Title: Talk
Author: Iali10
Rating: K+
Summary: "I love you." And she did, so much that it squeezed her heart painfully under her ribs; there would never be anyone quite like Jak, and she would never be getting back the piece of heart she had given him. But, she was just too tired and she didn't want to hurt anymore. Past Jakeira. After Jak II before Jak 3.
Words: 1502
A/N: Okay, so I always wondered why Jak and Keira were so awkward with each other in Jak 3. So I wrote out my version of things, and I tried to make it as painfully awkward as I could (because I'm a mean author). This was supposed to be a Keira study piece, but my brotp feels kind of muddied things up AND I JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. I just wanted to understand her a little better in my own head, but I think I failed. Posting it anyways.
Based on a WriteWorld prompt on tumblr.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FANBASED WORK. JAK AND DAXTER ARE PROPERTY OF NAUGHTYDOG AND ITS LICENSE HOLDERS. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS PIECE OF FICTION.
In hindsight, it probably wasn't her brightest idea to have Jak meet her at a restaurant, or at least not such a popular one with such a cozy atmosphere. It was obvious that the rebel was uncomfortable with the whole experience and he stuck out amongst the everyday citizens- the ones that were being as subtle as a wrench to the face about their staring and discomfort.
Keira bit back a grimace; of course they would recognize the 'savior' of the city (except heroes shouldn't be feared by those they saved, watched like a predator amongst prey as if they would turn on them at any second). Even months after defeating Kor and sending his younger self back into the past, he was still dressed for combat and armed. Whether it was out of ingrained habit or simple paranoia hardly mattered, because he still had a weapon in easy reach even if he hardly needed it to be a true threat, and most people didn't walk around ready for combat unless they were a Guard.
It was on the tip of her tongue to suggest they go elsewhere, back to her garage where they were both more in their element and away from the nosy public. But that's exactly why she had asked Jak to meet her here, because otherwise she'd be tempted to keep quiet, talk about familiar and safe things, and let him hold her hand like he was afraid he would break it. To keep things the same.
It had been two years since she had landed, alone and scared, inside Haven's walls and she had kept her eyes firmly looking back into the past. She had to figure out how to get them home, which seemed so far away. But she knew she could do it; the days were easier with a goal to reach for and it kept her together when things got pretty hard. Two years and a war later, she was still clinging to the past.
Jak had changed. He had grown up and adjusted so much that at first glance there was nothing left of the boy he used to be. His face, which used to be so expressive that his silence was hardly a handicap, was now set in a seemingly permanent frown and his eyes were cold and guarded. Now he spoke but said less than he ever had.
And she had resented it. Haven City had stolen the Jak she had known and left behind a brooding man. Looking back, it was hardly her shining moment- she had reacted like a brat, a child who thought they knew best, and was the one who put a strain in their relationship.
They had both apologized and returned to their old relationship. Then she was able to see that the old Jak was still there, especially the sweetly shy part that was easily flustered by some flirting. Yet the distance between them remained.
There should have been some peace after freeing the city and destroying the Metal Head leader, but they had barely begun celebrating before the next crisis had shown itself. The holes in the Eco shield walls were not easily repaired (though she, her father, and many others had given it their hardest to do so, they just did not have the easy understanding of the system like Vin had), so Metal Heads were finding places to slip inside the city like the sewers and agricultural district. Of course, there was plenty for the big hero to do, and Jak was almost constantly busy.
Yet it was hardly a new thing; back in Sandover he was always rushing off to his next adventure with Daxter on his heels, and they were hardly ever alone when he wasn't (another thing that hadn't changed- she had to explicitly ask the blonde to leave Daxter behind for their meeting). Keira's only concern had been whether or not he was overworking himself, because any time they could spend together would be enough.
Except it hadn't, because nothing she did could get Jak to relax. No, what hurt was that while she couldn't get him to relax, Daxter could. She had seen it done with her own eyes; when the ottsel fell into one of his rants, throwing around emphatic arm movements, Jak's shoulders would loosen up and his smiles would come easier. Must be one of those 'best friend's privileges.'
