permanent monday, a naruto fanfic

'Cause every time you go away
The sunshine starts to fade
Frozen by the hands of time into a
Permanent Monday
Take me back into your arms
And don't ever let me go
'Cause when I see you walk through that door
I'm not lost anymore
I'm home
I'm home

—Jordin Sparks, Permanent Monday

-o-

Prologue: Monday

-o-

Today is Monday.

I don't like Mondays. Not for the reasons you think. Sure, the whole end-of-the-weekend going-back-to-school thing sucks, but that's not why. Besides, I've always been good in school.

Monday was the day my mother died.

I still remember it perfectly. I was at school, in math class, working through problem eight, page three hundred and thirty-seven. Then, the school secretary paged me through the speaker, which was a surprise, because my parents were both at work and I'd never gotten in trouble at school before.

I still remember everything—the shock of seeing my father there, looking haggard and heartbroken and so scared that it scared me just looking at him. And the way his voice cracked when he told me—"Sakura, your mother—she's—she's dead"—and how the world started to spin when my father broke down and the principal started talking about the car and the intersection light that had stopped working without anyone to fix it—

I haven't walked anywhere. Not since then. I think we're kind of broken, my father and I, like a plate that's been snapped clean in half, with no one to glue it back together. If we don't get helped out soon, I think everything's just gonna fall apart, with no hope of ever being pieced together again.

There used to be someone that I though might be able to fix me, so that I could then help my dad to sort of fix himself. I called him Sasuke-kun, and he was beautiful and brilliant and irresistible and as distant as the stars themselves.

I was just being pulled back together, ready to draw in the last line of glue, when he left, chasing after that brother of his. Itachi. I hate Itachi more than anything, because he took Sasuke-kun away from me, but mostly because as soon as Sasuke-kun left, the not-quite dry glue became too weak to hold together all the heavy pieces. Everything fell apart, right back to where it started.

Except—

I think Sasuke-kun took a few pieces with him. Because whenever I try to find that part of me, the part the believed in love and hope and dreams come true, it's gone. Not there. Just—vanished.

It held on through my mother's death, but it couldn't hold on through Sasuke-kun's departure. Funny, huh?

Sasuke-kun made it better. Sasuke-kun tricked me—made me think he was the One. He made me wonder if—

If maybe, one day, Mondays wouldn't have to be so bad.

But like I said, now he's gone (three and a half months now). And since then—well, every day has felt like Monday.

But maybe—

Maybe today, things will change. Maybe it'll get better. Maybe—

Maybe I still believe in happy endings.

But Sasuke-kun's gone now, and fairy tales don't happen. Not anymore. Not to me. So—

I ignore that little feeling deep inside, nudging me to admit to the feeling in my bones: Today will be a good day.

Mom always said to listen to what your instincts tell you.

Going into a numb frenzy, I speed up my routine and make it out of the house in three minutes flat.

-o-

Even though I try to forget that feeling in my bones, I can't ignore it completely. There is a faint upturning of the corners of my lips; a spring in my step; that hasn't been there in a while.

There was a time when I would have walked to school with Ino, giggling about Sasuke-kun and this month's most popular soap opera all the way. But Ino's not here anymore. She left, with her boyfriend, Shikamaru Nara, right after Sasuke-kun went chasing after Itachi.

Do I blame her? I don't know. Ino's protected me my entire life, but she can be a bit flighty sometimes. Besides, she loves Shikamaru—she really does. Half the time—well, more than half the time—he might be out watching the clouds or taking a nap on the sofa or just watching Chouji eat barbequed potato chips, but Ino and Shikamaru have something special.

And I really, really don't want to take that away from her.

Now, I'm almost to school, and I see Sai among the crowd. Sai dated Ino for a while, but he turned out gay. It really wasn't a surprise, given his constant obsession with the…erm…male reproductive system.

"Hello, Hag," he says cheerfully, waving to me.

I roll my eyes and cuff him on the head, a bit harder than normal. "Don't call me that!"

Sai barely conceals a flinch, and gives me a bright, but fake, smile. "You're hitting harder than normal," he comments. "You seem livelier today, Hag. Have you finally found a way to get rid of your sexual repression?"

I glare, and hit him on the head once more. But it's true—I do feel livelier today, like there's something to look forward to. So why shouldn't I take the chance and hurt Sai more than I normally would?

Shrugging my backpack back onto my shoulders, I continue inside. I've known most of these people my entire life—Temari and Gaara and Kankurou and Lee and Neji and Tenten and Chouji and Hinata and Kiba and Shino and, unfortunately, Sai. I love them all, so much—

But they're not the kind of person I could just let in, you know? And every time I try, something holds back. It's like there's a rubber band inside of me that will snap if I reach out too far, so I guess I really need someone to just reach out to me.

I sigh to myself. I really am pathetic, aren't I? Just waiting for my knight in shining armor. Maybe he'll come today, a small part inside of me thinks, maybe that's why you all of a sudden feel so alive—

But no. He won't. Sasuke Uchiha was supposed to be my knight, but he decided to go chasing after the dragon forgot about the princess, left alone in the dungeon.

Now that I think of it, my life bears a striking resemblance to a fairy-tale of sorts.

The warning-bell rings as I reach my locker, snatch my books, and go racing off to class. Asuma-sensei waves me in lazily, and I frown at the cigarette hanging off the corner of his lip. My mother used to call them—

I swallow. Cancer on a stick, I remember distantly, biting my lip. It's been a while since I've been able to remember anything about my mom without being consumed by a horrible, empty sadness, but now I just want to cry. Speaking of which—

I never did. Cry, that is. I kept my grief distant, pushed away with one hand, because I didn't want to have to deal with it. I couldn't.

As I slide my Harry Potter book out of my purse and flip open to my favorite part in the entire series (when Ron and Hermione fight the troll and first become friends; because God, there meant for each other) I wonder if it's time to finally release all my pent-up grief. Is that why I've been so lonely lately?

I immediately shy away from the prospect. Release my grief, no way!

And that's when I decide that I need help. Really. This is not healthy, and I will talk it out with someone.

And once more I shrink away, as if I was fighting a vicious beast with no hope of victory. I really need someone right now; really, really need someone right now—

Almost on instinct, I perk up. Something's about to happen and I don't want to miss it—

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

I peek around my Harry Potter book, to see a blond boy at the front of the class, a bright smile pasted on his face. I don't know why, but—

He seems like the type that could fix things. Change them. Keep on going, until everything good and whole again.

Like maybe help a fifteen year-old girl paste together the porcelain heart the broke into a million pieces nine months ago today.

Like maybe make Monday good again.

Maybe. But then he openes his mouth again—

"Ramen is my favorite thing in the entire world! I eat it for breakfast and lunch and dinner and sometimes in-between..."

—and Monday's suck once more.

Ugh. Mondays.

(I stoutly ignore the part of my brain that imposes the sentiment, He looks…a bit like someone you could maybe-kinda-sorta fall in love with. Because, really, who believes in things as dumb as true love anymore? It's too hard to add on the years by loving and losing the people closest too you. Not when life's already so short. But, still, that same part of my brain insists.)

Uzumaki Naruto.

I guess, somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, I'll remember that.

Even if life's too short.

Even if I don't believe in love anymore.

Even if today's a Monday.

Well yay. OOCness galore ;D. This is my second Naruto fic, and my first NaruSaku. The other chapters will probably be a bit longer than this one, since it's only the prologue. Tell me what you thought, please!