Disclaimer: I own nothing
Rated: T (Crack!Fic)
Implied Fem!Russia x Canada
Implied America x Canada
"What do you see in her?" America demanded, looking rather pouty when Canada only seemed to be only half-listening to him, "The fling Ukraine, I got that. But this is Russia we're talking about!"
"Does it really matter who I am seeing, Alfred?" Canada replied tiredly, "Anya isn't as bad everyone makes her out to be."
"Anya? ANYA! You're on a human name basis, now?" America grit his teeth with irritation, "Just don't date freakin' Russia! It's probably just a secret plan to take over Canada through seduction."
"We're not living in the Cold War days anymore," Canada sighed, "And there's nothing wrong with Anya. I think she is just interpreted wrong and just a little misunderstood."
"Okay, Mattie," America frowned, as if bringing out the big guns, though it was simply a piece of paper from his pocket, "Here is why you shouldn't fuck around with Russia!" He scribbled on the paper furiously before handing it to his brother nation.
Canada sighed, reading the list (ONLY to amuse America if it would get him to shut up).
Rule 1:
The Dudette is RUSSIA! (And that should explain everything)!
Rule 2:
She's a freakin' HUGE woman! (Mattie, she'll crush you in bed T-T and I don't wanna think about Mattie with anyone else in a bed if it's not with me)
Rule 3:
She's Russia
Rule 4:
She'll spike your beer and rape you or something HORRIBLE! (Arrgh, why aren't you all cuddly-cuddly kissy with me? T^T)
Rule 5:
She's GODDAMN Russia!
"... Really... Alfred?"
America's smile brightened at Canada's words, "Does that mean you're going to dump Russia and we can had hot passionate sex now?" He asked optimistically, though Canada simply slammed his head on the table and simply laid there while America prodded him curiously, "I heard that you can get your ankles behind your ears~!"
"... just go away, Alfred..."