
"All of it," he answers back quickly, tossing me a kunai that I'm almost too unprepared to catch. At the last second, though, I twist my wrist, successfully grabbing the blade but piercing my palm in the process.
"Fuck," I curse bitterly, dropping the weapon out of surprise at the unexpected pain. My blood drips onto the ground, hissing as it's absorbed by the ink and directed along the path of the markings, the smallest of bubbles gracing the surface of the crimson liquid just ever-so-slightly. The trail of red stops almost instantly though, disappearing into the ground and leaving nothing but the familiar ink in its place.
Well, that did nothing...
"As I said, it needs a lot of blood, so much that it'll take this whole experience to another level of unpleasant," Shikaku says in a way that's so irritated that I can almost see the mocking tone thick on his very tongue, his eye fixated on me as if he is a predator and I am his prey.
"Shikaku, I've already told you that I want this to be as painless as possible for her, why are you-" Taunade suddenly spits out, being the first voice other than Shikaku's to speak in a while.
"Tsunade-sama, I'm afraid that this is the only way. We don't have the time to sit around and wait for this to work- We have to take immediate action and then proceed to the battlefield. The process, as I explained, will be excruciating for her, but it's either it is what it is or we don't even do the procedure, and I'm afraid the latter is not an option," Shikamaru's father empathises, crossing his arms yet still showing respect to the hokage.
"Sakura-san, if you could take the kunai you dropped and pierce your stomach, though it will hurt a lot, it should be enough blood to last the whole session," Surprsingly, it is Shizune who says this, readying her arms to pump her chakra into the symbols. Very much like her, the other kages and Gai are getting in similar positions too. To avoid any conflict and to also get this whole thing over with, I pick up the kunai without uttering another word.
And that's it. The next thing I know, I have a knife embedded in the pit of my stomach, blood cascading everywhere, the ink glowing the brightest of blue as the chakra starts to enter me.
And fuck, does it hurt.
Pure, untouched pain pulses through me; my throat is on fire, my blood feels itchy under my own skin, my heart burns like a sun itself, even my own tears sting against my face. I can't comprehend any thoughts, my eyes can't see anything, and my mind is all over the place, distorted from the agonising pain.
I'm cruelly aware of every part of my body, conscious of each bone that's shattering and every hair that rests against my skin so uncomfortably. My head feels as if a thousand needles are constantly being jabbed into it, my brain frying itself into a mush as each second passes.
I can even hear my bones, muscles and blood moving, cracking sounds and stretching sounds obnoxiously begging to be heard over the sharp pain that I feel.
Never in my life has something felt so bad and, honestly, I want to die.
I want to just end it all so badly; I feel as if I'm simultaneously being burnt and frozen to death, my body stinging with so much pain that it's starting to numb. I'm crying, screaming so much so that I can't even hear myself doing it anymore, although I know I am. My voicebox aches, but, to be honest, so does everything else.
I don't really know when the pain stopped, but I feel okay now, although my mind is clouded by dizziness and exhaustion. I still can't see anything, and my thoughts are still just an unorganised pile of randomness, but I, in a way, feel liberated.
I can't tell if it's my mind playing tricks on me or if it's a part of the jutsu but, suddenly, I am engulfed in a thick embrace of bright white; there is nothing but white for miles and miles on end, no sky or land. Just white. Pure, untouchable yet completely reachable white.
And then, without a single warning, I see a flower take life from seemingly nowhere. It's small and cute, only consisting of a single stem, one leaf and an assortment of magnolia petals, just distinguishable amongst the white. A lily, I recognise it as, standing elegantly as the only beautiful thing I have seen in months.
I ignore the connotation of what a lily can symbolise, though, not quite wanting to allow any negative thought into my mind as I know it won't help the jutsu at all. I need a clear mind with no wandering thoughts dancing about- Just nothingness.
Well, at the very least, as close to nothingness as I can come.
The flower brings to me a sense of normalcy, to be honest, partially because it stirs up a storm of nostalgia from the days in Konaha at the academy and also partially because it is the first untainted life I have seen since the war began. I can clearly remember making flower chains and crowns, picking up varieties upon varieties of different types of blossoms, laughing and joking with Ino and the rest of the Konaha girls with me at the time (of course, that is excluding Ami Watanbe and her gang of animals). Oh, how petty and irrelevant the drama and bullying of my childhood seem compared to the events of recent. The tears I shed over something as meaningless as my appearance and the heartbreak I had over something as small as a few insults seem almost pathetic now, although that might be because, as of late, even deaths of allies struggle to bring tears to my eyes.
