TUNNY SONG FIC: SOME NIGHTS
TITLE: WHAT DO I STAND FOR?
Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore...
"You don't know the first thing about war."
Tunny shut his eyes hoping that the tighter he clenched them, the more supportive his parents would be about him joining the army. Leaning his forehead against the telephone booth, Tunny took a deep breath.
"Mom. I need to do this."
"What are you going to accomplish if you join?" It was his father which made Tunny a little uneasy. But he managed to maintain his courage to keep going.
"I'll be fighting for something! Making something out of myself. Isn't that what you wanted anyways? A son that made you proud?"
"Don't drag us into this! And all this is going to do is make you dead!" Tunny buried his head into his hands.
"What do you even stand for?" His Mom's question sent his mind reeling. Before he knew it, tears were slowly forming and several managed to roll down his cheek.
"I... I don't know." Tunny mentally kicked himself as he thought about how he should never have called his parents in the first place. Especially at such a late hour because it was a waste. They never understood and never would.
"Tunny. Do not sign yourself up. I lost my father to the war. I'm not losing my son too." Tunny looked up to the sky in a silent plea as he heard his father choking up on the other end.
"Bye Mom. Bye Dad." And without another word, Tunny hung up. He leaned onto the booth as he took a deep breath. He looked down the street where he could see the sign of the crappy building him and his best were staying in. Tunny debated whether to go back and tell him why he was going or even that he was leaving. But looking back, he realized if he didn't go now, he never would. With a deep breath, Tunny left the booth and walked into a nearby building.
This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style
"Tunny!"
Tunny whipped around and almost screamed as several bullets flew past him. The man who had called him turned and fired his gun into the darkness. A cry erupted from somewhere in the distance.
"What the hell are you doing? Trying to get killed?" It was a fellow soldier and he grabbed Tunny's arm, bringing him to his feet.
Tunny gripped his gun and looked at him almost pleading with tears in his eyes. "Joshua, I can't do this! I can't kill these people!"
Without warning, Joshua slapped him across the face. "This is what you signed up for so you better do the fucking job. If you don't, you may not make it back alive." Joshua turned on his heel and ran back the way he came.
Gun shots echoed all around. For protection, Tunny cocked his gun though he knew he didn't have the guts to fire it. Slowly and quietly, he crept towards the direction Joshua had disappeared, hoping he wouldn't encounter the enemy because who knew whether he would be able to save himself.
And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I?
"Tunny... Tunny... Tunny!"
His eyes shot open. He was surprised to find the hospital tent pitch black. As his eyes adjusted, Tunny could make out the silhouette of his favorite nurse at camp sitting next to him on his bed.
"What's wrong?" Tunny asked as he propped himself up.
"You were talking in your sleep again. It was getting a little loud and I didn't want it to wake up the other guys. They need their rest." She placed a hand on his forehead. "Your temperature has gone down drastically."
Tunny rested his head back onto his pillow. She grabbed onto his hand. "You don't wanna be here, huh?"
Tunny groaned. "Is it that obvious?"
She gave a weak smile. "Not really. You were just talking about your father and some other people in your sleep. Then you mentioned something about not being able to go on with this."
"I don't understand how you can do this." Tunny said. "Dealing with critically injured patients. Watching people die in front of you. I can't even shoot a man whose ten feet away! I think I'm making myself miss. I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up."
She nodded. "They make it sound like you find yourself in the army."
Tunny laughed softly. "Couldn't have said that any better."
"Just don't think about the fact that you might have to kill someone. Make it your goal to get out of here alive and well. And if that does mean killing someone to accomplish that, don't hesitate. You have a family and friends." She swallowed hard. "And a girl who would hate it if something happened to you."
Tunny smiled. "I wish I was as brave as you."
She returned his smile and rested her head onto his chest. Slowly she drifted off and Tunny listened to her breathing until he fell asleep as well.
Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end
Cause I could use some friends for a change
And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights, I always win, I always win...
"Chase! Chase! Somebody! Help!"
Tunny stopped crawling and looked back towards the sound of the screams. Not wanting to face the enemy up ahead, he headed back the way he came, following the screams that sounded familiar.
Suddenly, Tunny felt something poking at his back. Turning onto his back, he found himself at gun point. Sensing that it was the end, Tunny closed his eyes and prayed that it would be quick. Suddenly a round of gunshots echoed through the night. His eyes shot opened and he witnessed as his opponents face was hit by multiple bullets, spraying blood all over Tunny who screamed in terror. The man's body collapsed into a heap on the floor. Tunny crawled as fast as he could until he encountered the screaming man he had been looking for. The stranger was crying as he attempted to cover a bullet wound on his arm with a blood soaked rag.
"What do you need?" Tunny asked as he search through his bag.
"Water." The man whispered in pain.
Tunny bit his lip as he realized he had no water left. Without saying a word, he ripped the bottom of his shirt and used it to wrap the wound.
"Who are you?" The man asked through gritted teeth. An explosion went off in the distance.
"Tunny. Now lets get you out of here."
