Here's a crack story I wrote a while back. I wrote it half asleep, which I learnt I write my best things that way. When I reread this, I couldn't stop snickering and laughing. My boyfriend thought I was crazy until I let him read it.
Summary: Ever wondered what happened when ninjas get bored?
Pairings: SasuNaru, SasoriDeidara, SakuLee, Itachi and... nail polish?
Here it is!!
All was quiet in the village of Konoha.
"OMEA NO BAKA!!"
Well... almost.
Sasuke was staring as Naruto had fallen into a trap... again.
The blonde hung upside down from a tree, hands tied behind his back and tape over his mouth.
The raven pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed as he looked back up, "Let me guess, you have no idea who did this and if anyone tries to get you down, they'll get trapped too."
Naruto mumbled and nodded his head furiously.
"Okay, let me see if I can figure something out," he sighed as he stepped closer as Naruto tried to say something.
A sudden poof of smoke surrounded the two.
"What the?!"
When the smoke cleared, Sasuke and Naruto looked stuck together. Sasuke's arms were wrapped around Naruto's waist while Naruto's arms were wrapped around Sasuke's neck.
"Now let the fun begin!" Sakura cheered.
Naruto looked over at her and several other girls, "Sakura-chan?"
A few hand seals later, Sasuke and Naruto couldn't stop touching and kissing eachother.
Ino and Sakura high-fived as they pulled out cameras.
Hinata, Neji, Kiba and Chouji were sitting in a circle playing Truth or Dare.
"Okay, my turn," Hinata said quietly, "Uhm... Kiba."
He grinned while Akamaru barked, "Dare!"
She thought for a minute, "I dare you to go steal all of Kakashi sensei's Icha Icha books."
Akamaru whined and Chouji started choking on some chips while Neji and Kiba stared wide eyed at the bold girl.
"Fine," he said slowly.
A few minutes later, Kiba found Kakashi talking with Iruka. Quickly, he dashed for Kakashi's room and spotted a large shelf full of the little books.
"Does he even read anything other than these things?" Kiba asked himself as he stuffed the books in his bag then poofed back to the others.
He sat down and sighed, "There! Now, Neji."
Neji watched kiba closely then sighed, "Dare."
A wicked smile formed as Kiba said, "I dare you to take your hair down, put on a dress and skip around town singing Barbie girl."
Hinata gasped and Chouji started laughing as one of Neji's eyebrows started to twitch.
Calmly, he stood up and left, leaving the others to stare at eachother in confusion. A few minutes later, a dress clad Neji came skipping downt the street singing Barbie Girl as everyone stared wide eyed.
Chouji leaned over to Kiba and whispered, "You know he's going to kill you later, right?"
Kiba shrugged and turned back to watching the Hyuuga skipping around, "Yeah, but it's worth it."
Somewhere outside of Konoha.
"Tobi! Get back here with my clay, hm," Deidara yelled chasing after a happy Tobi.
"Tobi's a good boy! And Tobi wants to play a game! Find the clay!" he cheered as he took of running for a closed door.
Deidara slammed on the brakes as he noticed the door.
Tobi came out a few minutes later skipping away happily, leaving Deidara to plan out the rescue of his precious explosive clay.
The door in question happened to belong to none other than the puppet master, Sasori.
The blonde gulped as he knocked on the door gently, "Danna? Did Tobi bring any of my clay in there?"
No one answered, so he carefully opened the door to find Sasori sitting on his bed, holding a ball of clay.
"My clay!!" he squealed as he walked over to the red head.
"You know Deidara? Why would Tobi bring your clay to me and tell me to keep it away at all costs?" Sasori asked eyeing the clay then looking up to the blonde.
Deidara shrugged, "He stole it saying he wanted to play a game of 'Find the Clay'." He walked closer to Sasori and held out his hand for the clay.
Sasori eyed his hand then the clay, then sat it down on a nightstand and stood up.
"Danna?" the blonde quirked his head to the side in confusion.
Tobi sat on a table and rocked back and forth as Itachi and Pein watched him carefully.
"Why are you in such a good mood?" Itachi asked as he kept a keen eye on him.
The rocking boy pulled a big bottle of purple nail polish our from behind his back and gave it to Itachi.
The stoic man's eyes lit up as he hugged Tobi and went off somewhere to paint his nails.
Pein watched tobi with impassive eyes and just shook his head, "What else have you done today Tobi?"
Just then, Deidara came running out of a room without his shirt on screaming, "Danna's lost his mind!!"
Everyone watched as a red haired boy came running after the blonde, "Come back Dei-Dei!"
Pein shook his head and muttered something about working with idiots.
Naruto and Sasuke had finally gotten free of the jutsu of Sakura's and were plotting they're revenge.
"What could we do to get her back?" naruto asked as they sat under a tree thinking.
"I don't know. But whatever it is, it better be good," Sasuke growled.
Both couldn't get the blushes off their faces.
"Ah! I've got it!" Naruto cried, then leaned over and whispered into Sasuke's ear.
An evil smirk formed on Sauske's lips as he nodded and both poofed away.
"I wonder what Sasuke'kun watned to talk about?" Sakura mumbled to herself as she walked to a building with the same address as the one on the piece of paper Sasuke gave her.
As she made it inside and shut the door, a light came on to reveal Lee in all his green clad glory.
"Sakura-chan!! Our youthfulness has led us to be here together!" Lee cried as he made his way over to the stunned girl.
A loud scream echoed throughout Konoha.
"Right on time," Naruto sighed as he stretched.
Sasuke found himself staring as Naruto flexed and stretched his perfect muscles, his mind replaying earlier.
He stood up and sighed, "You know though, it wasn't that bad." He began to walk home.
"Eh?! What do you mean 'wasn't that bad'?!" Naruto yelled as he followed Sasuke.
THe raven smirked as he used Naruto's quick temper to his advantage, "I mean, it wasn't exactly great."
Naruto's face turned red, "Teme!"
He chased after Sasuke, who was carefully leading them to the Uchiha compound.
"Tsunade sama! We've just received another report!" Shizune panted as she entered Tsunade's office.
The blonde woman sighed, "Another one?! First it was the Uchiha brat and Naruto, then it was something about Neji and a possible identity crisis."
Shizune handed the stressed woman a paper, "It seems Sakura was placed in the hospital with a severa case of shock after she beat Lee almost into the ground."
"What's happening out there?" Tsunade stood up and walked to the window.
A sudden yell crossed through the whole village.
"MY BOOKS!!"
"Was that Kakashi?" Shizune asked.
Tsunade banged her fist against a deffensless table, which promptly broke into several pieces, "That's it! From now on, there will be no more mission free days!"
Shizune nodded and went about getting a new table for the office.
Pein sighed in contentment as Tobi was tied up, Deidara and Sasori were locked in a sound proof room, and Itachi had a lifetime supply of purple fingernail polish.
He glanced around at the quiet atmosphere, "Konoha has to be doint better than this."
Just then, a loud explosion came from the supposed sound proof room.
"They HAVE to be thankful my hands are full," he mumbled as he went to go take something for his headache.
OWARI!!
I hope you guys liked it! Reviews would be nice.
Arigatoo.
JA NE!!