Title: It's not over
Summary: End of the Manga. SasuNaru.
Warning:T for character death (or should that be M? I dunno…)Also, this is a songfic. And this story is about how I want the Manga to end..
Disclaimer: Yes, I own Naruto, in fact, I own all Manga ever drawn. No, of course Naruto's not mine, nor is the song 'It's not over' nor is the band 'Secondhand Serenade'
A/N: Okay, This is not at all what I usually write, so please don't expect thatThis fic is like, all depressing and shit. If you don't like that…then don't read it! I strongly suggest you to listen to the song 'It's not over' by Secondhand Serenade before you start reading this.
They asked me to become the next Hokage yesterday.
It didn't take them long to decide I would be the next. All villagers, including most of the ninja's had begged the elders for me to get the job. After a few hours of complaining about how I was "too young" and "too rash" they all gave in, concluding that it maybe would be a good change for the village.
Just one day after the execution of Danzo. Just one week after they had found out his true intentions with the title of strongest man in the village- intentions that would cause the village harm, so much that it would eventually destroy it from inside out.
They found out how he intended to manipulate the jounin, the chuunin, the genin, and all other villagers that were not shinobi, including the elders, who had influence on the whole fire country. He was going to manipulate everyone, bending them to his will, using the sharingan to make everyone believe he was right, that his word was the unchangeable truth, his sayings were the pure justice everyone needed.
However, Danzo failed. The roots had betrayed him after they had figured out how to remove the seal on their tongue that made them swear loyalty. They had told the other 5 kages, they had the ultimate proof by showing Danzou's paperwork.
Sai had played a big role in all this. He had finally found his new purpose in life that could make him happy. He had finally understood what he really cared for.
His team. His friends. His village.
Sai left the roots, and now helped to protect the village. He fell in place and knew he was doing the right thing.
Although he still needs some work at his social skills.
But back to the point. They asked me to become Hokage yesterday.
I said 'no'.
Wait. That wasn't my exact answer.
Of course I wanted to become hokage- it's always been my life goal, after all. But when they asked me, I expected to feel happy, I expected my heart too burst with excitement, jump with utter euphoria at the thought of finally having everyone accepting me, and to may protect all those that were in the village.
But I didn't feel those all that. In fact, I felt rather miserable. It's not like I wasn't sure if I was old and wise enough to do it. It's not like I was doubting my abilities to protect. Never had any of these thoughts came into my mind. It was just that it didn't feel right.
I had this intense feeling that something was missing. And the more I thought of it, worse and worse it seemed to become.
Yes, something was definitely missing. Not only something that hindered me from becoming, but something much bigger. There was something missing from my life. There was a piece that was still empty, and needed to be filled.
I decided to wait until that piece was found, 'till I had the feeling I was ready.
Thus I pleaded the elders to wait a little longer. I begged them to have a little patience.
I know I was being selfish. I know the village needed me right now, that there was no time left to wait.
The elders were worrying about the village a great deal, but still agreed. Probably only because of the letter Tsunade left. It had almost moved me to tears, reading it- it said how much trust the old hag had in me, how much she wanted me to become her successor.
Still, the elders had agreed to wait for one week, and so I went feverishly seeking for the 'missing piece'.
Also, Sakura asked me to go out with her.
It was around noon when she suddenly stood in front of my door, a white flower in her shiny pink hair and wearing a casual dress that looked great on her. Her bright green eyes were sparkling as she smiled sweetly. Even prettier than normally. Even better, she was blushing! She looked so cute.
Yes, she asked me. Usually it was vice versa, and usually it was me who got to hear 'no'.
That's right.
I said 'no.'
As she stood before me my mouth had automatically opened to say the obvious. But I didn't say it. Somehow, I couldn't. The thing I was supposed to say wouldn't pass my lips, no matter what. Just thinking about it made my insides burn up, screaming not to say it. It made my heart squeeze in warning and my mind spin with...remorse? guilt? It hurt. Not physically. That's what I could handle, but when it came to mental stuff I was weaker, easier to hurt, more vulnerable . Just like him…
And to my surprise, as well as hers: 'no, I don't want to go out with you.'
The girl I'd always wanted to be with. The girl I thought and think is pretty, strong, smart, caring, kind (most of the time), cute and intelligent.
The girl my feelings had always been burning for. At the academy. When we became genin. On missions. At the chuunin exam. When training with Jiraiya.
When he left…
There she was. Standing before me, looking more attractive than ever.
And there it was again; That feeling that just appeared out of thin air: the disappointing feeling of misery, but only slightly different: This time it didn't feel like there was a piece missing, but like…. like if I'd say 'yes' I'd be cheating. Cheating on someone. It was like there was already someone I loved, already someone I'd given my heart to.
It was so weird to feel something like that, knowing that there was no such person to me. Even weirder was to know that my subconsciousness somehow had the idea that there actually iwas/i such a person to me.
Sakura was so in shock and confused she didn't even hit me. She was probably near tears as she ran away from me.
I felt really bad after I realized how much of a jerk I had been. I felt even worse when I remembered what Sai said about how difficult it had been for her to talk about it.
The two things I'd wanted almost all my life. The two things I'd give everything for up until now. Both of them I got offered.
I refused both of them in a fleeting moment, just because of a sudden feeling!
I have to find out what the cause of that feeling is. And I better soon find it, or the two things I worked so hard for will be gone, then all the effort I put into it will be wasted.
And it was soon that I found out what caused the feeling. Better said- who caused it.
It was too soon maybe, but at the same time too late.
It was too soon for me to accept, to understand, to get used to, to believe and to live with.
It was too late for me to have taken action. Too late to confess. Too late to make up for the wasted years.