"Gerard! Where are you?"
The man's eyes opened wide as he tried to get on his feet but Tunny kept him on the floor to avoid being shot at. A figure appeared in the distance and slowly it crawled towards the injured man.
"You scared to shit out of me man!" The two men gave a quick hug before the newcomer offered his hand to Tunny.
"Chase."
Offering his good hand, the other man said, "The names Gerard." Tunny shook his hand as well.
"Thank you for helping my friend here." Chase threw one of Gerard's arms around his shoulders which caused the injured man to scream in pain. Without thinking, Tunny threw Gerard's other arm around his own shoulder.
"Let's get out of here."
So this is it? I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like this one, so come on
Chase, Gerard and Tunny were lying on the cold floor staring up at the stars. Next to them was a dwindling camp fire. All the other men were in their tents resting up for the big invasion the next day.
"So this is it. No more playing safe after tonight." Gerard sighed as he reminded the others that they were due on the front line in the morning.
"Yeah." Tunny could see the medic tent from where they were and debated whether to go say goodbye.
Chase shut his eyes. "I feel like this is my last night."
Gerard looked over at his friend with a serious face. "Don't even say that. That's not funny." Chase looked hurt but didn't respond.
Tunny shut his eyes as well. "We'll be fine." He didn't sound very convinced himself though. In several minutes, light snoring erupted from either side of Tunny who remained awake.
Looking back up at the sky, he thought about the fact that he probably wasn't going to make it to see the next starry night. His father had been right. It was more probable for him to return home in a coffin than alive. Tunny couldn't even bear the thought of throwing his life away for nothing. He never was fighting for anything.
Tunny shut his eyes and allowed himself to drift off thinking it was probably better if he was killed in the morning.
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home; Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?
"Gerard! We gotta keep moving!"
Tunny started running but realized it was going to take more to get his friend to run. Trying to avoid the flying bullets, Tunny made his way back to Gerard who had his face dug into his friends bloody chest. Chase lay flat on his back in the exact same position he had fallen in. From his angle, Tunny had a clear view of the bullet wounds on his chest and neck. Gerard had one of Chase's hands in his own but it was limp. Tunny knew it was no use. He was gone but that didn't make a difference for Gerard who was crying and screaming.
"He's gone! We need to keep going with the others or else we're gonna end up the same way! We're not going to die this way!"
Gerard squeezed his friends hand one last time. Tunny grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and brought him to his feet. Pushing Gerard ahead of him, Tunny looked back and said a quick word for Chase in his head. Gerard almost ran back to the body but Tunny pushed him on. Together, the two ran into battle.
They didn't get very far before a nearby explosion caused the men to fall to the ground. Scrambling to his feet, Tunny didn't realize he was exposed and as a gun shot ripped through the air, Tunny screamed. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes in agony. Forcing himself to look down, Tunny could see his blood spilling everywhere. He was unable to move and his gun was nowhere to be seen. Still exposed, Tunny attempted to crawl to a safer spot but the littlest movement caused him to cry in pain. His body was shaking and tears began rolling down his cheeks.
A hand grabbed his shoulder. "Tunny! What the hell happened?" At the sight of the wound, Gerard hooked his arms under Tunny's and dragged him to a safer location. He looked through both their bags cursing as he realized there were no supplies.
"Gerard, go run for help." Tunny demanded as he clenched his teeth in pain.
Gerard smiled. "Like you said, we're not gonna die like this." He grabbed Tunny by the waist and hung him over his own back.
As they entered a clearing with other men, Gerard began yelling. "Boys! We got an injured man over here! Help me get him to camp!" Two other men appeared and picked up Tunny by the arms. With Gerard holding up the rear, the men marched back to camp in the moonlight.
The other night, you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up, but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance...
Tunny's eyes shot open. He was shaking violently and the sheets were drenched. His voice was echoing throughout the room until he was only left with the sound of footsteps. The doors flew open.
"Tunny! What's wrong?"
He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Where's Chase?"
She stood still, not knowing what to say or do. Another figure appeared at the door. "Is everything alright? I heard screaming?"
"Go back to bed, Will. I've got this."
As the figure disappeared, she took a seat on the bed. "Baby, it was just a dream." Tunny shook his head. "Yes it was. Don't think about it. Think about the fact that you're safe and we made it out together."
When he didn't respond, she sighed. "I'll be in bed in a little bit. I have some last minute work I have to do." She kissed his forehead and closed the door as she left the room.
Tunny reached for his cellphone and began to dial a number. Before he could press call, though, Tunny dropped the phone realizing he couldn't call Gerard. It was too much for the both of them. Wanting to leave the room, he removed the blankets but at the sight of his leg, he placed them back where they were. He buried his face into his hands and rubbed his temples in frustration. He reached for his phone again, needing someone to talk to but decided against it. Sighing, he came to the conclusion that not thinking or talking about would be better. Tunny threw the blanket over his head and shut his eyes hoping that this time he wouldn't dream and have to watch Chase get shot down again.