I'm not saying that people dying doesn't upset me enough to cry (because fuck, it really does), it's just that my mentality as come to accept that I don't have the time to cry or even really acknowledge any deaths. Within the passing few months, all I have been able to do is to fight and heal- I've slept for merely five hundred hours within the whole year (despite my usual 2372 as I used to sleep, on average, about six and a half hours a day), surviving off of pills and chakra to keep me awake and give me nutrients, as well as the adrenaline of war. Some days I'd be able to sleep for three hours at the most, while others I either didn't sleep at all or I had about ten minutes. As soon as I'd drift into deep slumber, I'd be forced awake, having to immediately save some ninja's life and then another's after him and another twenty after her and another hundred after them. Then, if I was lucky, I could try to fall asleep again, only to be reawakened within minutes and having to start the whole process again.
Fuck, I really am struggling with this whole 'keep your mind clear' thing. Whoops. That's the Haruno gene for you, sometimes it's almost as if we have more than one person inside of our heads (that's a misconception, by the way, we actually are just incredible at multitasking and we also have a tendency to mask our actual feelings for the benefit of appeal to others as well as a very short temper). My father, especially, can change is mind and attitude so quickly and easily that it's almost as if there's this switch in the back of his head that dictates everything about his mood. I wonder how he's doing, now that I think about it. I wonder if he and okaa-san and everyone else left in the village have any idea how badly the war is going for us, or have any idea that we're going as far as attempting time travel because we're so desperate?
Well, actually, I know for a fact that they have no idea.
And I don't know which saddens me more- The fact that they don't know that they might never see me again or the fact that they have hope of seeing me again. Hope is great, don't get me wrong, but the possible disappointment that follows can be suffocating sometimes and, in our world, we don't have any energy to fight off our own internal demons. In fact, most of the time, we don't even have the time to worry or mourn about anything.
Ah, I'm beginning to go in circles. Sorry, it's a habit of mine, especially when I'm anxious, to repeat information in my head- It helps me relax, knowing what is what and how things are, following a system of if things have changed and how and why they've changed and what I can do to either prevent, help or accomplish something… God, I loathe curiosity; it's like a seemingly endless ditch in the ground that you know you shouldn't leap into but you do it anyway- you never know what's going to be at the bottom of it (and nine times out of ten, it's never something good) but you just really want to know anyway, because that's how the human mind works. I'm a medical ninja, I've studied the mind in depths far greater than this metaphorical ditch I've made up, but I still don't really understand it. Why did I even agree to this whole time travel thing anyway? To save the world, obviously. But I could die in the process and that would mean that our side just lost an elite medical ninja/decent fighter… This could quite easily do more harm than good.
Why am I thinking? I'm not supposed to be thinking. Stop thinking. Fuck, why is the brain so loud? Why can't I just stop my internal voices from screaming? Why am I- I'm doing it again. I'm thinking. I shouldn't be thinking. My lack of self-control is pitiful, all I need to do is stop, but why can't I?
Wait. That's it.
The jutsu. I've done it. I can feel it, although I don't know when I starting feeling it, but I can just feel success in my bones. The jutsu had been completed.
And sure enough, as I thrust myself forwards, my torso coming upright from a sleeping position, my heart beating mercilessly, I find myself in the very room I grew up in.
It actually worked.
Okay, so I know I have a lot of editing to do at a later date but I was really happy to finally get this prologue done so I just posted it immediately. Also, I apologise for any OOCness (but it is a fanfiction so you should expect at least some anyway), any cringe (because I'm sappy AF) and for the awful narration of this chapter. It will improve at some point after I edit it, I promise xD
Anyhow, hello there! ~ You can call me Karamel and I will be the author of this story. I'm really happy if anyone had actually taken the time to read this, so thank you ;3; I have fallen in love with the concept of time travel as of recent and have finally decided to do something with this passion of mine. Yes, I am fully aware that there are hundreds upon hundreds of other time travel-based Naruto fanfictions out there but I have yet to come across one quite like what I've planned.
The SasuSaku will be quite a slow process, I warn you, as I've decided to take a very non-Sakura route of Sakura and make her over Sasuke at the moment (obviously that will change, and probably quite soon too xD) as, to be honest, he was a dick to her most of the Shippuden series.
I have read up to the final chapter of Naruto and Naruto Gaiden as well as having watched all of the films so I am aware of how Naruto actually ends, but I decided that I wanted this to be set before Sasuke arrives on the battlefield to join the alliance. Speaking of, the war arc in this is not completely the same as in Naruto as the battles at the time of this chapter were random. This is just 'The Fourth Great Shinobi War' against Madara. Bearing that all in mind, I hope you all enjoy the story nonetheless ;DD
All of the characters (if I have decided against OCs which is very probable) and most concepts belong to Masashi Kishimoto, although the storyline is very much mine apart from some events that may occur due to timetravel.
Please review, follow and favourite as I would love to hear all of your opinions and clear up any confusion about anything written so far.
Until next time, my lovelies ~~
xox