It was doing what it always does in Forks: rain. Not little splatters but huge quarter size drops that soak you all the way to the bone in 5 minutes or less. Tonight it was like a monsoon. I could only hope it would not do this next weekend. It was our time: the wedding.
I was so glad that Charlie had gone on a weekend fishing trip with some of his work buddies. I had a lot of things to discuss with my soon-to-be family, wedding plans that I knew would keep me very busy for the next few days. Charlie was fairly mellow now about the whole marriage thing. Renee', my mom, was beginning to drive me crazy but my future mother-in-law Esme could not have been nicer to her. My Mom was overly excited for both Edward and I and wanted so much to be a part of everything even if she was on the other side of the country in Florida. Knowing what I would be denying her soon I could not do the same with this.
I had spent many hours toying with the idea of telling them, my parents, of what I was about to do. My change to be exact. In my mind, I knew Charlie would be the one to handle it the best. I am sure after all his years of service, Charlie had seen just about everything and nothing would shock him. Now Renee', my crazy lovable scatter brained mother, was a completely different story. She'd freak. So I was left with the decision to keep them in the dark for a while. I loved both of them far too much to worry them any more than necessary.
I know that part of me is a little afraid of my change. It wasn't the pain necessarily, although that was a huge part of it. I didn't like the idea of only being focused on the thirst and nothing else. Not my love for Edward or the way I could feel the never ending passion coursing through my veins whenever he kissed me. I wouldn't want him. I would only want the blood my body craved. I didn't like that. I was afraid that I might attack my family and friends so I could not be around them for at least the first 6 months if not longer. I suppose the worst thing was wondering would I really be good enough for Edward. He was the picture of perfection and I didn't know how my plain self would really fit in his world. I wondered if I would truly be all he would ever want or would he tire of me once he had me. He told me I was ridiculous but I still thought about it.
I pulled my new Mercedes, a gift from Edward as part of our deal, in front the Cullen's house. As I stepped out of the car with my wedding notebook that Alice had made me keep up with I could hear someone playing the piano. I knew right away it was not Edward for two reasons. The first was obvious: he is out hunting. And the second was they were nowhere near as good as he was. But it was very beautiful, much better than I can do. I no more stepped inside the house when I was greeted warmly by Alice and Esme. Even though they were both ice cold I could feel their love warming me from head to toe. Rose had to be the one playing.
"So, Bella, do you like it," Rosalie asked from the floor above where she played softly.
"It is perfect," I answered.
"Okay, so we have a lot to talk about today. Bella, you have a week to go and we still have some things to iron out," Alice replied as she gracefully sat down at the dining room table and opened her own notebook.
"Bella, we have samples of the wedding cake and groom's cake. Since you are the only one who eats here we need you to decide," Esme said as she sat down a platter with 8 different samples of cake.
"I picked out some music. A few Edward suggested and Alice chose one or two. A must is the lullaby he wrote for you," Rosalie added.
I felt like I was being bombarded from all sides. Where was Jasper when I needed him? But I put on a smile and braved all their endless questions and suggestion in stride. To be honest I was actually enjoying myself. This whole wedding planning thing had actually turned out to be fun. Rosalie and I had gained a new respect for one another although she was still not thrilled that I was giving up my mortal status soon. I know she would have given anything to have been given my choice but I knew this was what I wanted without a shadow of a doubt. I will admit there was a time when those doubts were there but not anymore and they would never resurface again.
As Alice discussed decorations for the tables at the reception I thought I heard someone call my name and not just any someone but Edward. I knew that couldn't be right since he was out hunting with the guys. But I knew my ears weren't wrong again when I heard him while Esme was mentioning the meal for the reception. When I looked at Alice she had a distinct smirk on her face.
"Alice is Edward home," I asked.
Esme and Rosalie looked like two women who were trying really hard not to laugh. Alice herself tried to contain her excitement about whatever was about to happen.
"I think he's ready for you now. Tell him we are going to play baseball and for you two to come and find us when you're done," Alice said as Esme and Rosalie snickered.
"Where is he?"
"Just follow the sound of his voice. Have fun."
And with that, they were gone. When they moved like that, it was unnerving sometimes especially right now when I knew there was a surprise waiting on me. I hated surprises. I made it to the first floor.
"Bella," Edward whispered.
But he was not there. I made it to the second floor.
"Bella," Edward sang.
Still no Edward to be found. I knew he had to be on the third floor since there were no more and he wouldn't be on the roof since it was raining cats and dogs.
"Edward, where are you," I asked after looking in his bedroom.
"In the room beside of you," he answered.
Okay. Why did he call me from the bathroom? He didn't need to shave or do much of anything else in there. Oh I suppose they all took baths but they don't sweat but I guess they could get dirty from hunting or working on the cars or baseball. I was stalling that was it. But why was I afraid?