It was a long familiar stab of envy. Since the day those two had met, they had been nearly inseparable, and it had left her feeling left out and jealous. Everyone had been able to communicate with Jak but no one could have the conversations Daxter managed to have, interpreting the smallest of gesture into full sentences rather than vague ideas. Though Jak had always made time for her she couldn't help but feel second best, and it wasn't the greatest feeling to be jealous of a guy's best friend.
She had brought up her feelings once to Jak, but he had been confused by the entire conversation. Maybe because she had ended up talking in circles due to embarrassment, but not this time.
"Jak." She kept her voice down, hyper aware that every elf in building was focused on them even if the tables closest to them had been emptied, and she didn't want the whole city to be privy to this conversation.
Pulled away from eyeing his surroundings, his blue eyes focused on her and a green eyebrow raised slightly. "What's up? You've been… quiet." Not that he had been a chatterbox himself.
Petite shoulders shrugged helplessly, and her eyes darted off to the side. "Sorry. It's just…" There were a hundred ways to begin this conversation and just as many opportunities for it to be twisted off track, then she would be stuck again at square one again. No, she had to be firm and direct.
First thing, she locked her own green eyes with the blonde's blue, straightened her back, and squared her shoulders. Her voice was even, though she kept from speaking loud enough to be overheard. "We should break up."
His face went slack with surprise for a second, but recovered quickly to pull into a puzzled frown as he searched for a response. If Daxter were here he would most definitely be filling the silence with some choice words to give his partner some time collect himself. But he wasn't here, so all there was a painfully awkward silence with the noise of the other patrons a distant buzz.
If Jak wasn't going to speak, it would be up to her; she drew in a steadying breath. "It's nothing you did, I just-"
"Is this because of that talk?" The surprise had worn off enough for the hurt to settle in his frown, his arms crossing defensively over his broad chest.
"No." She wasn't in the habit of lying. "Sort of." Because there was more to it than being jealous of Daxter, but it wasn't something easily put into words.
It wasn't something Jak was consciously aware of, but he was very charismatic; it hadn't taken him more than a boyish grin to charm most of the people in their village. Even with his new 'anger issues' he was still drawing people in left and right with little effort. People grouped to him and clung (in a sense), but Jak never seemed to exert the same amount of effort to hold anyone close- not even Daxter, because no matter what protest the red head would come up with, they both knew he would follow Jak wherever he went. Connections with people were not something he had to work for.
Something had happened during their time apart, since he now seemed to be able to hang on to at least Daxter with some force, but it seemed to be a bad habit he couldn't completely drop. And Keira was tired of feeling like the only one truly invested, like the only one who cared.
"Jak." Her voice was imploring, her eyebrows arched down, and she reached a hand across the table.
After a moment of hesitation, he slid his own gun-calloused hand over hers and gently held it.
The mechanic gave his hand an un-dainty squeeze back- her hand just as calloused from working with machines- and gave her childhood love a small smile. "I love you." And she did, so much that it squeezed her heart painfully under her ribs; there would never be anyone quite like Jak, and she would never be getting back the piece of her heart she had given him. But, she was just too tired and she didn't want to hurt anymore. "I will always love you, but this is for the best."
For a second, his hand tightened around hers but quickly went slack; an echoing smile curled his lips slightly, only partially forced. "Me too."
Keira hoped that, with time, they would truly be able to smile at each other easily again.
A/N: And then Jak got exiled so they didn't get to work through their feelings and problems.
If you prefer to think that it was all just a big misunderstanding and that they get back together after Jak 3, you are free to do so. If you want to imagine Jak then getting with the guy or girl of your choice, you're free to do that too. I just wanted to focus on Keira's emotions in the moment.
This demanded to be written so I wrote it. The end. I couldn't figure out how to end it so that's a little awkward.