OMG a PARODY: Death Note
Light quietly walked by the NPA office. Men were running around with anxious expressions. 'What fools!' He thought. He sneered and took out a brand of his favorite potato chips. He grabbed a Lays dramatically and chewed it with anger. Ryuk watched curiously behind him. 'This kid is fucking crazy.' He thought. Before he could beg for an apple, Light tripped down a staircase to the hotel that L was hiding out in.
"God Damn! Who the hell leaves Mermaid Melody Pitchi Pitchi manga volumes on the stairs?!" Light painfully stood up to see Rem snickering unsubtlely behind a dumb-founded (or simply dumb) Misa.
Misa squinted. "I could have sworn that I left them in my room…"
Rem floated in her too-close for comfort manner beside Misa. "Who knows? Maybe the Gods have finally decided to kill you off Light. Maybe your evil is too much!"
Light scoffed. "Bitch, please. I wish a shinigami would try to step to me! They don't call me Dat Ballin' Notebook MuthaFuckah fo nothin'!" (Nobody calls him that…Well, sometimes Matsuda, but his IQ is shockingly lower than Kevin Federline's.)
Light abruptly walked passed his "served" peers and entered the building. Ryuk was still outside (busy stomping the yard) for some spare change. He decided he couldn't take the waiting and chose to buy some apples his damn self. It was a time like this, when Light was neglectful, that Ryuk got the premonition that Light was going to die a very embarrassing death in a decrepit warehouse. But what are the odds of that happening, right?!
Wink Wink
L was waiting in Light's bed room. He had no socks on and was eating a whole cake by himself. He twisted his face around to his back in a very Exorcist-like form. "Hello, Light. You look like you just fell down a stair well." He blinked for the first time in 10 years. "That's sounds like something only Kira would do."
Light glared. "So only Kira can fall down stairs?"
"I'm only 7 percent sure about it."
"Well, I'm 520 percent sure that you pulled that percentage out of your ass."
L twisted his head back around. "Only Kira would use such an exaggerated percentage."
Light sighed and sat next to L. "You know. Despite my obvious serial killing tendencies and your extremely depressing demeanor I think that we can be good friends."
L stopped his full-frontal face eating of his Red Velvet Ice Cream Cake. "What Chu Talkin' About Lizz-Ight?"
Light wiped the spittle off his face. "I've been reading a lot of fan fiction lately." He put his arm around L's shoulders. "From the popularity of the fan girls' noncanon stories, I think we could even make a good romantic couple." He paused. "You know. Laugh together. Eat together. Play together. Give out their real names together to further world domination. There are countless wonderful possibilities."
L looked down ashamed. "I'm sorry, Light. But I can't. I'm seeing someone."
"Who?!"
At that exclamation Mr. Yagami walked into the room in a tight thong and nipple clamps.
He looked from L to Light. "What? Bad Timing?"
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A/N:…It wasn't me! (Screams in a deep Shaggy voice.) XD It's stupid, yes, but admit it. Mr. Yagami got you pretty aroused at the end, eh? Perverts…