"Bella, my love, why do you hesitate," Edward asked.
"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I replied from outside the door.
"I can't. It's just the amount of time you are taking to find me."
I swallowed and open the door. The site I saw on the other side was breath taking and it had nothing to do with the enormous shower that had a waterfall shower head and jets that shot from the side. It was my fiancé. Edward had his back to me and I watched the water slowly glide down his perfect body. He seemed to glow even more under the water. We had been doing this to one another for about a month now: teasing. I'd take a shower and leave the door wide open if I knew no one was home. We'd taken to changing in front of one another to see who would cave first. And just recently we started to sleep in the nude. Well almost, there was usually a blanket between us. But Edward changed in the dark. I blushed and turned my back to him.
"Uh, when did you get back," I tried to ask nonchalantly.
"I never left. I went hunting early yesterday and last night. That was why I didn't come by and not because of plans with the family. I am sorry I lied to you. But I had good reasons," he explained.
"I bet you do," I mumbled.
"Bella, why don't you turn around? I promise I won't bite. At least not unless you want me to."
I wanted to turn around. I wanted to see . . . what had gotten in to him. Where had all this boldness come from?
"What has gotten in to you? Aren't you the one who is always so, what is it you say, chaste," I finally asked, back still to him.
"Well, I guess my 17 year old hormones have taken over me. Bella, love, please look at me," Edward pleaded.
I sighed and sucked in a very deep breath. Part of me would love to give in and go for it but I knew that it was not what he wanted.
"I can't let you give in. I know that you really want to wait until our wedding night. I've not been fair to you, Edward."
"Nor have I to you. But as with everything in life, it's your choice whether you want to or not. I would never force this on you. But to me, you are my wife already. Everything else we do is just formality."
I pondered over this for a few minutes and then I did the one thing that I knew would convince me to break his vows of virginity, mine and his. I turned around. My mouth hung open. Edward chuckled.
"Am I to assume that you approve of me? Am I all you thought I would be," he asked, sexuality oozing from his tone.
Where had this come from? Where had this new Edward come from and why now? I had to compose myself to ask that question before I did anything else.
"Edward, where did these new views of yours come from," I asked as I had to think about every word before I could even say them.
"I thought that I might want to try a few things before the actual night gets here. I want to make sure I can control myself. Because above all things, I want our wedding night to be perfect."
"But we won't be virgins anymore."
"No one ever has to know that but you and I. It will be our little secret."
Our secret. Something just between us. That was enough for me. First I slipped off my shoes, thankful I had worn my tennis shoes today instead of the lace up boats. I took of my striped socks as well. Now I decided to do this slow and give him a show. I was glad that I had let Alice talk me into the dark blue bra and panty combo now since that was what I had chosen to wear today. I slid my grey hoodie over my head and dropped it on the floor. I looked at Edward as he was leaned against the glass wall of the shower. Then I pulled my long sleeve white T-shirt off and let it fall with the rest. My jeans fell off next and then I was before him in only my underwear. These were new and Edward was the first to see them on me. When I looked at Edward I noticed that this was the first real time I had noticed his body giving his desires away.
"I guess you like them," I said as I pranced around a bit to show them off to him and looked down at his excited state.
"I do, a lot."
I stared at him intently as I put my hands behind my back and unhooked my bra. I slid each one down my arms and let it drop in front of me. Edward's eyes were riveted on my every move. I placed my hands on the band of my panties and I heard his breath hitch. I moved very slowly now to be careful not to tear them and to torture him just the slightest bit. Now I was naked before him as well. Now I was the one afraid.
"Do you like what you see? Am I all that you thought I would be," I asked.
Edward opened the door and held out his hand and pulled me to him. His body had warmed up from the heat of the water so he did not make me shiver when his wet naked body touched mine. My heart was pounding against the walls of my chest. My eyes never left his as he held me close. Edward leaned down to kiss my jaw right below my right ear. He kissed a trail to my ear.
"Isn't it obvious, Bella," he asked.
I knew what he meant and yes it was. That made me smile and he knew I had and I could feel him smile too. The water was so hot but in a good way. I knew he had chosen here because it would keep his skin from feeling so icy cold to me. His hands ran across my back, up my shoulders, and into my hair. I shivered from delight as I ran my own hands over the expanse of his perfect body. At least the areas that I could reach at the moment. I heard a low moan come from Edward's lips as I let my hand graze over his behind.
"Bella, can I wash your hair," Edward asked softly.
"Yes, of course," I replied.
Edward led me over to the waterfall and wet my hair. He turned me around and picked up the shampoo, my brand of course, Strawberry Suave, and put a quarter sized amount in his hand. What happened after that was nothing short of amazing. I had never felt anything like that before. It was the simplest thing but the most sensual thing that I had ever felt in all of my life. Edward's fingers massaging my scalp, temples, and neck, removing every bit of tension from my body, made me moan ever so softly. He rinsed all the shampoo out and applied the conditioner which he gave the same treatment as the shampoo which brought the same sort of moans from my lips. Edward rinsed it out as well and turned me around to face him.
