Stream of Conscientiousness
On the plane
A loss of words
But not of thoughts
Plenty to daydream about
But what should I?
But why should I?
Daydream about the things
that can't happen
and wouldn't happen in
a million years
Or to daydream about the
things that can happen
A matter of ambiguity;
Be wishful about something
that could and probably
will happen
Or be too naïve and optimistic
about something that never
will occur.
The boy I once enamored
Now at my side
Sleeping, breathing gently
His head resting atop my shoulder
Mine on his
Yet none of my thoughts
are of him anymore
The priests son whom I've
grown fond of
Dreams of him, quite possible
Almost probable
He's constantly in my thoughts
Until halfway through this journey
Grasping onto the closest
thing to him,
I cling to another person
A musician
One that I could never hope for
Never wish for
Couldn't keep entertained
It's almost better not to try
Yet, daydreaming
That's what it's for
Wishful thinking
Whimsical ideas
Grasping things that
you never can or will attain
Now he is constantly in my thoughts
A mere replacement
The rebound boy
But maybe the priests son was the
replacement?
Or have I missed something entirely?
Maybe there was something lacking
in my dreams of him,
that can be replaced by dreaming
of another?
Others have said that he didn't know
what he was missing
That I was a catch that
any guy would be lucky to have
But after being told that
I fall head over heels for another.
Am I really the catch that
everyone would want?
Who'd want a flip-flopping fish?
The idea of wanting something
that you can't have…
It almost justifies dreaming
But at the same time, what's the point?
If you can't attain it, why bother putting so much time and thought into it?
I keep listening to him singing
The song in an endless loop
Only because he isn't here beside me
And this is as good as it gets
A voice
A song
A piano
A musician
A phrase
A psalm
A iv chord
His voice
His song
His piano
His phrases
His voice...
My daydreams
interrupted by ambiguity.
I was on a plane for 16 hours from China, and I decided to do a free write. Before my trip, I was "smitten" with a priests son. On the trip, I fell for a guy that knew the priests son probably because he was the closest thing to him. This other guy I'm fairly close to, but we're in totally different leagues. Now that I'm home though, I'm still unsure of who I like more... D: