Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Avengers
The question, Tony thinks grimly as he speeds down the corridors – flying, because walking will take a few minutes extra and they really don't have the time to spare with this whole facility rigged to blow in less than twenty minutes along with the Hydra labs, the stored weapons and the whole mire of chemicals in the basement, – the question is, just how do you lose an enormous green rage monster? It's almost funny, but Tony isn't laughing. Hulk had vanished three hours ago when they first landed, after seeing that the army was here too. He'd been certain they were here for him, not the bad guys, and Tony couldn't say with any certainty he was wrong. They'd told the army to stay back, but by that time Hulk had smashed his way through the wall, and that was the last they'd seen of him. The big guy isn't known for being subtle. Something must have happened, and Tony curses himself for still not managing to put together a communicator that would stand up to the transformation.
"Iron Man!" Steve's voice in his ear gives him a welcome spark of hope. "I need you up here. You got my position?"
"JARVIS," he starts, but JARVIS has already thrown the coordinates up on his HUD. "On my way," he tells Steve.
He decides in an instant that they don't have time for him to take the long way, and he bursts up through floors and walls, narrowly resisting the urge to yell "Oh yeah!" in the Kool-Aid man voice. Clint had taught Hulk to say that last month, and he really hates being anything less than original.
Steve is standing next to a ridiculously large strong-looking metal door. "Hulk's in there," Steve tells him tersely. "I can hear him screaming. I tried calling out to him, but I don't think he heard me, and I can't get the door open. Have you got anything to help?"
He looks it over and quickly rejects anything that might trigger the explosives. And Steve can't shift it, which says something about just how sturdy it is. He's not even sure the armour can move it, but maybe..."Brute strength," he says with a grimace. "Both of us together. Come on."
Steve nods, and they work together, throwing themselves against the door. Three attempts and it starts to buckle, and Tony manages to shove the edge until it folds inwards and they're able to scramble through.
Now he can hear Hulk screaming in anger, hurt and fear. Hulk is slumped in the middle of the floor, twisted up in a mass of razor-sharp, barbed and tangled wire. There is blood splashed across the floor, and Tony can see the wire ripping open Hulk's skin as he struggles... the wounds close up almost immediately so the wire is buried beneath his skin, tearing and healing over and over again, and Tony feels his stomach twist at the sight.
Whatever this is, it's strong enough that Hulk can't break through it. Someone's been making new metals. Isn't that supposed to be his thing?
He starts forwards immediately, even while Hulk roars and lashes out, ignoring Steve's whispered "Tony!" Steve wants to help Hulk just as much as he does, he understands, but Steve thinks they should wait until they're sure Hulk recognises them first.
He trusts to his inherent recognisability and stands right in front of Hulk, his arms held wide. "Hey, Big Guy," he says.
Hulk roars again and surges forwards, the wire bringing him up short even as his massive brow creases and he squints at Tony. "Tin Man."
"Yeah, buddy, it's me," he says, popping his faceplate so Hulk could see him properly.
"Hulk hurt," Hulk says, looking at him expectantly.
He takes a deep breath. "Yeah. I can see that," he says, carefully looking over the wire, his hand hovering millimetres away. He can't risk touching it without hurting Hulk more.
"Can you get him free?" Steve asks him in a low voice.
The numbers danced through Tony's head. "Yep," he agrees after a half second. "But it'll take time." Time they don't have.
"Okay," Steve says. "What we have to do is - "
" - Cap! Iron Man! You there?" Clint's voice comes urgently over the communicator, and he doesn't wait for an answer. "We've found a whole bunch of hostages down here. We're gonna need some help to get them out."
"Hulk's caught in some sort of trap here," Steve answers, and there's silence for a second before Clint says:
"Shit."
Tony looks back at Steve. "Go," he says, in a tone that should brook no argument, except Steve never wants to leave anyone behind. "Go," he says again emphatically, before Steve has a chance to do more than open his mouth. "I'll get him free and we'll meet you there."
They both know that could be a lie. But they also both know there's no time for discussion, and Steve nods and looks between him and Hulk." If you don't, I'm coming back," he says, and he's gone.
Tony grimaces but decides he'll trust to Natasha and Clint's pragmatism to stop Steve throwing his life away, and he runs back to Hulk. "Alone at last," he says dryly, sorting through the tools he has with him, trying to figure out what will do the best job."
Hulk is frowning. Now he's still, the wire is eating into him less, and he seems more lucid. "Why time?" he asks.
"I'm gonna have to refer you to Stephen Hawking for that one," Tony says glibly. "Temporal physics so aren't my thing, unless I'm drunk and there's a DeLorean involved."
Hulk frowns some more. "Tin Man talk fast," he comments disapprovingly. "Why time?"