"Did I do it right," he asked.
"My knees are complete jelly. So that would be a big yes," I replied.
"Good. All I want is for you to be happy, happier than you have ever been."
"As long as I am with you, I don't know what could be any better," I replied as I hugged him to me.
Edward responded to me and tilted my chin up and planted a kiss upon my lips. It was not his usual simple ones. It was much deeper, even more passionate than ones we had experienced the other day, right before he made me stop. There was no stopping today from either of us. All the pretense of holding off was gone. There was no turning back now.
"Bella love, I have something to ask you," Edward said as I had to come up for air.
"Sure. What do you want to know," I asked nonchalantly.
"I'm not sure quite how this will sound but I'm going to try to do this right, though it seems dumb to ask such a thing. Bella, since I'm not going to allow myself to taste your blood yet, I wondered if you would permit me to taste something else."
I knew what he meant. Did he really want to do that to me? I heard about it, read about it, saw it on the internet, and dreamed of him doing it. What else could I do but nod at him like a crazy woman?
"I want you to try and be still," Edward said as he slid down in front of me.
There are no words to successfully describe what he did to me. All I can say is that the pleasure I thought I got from him washing my hair was nothing compared to him pleasuring me in such a way. There was such a firework display going off behind my eyes. I felt like I was exploding in a thousand different directions. My stomach was doing a full gymnastic floor routine. My heart was about to jump out of my chest and still that is not good enough to describe all the things I was feeling. And when I truly opened myself up for him, the noise that he made spurned me on even more. I collapsed in a heap with him cradling me on the floor. Edward kissed me deeply until I could almost feel myself losing consciousness. He let me breath for a bit.
"Funny, Bella. You must breath, love," Edward said. "Was it all you thought it would be?"
"More," I finally managed to say.
"Uh guys, we are playing ball if you want to come down. I had to get another ball. Bye," Alice said followed by her peeling laugh.
I was absolutely mortified. Edward looked at me and snickered.
"She knows doesn't she," I asked.
"Yes. Look I have had to listen to it for years. It is about time I had my place in all of this," he answered.
"So this is all about you getting back at the rest of them for rubbing their sexual exploits in your face, so to speak?"
"No. It's about my happiness. Are your legs asleep? I bet you are ready to get out of the water. Take my hand and I'll help you up," Edward said as he stood up with his hand out stretched.
But I had other plans. I took his hand but let it go once he helped me up and then I placed both of my hands on his chest and pushed with all my might. He looked at me confused but curious so Edward allowed me this just to see what I was doing. Once I had him to the wall I kissed him with all the passion I had in me and then I started to slide to the floor. Then he got the hint.
"No! Bella, no, I will not let you do this. You can't. It is not proper. Please, Bella. No," he pleaded.
"Edward, stop being archaic and chivalrous for once in your life. Give into animal desires. You know that you want this. I can tell," I said.
Edward sucked in a deep breath. I know he could have pushed me away from him but he just held me at arm's length and continued to plea with me.
"Bella, I can't allow you to do this. It would not be proper. It would make you impure."
"Like what you did makes you white as the driven snow. Oh wait. You already are."
"But it is not proper for a wife to do this to her husband."
"In what century?! Edward, honey, women do this to their husbands all the time. And I might add that I am not your wife just yet so let me do this. I want to do this, Edward. Let me show you the love that you showed me. Please."
It was then I felt him let me go. He stopped resisting and let loose. First I'll just say that I really had no clue what I was supposed to actually do to him. Oh sure I had seen a few things and you know how girls talk about things so I did what I had been told. The sounds that came from his lips were like nothing I had ever heard him make before. Even when he pleased me it was not the same as the growls and moans that escaped his perfect lips. When it got too much, he tried to stop me half heartedly. I knew what was coming and I let it happen. What I tasted was like nothing I ever had before, so sweet and so pure. There was a hint of some sort of venom, not enough to hurt me, but enough that I was aware of it. I stood up and looked at him. Edward pulled me in and held me for a very long time. Nothing more than holding me to his body. After a few moments, he kissed me deeply. It was so full of love and passion and all I wanted was more. The kissing turned intense quickly. The next thing I knew was being pulled from the shower, wrapped in a towel, and placed on Edward's bed. He now hovered above me.
"That was quicker than normal," I said.
"I can move really fast when I want to. Bella, my sweet, there is but one more question I need to ask you. Would you allow me the honor to make love to you," Edward asked softly.
"Edward, no. I can't allow you. That is going too far. Don't you want to save anything for our wedding night?"
