Summary: Colonel Sumner. Another name he was adding to the list of people he'd let down and he knew, it wasn't finished yet.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
John Sheppard stood in front of the camera. Colonel Sumner. A man who he'd never met until just before his first step through the Stargate to an other galaxy. Pegasus galaxy. If anyone had told him before that day, that aliens existed and that it was possible to travel to other habitable planets in an instant, he would've laughed and called the loony bin.
Now if he told anyone the same thing he'd be on a one way trip to the loony bin to get a long psych evaluation.
But that wasn't his concern.
The camera seemed to bore into him, knowing his secret.
When Elizabeth Weir had asked him to say a message to the relatives and family of Colonel Sumner, 'if he had any', he had nodded dutifully.
Sighing, he pulled his back straight and glared into the lens of the camera. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know the man and had had no intention to know him. The Colonel didn't like him and that was fine with the Major. Not a lot of people did after they knew about his little adventure that earned him a black mark against his name.
The Colonel hated him from the word 'Ready' never mind 'Go'.
But he felt it in his duty to say something. He didn't like the man and the man didn't like him. But John was the one to watch him die, the one to end his life. He was the reason this message was being recorded.
Gulping he asked himself; What do you say about a man who you didn't particularly like? Or about a man who you killed?
Sighing he opened his mouth and words began to fall in a messy stream; "I'm not sure if Colonel Sumner's parents are still alive. Um, I'm not sure he even has a family back there - not all of us do." It was just a strain to get those words out but once done, it seemed that the ones that followed were easily done. It felt so familiar and after the last word; "Goodbye", he nodded to Ford and waited for the young Lieutenant to leave before darkening his gaze and frowning at the opposite wall.
There'd been a time he'd done this before; in Afghanistan. He personally made his mission to apologise to the families for their lost ones and how they died with honour in the line of duty protecting other people and saving the lives of many in the process.
It's not the complete truth, it's not even near to the truth. He remembered that day and it weighed heavily on his conscious ever since. There was only him and one other person to make it out alive; and it was his fault. Everyone had made sure to tell him that, make it a permanent note to go down on record for the history books.
And now there was another life gone, because of him.
Then he thought about the Wraith.
There'd be thousands waking up and if he hadn't shot and killed the queen, they'd still be asleep and millions of people wouldn't be culled.
He kicked himself for creating a terrible chain of events, a horrible butterfly effect that he believed could've been avoid if he hadn't bothered to come to Atlantis.
Colonel Sumner. He made his way towards a balcony and let the cool wind rush over his heated skin.
Another name he was adding to the list of people he'd let down and he knew, it wasn't finished yet.