For a second he considers pretending not to understand. But he does, he always does, or at least mostly and more than anyone else. Steve thinks it's that Hulk tries harder with him because Bruce likes him, and Hulk has been sort of protective of him since he caught him in New York, while Natasha says it's because they're basically both massive balls of id and nothing else, and Clint says it's just because they share a fondness for ridiculous nicknames. Tony thinks it's simply because he has experience of sitting and talking with someone...something...who has raw knowledge, but no real way of understanding or conceptualising their own existence. Talking with Hulk reminds him of talking with JARVIS in the very early days, or maybe even trying to explain something to his bots. Just because you can't always see the underlying logic doesn't mean it's not there. But he hasn't explained that theory to anyone because he's had enough 'Machines aren't people, Tony' conversations to last him a lifetime, and having that back to back with 'The Hulk isn't a person, Tony' might just be enough to make him develop rage issues of his own.
Anyway, the point is he understands, so even as he's getting his laser cutter lined up he looks at Hulk and simply says "The building's rigged to explode. We got maybe fifteen minutes."
Hulk tenses and stares at him for a second. Then he reaches out and shoves Tony away – gently, but a gentle shove from the Hulk is still enough that he's sent stumbling backwards a few feet and he has to fire his repulsors to stop him falling flat on his ass.
"Go," Hulk snarls angrily.
Tony just looks at him. "Yeah, that's not going to happen," he says, walking straight back to start working on the wire again – if he can just deal with the stuff around Hulk's arms, legs and throat, he thinks the rest of it should come off enough for Hulk to get free, maybe even in time for them to get out.
But Hulk holds his arm out forcibly, keeping Tony back, a look of fear and desperation on his face. "No! Tin Man go! Tin Man squishy inside."
"I'm not leaving you," Tony says simply.
"Hulk not die," Hulk says with a disparaging snort. "Nothing kill Hulk, not puny 'splo-shun. Tin Man go."
That might be true. But there's a lot of unknowns here and Tony isn't exactly anxious to test it. "Nothing's killed you yet," he says. "But hell, nothing's killed me yet, and plenty things have tried. Hate to tell you this, Big Guy, but you don't come with a guarantee."
There is a pause and for a moment Tony is hopeful he's got through. But then a look of sad determination crosses Hulk's face. "Hurt Banner."
He blinks, confused. "I know they did."
"No." Hulk makes a noise of frustration the way he always does when he thinks someone is being stupid. "Hulk hurt puny Banner."
"What?" He doesn't understand, but Hulk is hunched up, his head bowed as much as the wire allowed, not meeting Tony's eyes.
"Hulk hurt Banner," he says again. "Wire hurt Hulk, and Hulk think if Hulk smaller could escape. When Hulk try, Banner hurt."
It was a logical thought. But the wire would have already been buried beneath Hulk's skin so as Hulk transformed...he shivers at the picture.
"So now Tin Man leave?" Hulk asks sounding resigned and hopeful all at once.
"What?" No!" he says immediately.
Hulk frowns. "Puny Banner Tin Man's friend," he says insistently. "Hulk hurt Tin Man's friend. Tin Man leave."
There is something in that which is enough to make him pause in his efforts to get close enough to the wire, something that made his heart hurt. "Okay that's..." He took a deep breath. "I don't even know what that is. First of all, it was an accident. You didn't mean to hurt Bruce. And I'm sure as hell not going to leave you to die because of an accident. Hell, I wouldn't even leave you if I found you tugging on Bruce's pigtails. Second of all, you're my friend too and I do not leave my friends behind. And thirdly I am stubborner than you and if you try and make me leave I'm just going to sit down and wait with you."
"Tin Man not give life for Hulk," Hulk protests.
Tony shrugs. "I'm sorta new to this whole teamwork thing, but I think not dying alone is part of it. Besides, my armour is awesome. I might survive. You might survive. We'll need to wait and see."
There is a pause. Hulk is frowning. "Hulk Tin Man's friend?"
He smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, Big Guy."
"Why Tin Man like Hulk?" The question is bewildered and expectant and everything Tony hates.
He pinches the bridge of his nose with his armoured hand, feeling ridiculous. He'd ask if this is the right time to talk about feelings, but he supposes matters of life and death are kinda the only time. He thinks about it for half a second, thinks about the way Hulk watches his back in battle, just as he watches Hulk's, and about the way Hulk somehow makes him feel safe, and the way he feels relaxed at just how honest and straightforward Hulk is. Everyone Tony spends time with is complicated. Everyone except Hulk, and he appreciates that so much more than he'd ever expect. But what he says is "No one else will watch Animaniacs with me."
Hulk snorts appreciatively. "Hulk never had friend before."