"I need you, Bella. More than that I want you. I have to make sure that I can do this without killing you. Please let me see if I can control myself."
I was about to give in when Edward had a very angry look on his face.
"Alice Cullen! Get out of my head! I'll tell you when, okay!"
"You know that is a little on the annoying side."
"Sometimes I hate she can see what I am about to do."
"Oh God! She knows?"
"They all know."
"I'll never be able to look at them in the face again."
"I'm sure you'll get over it someday. But can we get back to what were we left off? Forget about everyone else and concentrate on you and me right now."
I was ready. Edward was ready. What more could there be? Just the two of us and our love. The possibilities were endless. All I knew is that I wanted him to be in charge and I would be ever so helpful. I wanted him to be able to control himself. I wanted this to be something we would both remember forever.
I kissed him to let him know I was willing to try, to see how things would work. I knew that this would probably hurt and so did he. That was his main apprehension besides maybe accidently killing me. I knew he could control himself, I knew that Edward would never hurt me. Above all things, he wanted me happy and safe. At that first kiss, that first touch, that first move, I knew he could do this. I knew we could so this. There was so many things going on that I never knew could. My heart felt things, my body responded, my thoughts ran wild, my hands roamed, words came from my lips that even I didn't understand. Edward was attentive. He knew exactly what to do, what to say, how to move, how to touch me, and most importantly how to make it very clear to me how much he loved me. It was the most amazing feelings I had ever known. I knew that all I wanted was Edward. Every last part of him. I wanted to forever feel his hands on me, his lips, his eyes, his breath, his entire body. I wanted to feel both of our bodies riding our wave of absolute pleasure over and over again. There was such love, such passion, such ecstasy that filled the room. It was all around us, hovering in the air, clinging to everything in the room. I never wanted it to end. I wanted it to last forever. But I knew my body was betraying me. I was nearing my end as was Edward. His breathing was coming in fast uneven breaths. For a man who did not need to breathe he was sure sucking in some sharp ones. But I could not keep up with him and breathe myself. Everything was happening so fast. Our bodies gliding into one another, our erratic breathing, and the sound of our moans and groans, that was also coupled with a distinct ripping noise near my head and a slight awareness of feathers all around us. But only knew of our combined euphoria swirling all around us. Such joy, such bliss, such sheer happiness. I don't know when I had ever felt so good. When I could finally open my eyes, I saw Edward staring at me, his breathing finally coming back to normal.
"Bella, Bella. Are you okay," he asked.
I swallowed a big gulp of air and smiled. "I've never been better. And you?"
"Bella, you are telling me the truth? Please don't try to spare my feelings."
"Edward, have I ever lied to you? I am being honest. I don't think I have ever felt this good, ever. See, I knew you could handle this."
"But the comforter not so much. I think I should buy Esme another one tomorrow."
I turned my head slightly and saw that there was a huge hole in it. I snickered and looked back at Edward who was smiling. He lay beside of me and pulled me into him. Edward's body was still warm either from my heat or maybe the shower. Whatever it was I was so glad to be lying beside of him, basking in our love. After about 10 minutes, Edward sighed unhappily. I had a feeling I knew what it was.
"Alice," I asked.
"Alice. She is extremely happy and wants all the details," he laughed.
"Do I really have to tell her anything?"
"Not unless you want to. But we do need to go down to the baseball field."
"Now?"
"Well, not just yet. I'm not exactly sure I can even move."
"Me neither. I feel so good I could purr. Edward, you knew exactly what to do. You're pretty skilled for a virgin."
"Me? I only did what I could tell made you feel good and in turn made me feel good as well. I know it was the right thing to do by the way we each responded. And you're very good as well. Care to explain?"
"Well, uh I asked Alice some things one of those times I was having my slumber party here."
"Oh. And so she gave you all the details on how to please your vampire husband?"
"Pretty much. But I did please you, didn't I?"
"Yes. Ten thousand times over. I do love you, Isabella Swann."
"And I love you, Edward Cullen."
We lay beside one another enveloped in our love. We needed to get up but didn't have the desire to. Edward groaned again and I knew Alice was bothering him.
"Alice," I said again.
"No, not just Alice. Now it's Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. We need to go I suppose," he answered.
"We might want to shower again."
"Why? Oh. Yes, I guess we do have a certain aroma about us. I'll be good if you can."
"Come on, horn dog."
Edward chuckled and we walked back into the shower. He quickly cleaned himself and I watched in awe until he gave me a look which let me know I needed to hurry. When we were done and completely dressed, Edward instructed me to climb on his back and off we went. I smiled as the wind rushed past us and I could hear and feel him laughing. I knew we would be teased relentlessly when we arrived at the field. But it was worth it all to know that Edward and I could safely be together. We would forever be together. I would forever be his beloved.