"Love Potion No. 9"
Sometimes.... there comes a time in a guy's life where they just have to face the facts. They have to look in the mirror, keep a straight face and say, honestly, without any doubts.... "I have a girl problem".
It was true, for me at the time... I had a DEFINITE girl problem. I couldn't get a date to save my life... ESPECIALLY not with Hikari, the girl I idolized. So, I had to do something about it. After all, I couldn't stay like this forever, right?
I had seen the ad in the classified section of the newspaper. Ordinarily, I would laugh my head off at something like this, but let's face it, I was desperate. So when I saw an advertisement for "Madam Rue's Love Potion", I decided that it would be worth a try. After all, I had tried everything else, from new cologne to trying to impress Hikari with my "charm". This seemed like my last hope...
And, my friends, that's how I found myself down on the corner of 34 and Vine, trying to get my courage up to open the door and actually get some help. I'd heard about this Madam Rue person... people said she was a crazy old gypsy lady covered with fake tattoos. But at the time, I wouldn't have cared if she was the Bride of Frankenstein. I really, REALLY needed help.
When I stepped into the shop, it took my eyes a few minutes to adjust to the dim light. The air smelled like incense and old, dusty dried flowers.... it gave me the creepy feeling that you get when you go into one of those stereotypical "haunted" houses. I looked around with eyes wide open, hoping to get out of there as soon as possible. "Madam Rue?" I called, squinting. "Hey! Is anyone here or what?!"
"Just a minute! I'll be right with you!" came a voice from the back room.
Instantly I was confused. She sounded much younger than I had thought... and more cheerful, too. Had the kids from school just been joking around with me when they said Rue was an old gypsy?
It didn't take long before Madam Rue came from the back room and greeted me... but all I could do was stare at her in shock. Because, well, she wasn't exactly what I expected. In fact, she wasn't Madam Rue at all.
"Miyako?" I burst out, staring at my friend with eyes the size of dinner plates. "What are YOU doing here? Where's Rue?"
"Oh, I work here part time!" she replied, grinning. "And you kind of came at a bad time.. Madam Rue left on her lunch break." Her expression quickly turned serious. "What the heck are YOU doing here, any way? I thought you didn't believe in this kind of stuff."
"I.. er...." before I could think of some excuse, she cut me off.
"Now that I think of it, Madam Rue only sells potions...." her eyebrow arched and her mouth turned up at the corners. "And, if I remember correctly, they're all LOVE potions."
I had dug myself into a hole with no way out... and now that I was stuck, there was only one thing to do. Surrender.
"Okay, look, Miyako," I said, sighing. "I admit it.... I'm desperate. Hikari just... doesn't notice me.. and I figured that since I tried anything else, it wouldn't hurt giving this a try. Okay? Now, don't tell any one about this, or I'll kill you." And I meant it, too. Not that it would matter.. if word of this got out, I'd be laughed at for the rest of my life.
But, she just smiled and laughed, as if there was nothing bizarre about it at all. "Actually, I was wondering when you'd get desperate enough to drop in. Not a problem, I'll set you up." And she grabbed my hand and dragged me into the back room without a second thought.
"Hey! Shouldn't I wait for-"
"Oh, no, no, I'm quite qualified. Just you wait!"
I paled. If I knew anything about Miyako, it was this: when she says something like that, it means trouble.
This room was lighter than the first, but filled with burning candles. In the centre was a small table with a crystal ball on it, and Miyako sat down and indicated that she wanted me to sit on the other side of the table.
As I took a seat, I looked at her suspiciously. "I thought I was going to get potion, not have my future told," I muttered, slightly annoyed. 'What am I getting myself into?'
"Oh, you'll get the potion," she assured me, smiling. "I just need to check out your palm first."
"My what?"
"Your hand, silly!"
I held my hand out to her, still rather suspicious. What did palm reading have to do with this?
After much "hmm"ing and "aahh..."ing, she looked up from my hand and grinned. "Just as I thought," she said brightly, eyes sparkling.
"What's just as you thought?" I asked, looking at her strangely.
"You have no belief in this whatsoever!" She laughed and shook her head. "Oh well... it's not a problem."
I was beginning to.. no, I WAS annoyed with her. "So, am I going to get this potion or not?"
"Oh, you'll get it all right," Miyako said, winking at me. "In fact, I'm going to make it up riight here in the sink."
"Are you sure that's legal?"
"Just you watch."
Minutes later, I was holding a small bottle filled a murky, foul-smelling liquid. "What did you call this stuff?" I asked as I dipped my finger in it.
"Love Potion Number Nine," Miyako replied as she washed the excess potion down the drain. "It's Madam Rue's secret recipe."
"And does it... work?" Of course, I was a bit sceptical. To tell you the truth, the potion smelled like turpentine and looked a bit like Indian Ink. In a few words, it wasn't the kind of stuff I'd swallow willingly.
Miyako rolled her eyes and glared at me. "Of COURSE it works," she scoffed. "In fact, back in the seventies, Madam Rue had one customer who hadn't had a date since 1956. After she gave him the potion, BAM! He got a girlfriend! How's that for ya, Mr Smarty Pants?"
I couldn't help it... her expression was so smug, so self-confident that I decided.... I would give it a try. And if I died from it, at least I wouldn't have to worry about never getting a date. So I held my nose, closed my eyes.. and took a drink of the horrible stuff.
I lost all sense of knowing.... my eyes turned dark, and I didn't know if it was day or night. But there was nothing else.... I had thought that I would at least feel weird, but there was nothing... not even a bizarre after taste.
"Are you SURE this stuff works?" I asked her for what felt like the millionth time.
"Yeah, of course it works! All you have to do is go out there and find Hikari. In fact, you can go right now. I'll give you this one for free. 'kay?" Miyako grinned and washed the remainder of the potion down the sink. "As long as Madam Rue doesn't find out, I don't see why you can't have a freebie. After all, you needed it..."
I smiled. "Gods, Miyako... I could kiss you for this.."
Her expression was instantly awash with disgust. "Ugh. Don't say that, PLEASE. I'm already taken, boy. An' there's your proof right there... I never would've gotten Koushiro away from that stupid computer of his if it weren't for that stuff. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind about not makin' you pay."
I was out of there like a flash of light, hoping to the gods that she had a real reason to be so confident.
Now, I don't know if it was fate or luck or what, but as soon as I got out of there I came across Hikari. Gods... she was like an angel.. more than usual that day, though perhaps it was just because I was in a positive mood, with high hopes. Either way, it didn't change what happened...
"Hey, Hikari!" I said, grinning. "What're you up to?"
"Oh, nothing much," she replied. I noticed she looked rather... bored. This was my chance! But before I could open my mouth, she spoke again.
"Daisuke..." she said slowly, as if unsure of herself. "I'm not busy on Saturday... how about we go see a movie or something?"
My eyes went wide and I tried as hard as I could to keep from screaming with joy. Hikari was actually asking me out! It was a miracle! Miyako was right, the stuff really did work! "Yeah, sure, great!" I replied, trying not to sound TOO enthusiastic. That was probably what had scared her away before, after all. "Sounds fabulous."
And that, my friends, was the complete new beginning of my life. Just thinking back on that day makes me smile... now, I don't know if it really was Miyako's so-called love potion that did the trick, or if Hikari simply had a change of heart.. but one thing's for sure, I'll never regret that day.