"Well, now you do," Tony says with a shrug. "And I'm not going anywhere so you're going to have to get used to it."
Hulk stares at him for another long moment then nods and drops his arm and Tony rushes forward, pulling his faceplate back down. "Okay, let's get this show on the road," he says. "Don't look at the laser, okay? I don't carry goggles in your size."
"Tin Man be quick," Hulk urges.
"No one likes a backseat driver," Tony tells him. It's taking a while to cut through even one piece of the wire, and he resists the urge to chant 'Come on, come on, come on,' under his breath. That's not going to help Hulk keep calm. But every new wire that falls open is a hard-fought victory and JARVIS calmly keeps him appraised of the time. It's going to be close. Very close.
He gets to the wire wrapped around Hulk's throat and bites his lip. There isn't going to be time to be as careful as he would like. More than anywhere else the wire there is buried beneath Hulk's skin. "Okay," he says. "This is gonna hurt. There's no two ways about it. So you got a choice, Big Guy. Either you try real hard to hold still, or else I've got a tranq on me that should knock you out for ten minutes or so and then I can cut you free and lift you out of here." It wouldn't be easy, but he'd lifted heavier things than Hulk.
"No drug Hulk," Hulk growls. "Army take. Hurt."
He sighs. He should've known that wouldn't go down well. "I'd be there the whole time," he tries. "No one would be able to take you."
Hulk doesn't look convinced.
"Look," he says, looking Hulk straight in the eye. "Anyone who wants to take you is going to have to go through me first. Because I will stand between you and anyone who wants to hurt you, and I will use every option at my disposal to keep you safe, and when I run out of options I'll invent some more, and even if everything fails I'll still be standing there until they kill me. And I am very, very hard to kill."
He's given a speech like this before, but that was to Bruce, not Hulk. There is a difference, and they both know it.
There is a moment of silence, and then Hulk reaches out and gently shoves a finger against Tony's chest. "Tin Man not smash without Hulk. Hulk stay awake. Then Hulk and Tin Man run together."
He nods. "Okay. Like I said, your call. Just be very careful. I'm not sure I can avoid hurting you altogether."
"Hulk not smash Tin Man if hurt," Hulk assures him anxiously.
He smiles tensely. "Yeah. That's not what I'm worried about. I just don't want to hurt you."
"Trust Tin Man," Hulk says, and somehow his smile gets a little brighter.
He has a hand on Hulk's shoulder while he works and he tells himself it's just so he can lean in closer. Be more precise. The fact that it might look like a comforting gesture – for both of them – is entirely coincidental.
True to his word, Hulk keeps still. He can't keep completely quiet though. Someone that big and that invulnerable shouldn't make those pained huffs and moans.
"Iron Man!" Steve sounds anxious. "What's your position."
"Almost done," he says to Steve and to Hulk, and the last of the wire falls away finally, and Hulk is on his feet, roaring in triumph.
"You have a little over two minutes, sir," JARVIS tells him, the thread of anxiety running through his voice.
"We need to get out of here," he tells Hulk.
Hulk grins. "Tin Man follow," he says, and he crashes straight through the wall, leaving Tony to follow and they speed through the building until Hulk smashes the outer wall and hits the ground, and Tony flies after. They head for the edge of the facility, and he can see the rest of the team gathered with a group of hostages, and even at this distance he can see the relief on their faces.
And then the world explodes behind them in a mess of bright, lurid flames and they all hit the ground.
When the smoke clears they get to their feet. "You two were cutting it a bit fine," Steve says, his light tone forced.
Tony grins. "We've just been having a nice little chat. Braiding each other's hair. You know how it goes."
"I'm glad you've been enjoying your sleepover while the rest of us have been working," Natasha says dryly.
"Does anyone else think the Iron Man armour would look good with pigtails?" Clint muses.
"Tin Man Hulk's friend," Hulk rumbles happily, like that is all that matters, and maybe it is.
"Right!" Tony says, clapping his hands together before anyone can ask any questions. "I say this is an occasion for sushi. Anyone else want sushi?"
Hulk wrinkles his nose. "Hulk like sushi?"
Tony shrugs. "No idea. Bruce does. Let's find out." He has no idea how much sushi Hulk can eat. He knows that he can eat forty hot dogs in one sitting. That was impressive, and enough to make him wonder all over again about the extra mass between Hulk and Bruce.
"We're going to need to debrief," Steve protests half-heartedly. "Fury will want to know what happened. And we're going to need to start the clear up."
"And then sushi?" Clint asks, before Tony has to, and Steve grins.
"Tin Man ponder what Hulk ponder?" Hulk asks innocently as they start to walk away, and Tony grins up at him, relishing the joke that has the others blinking at them in confusion.
"I think so, Hulk, but where are we going to find a slanket in your size?"
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