It was then that I found out, still too late, that I realized: I couldn't become Hokage yet because I wouldn't see him standing in the crowd, cheering for me, a small glint of happiness and pride noticeable in his eyes. Because he wasn't here to help me trough hard times, sharing the pain, making the loneliness go away merely with his presence.
I couldn't be together with Sakura, couldn't stay by her side, because I wanted to be with him.
Sasuke.
Where are you?
What are you doing right now?
Are you thinking of me, too?
flashback
"Sai, give me that book!" I reached for the book the pale artist hold above my head, but as soon as I touched it, it disappeared in ink.
"the real book is here" Sai said cheerfully, a fake smile plastering his face.
"Give it to me!"
"Sure. Here you are, dickless" he hold it forward. I quickly snatched it out of his hands.
"Thanks." But my smile quickly turned into a frown. "Hey! What did you call me?!"
"What are you talking about, dickless?"
"Don't call me that!" I knew it was pointless to say that, anyway, but who cares.
I looked at the book. 'FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Learn the difference! Now With 1500 *Realistic* Situations!!!' stood with big shiny letters on the cover.
I looked at him with narrowed eyes. He was still smiling.
"Why do you have this, Sai?"
"I thought it would be useful."
That was very suspicous.
"Useful for what?"
"Things I want to find out"
Even more suspicious.
I looked up to give him a dark glare when suddenly, an idea hit me.
"Hey, can I borrow this?"
"Why?"
"I want to look up if me and Sakura are more than friends or not!"
"It's 'Sakura and I' not 'Me and Sakura'. And yes, you can borrow it."
And so come I read the book, constantly angrily muttering, 'Sakura and I, Me and Sakura… Who cares!'
While skipping trough the 'realistic situations' searching for something that looked similar to Sakura and I, my eye fell on the category 'searching lost person'. Eventually, I started to read the situation.
'There's a person you lost and disappeared out of your life. It's been long ago since that happened, but you still keep on searching for that person. You won't give up, no matter what, to get your precious person back. There's no single day you're not thinking about that one, even if it causes you lots of trouble.'
I snorted humorlessly. This wasn't a realistic situation at all. Who would be that dramatic?- Wait a minute! Come to thinkof it.. wasn't this exactly the sort of situation I had with Sasuke?.
Oh, well. then it should be a 'friends' situation.
I looked at the bottom of the page.
'This situation is a 'lovers' with 5 hearts: the highest score!
TIP: Confess to your long lost lover as soon as you find him/her!'
"w-what?" I blinked.
I rubbed in my eyes. It was no illusion.
I pinched my arm. It was no dream.
With a red spot on my arm and an irritated eye I threw the book on the floor, and fell back on my bed.
What was going on? Was this book written by someone who was just making shit up?
Probably.
But really, did all my friends think like that, too? ...Did they think Sasuke and I had been 'more than friends'?
I furrowed my brows. They didn't really think so, did they? That'd be extremely weird.
Sasuke... and I
That sounded pretty good, somehow.
I quickly shook my head. What was I, insane?! I was a guy, and so was Sasuke! There was no way we could be lovers. That was just ridiculous and disturbing.
That stupid book.
That stupid book that was the trigger of everything.
Next day, after I got a warning from Shizune that the elders were starting to get impatient, I went to ask almost all of my friends how you could know who the one was you loved.
Well, let's say it didn't help me one tiny bit.
Ten-ten shrugged, Neji said fate would tell you, that your destiny would make itself known eventually. Chouji told me (between loud, open-mouthed munching of his favorite BBQ chips) it depended on the food you ate, Hinata blushed, quietly stammered something I couldn't quite understand and fainted, while Lee's whole face lit up at my question and shouted, 'So you finally found your loved one, my youthful friend? I won't lose to you, my friend! Let's now celebrate our youthfulnes with running 350 laps around the village..' and so on.
Kiba didn't give a proper but just laughed at me and teased me about how 'girlish' I was. Shino... forget it. Ino told me some difficult story about how much flowers meant in the story of love. I didn't have enough guts to ask Sakura, Shikamaru sighed and muttered, 'troublesome' before dozing off again. Worst yet was Sai, who gave me one of the scariest smiles I'd ever seen and said, 'How would I know, Naruto-kun?', before kissing me on the cheek, and simply walking away.
As you can see, after that I was freaked out.
The next day, I asked Kakashi-sensei. His answer wasn't worth anything.
Next up was Iruka-sensei.
"Iruka-sensei?"
"Yes, Naruto?"
"Who is the one I love?"
Iruka blinked uncharactisticely. "Well, I suppose you love your friends... and practically everyone in the village, right? In a way. You'll be hokage, after all."
"No, that's not what I meant. How.. how do I know who's the one I'm/iin ilove with?
man, this was even more embarrassing than I thought it would be
Iruka looked away. "umm... maybe you should ask Kakash-"
"He said I should read Icha Icha paradise. I'm not going to do that."
"oh. oh, okay." he lauged nervously "w-well, I suppose that would be your dearest person. The one most precious to you." he said while scratching the scar at his nose thoughtless.
I did some ultra-quick brainstorming. My dearest person? The one most precious to me? Who would that be?
I tried to ignore my mind that kept screaming, "Sasuke! It's Sasuke, idiot!".
I frowned when my attempts of ignoring didn't work. "shut up.." I murmured then.
"excuse me?" Iruka was frowning, too.
"huh? oh, oh sorry, Iruka-sensei. I wasn't talking to you, honestly."
"oh, okay."
an extremely awkward silence followed.
I rubbed the back of my neck and laughed half-heartedly
"umm.. thank you for the advice! Let's go to Icharaku's for some ramen."
"s...sure." he began scratching at his scar again, but it was painfully obvious he was glad we left the subject 'love' behind.
That evening, I couldn't get it off my mind again.
I wondered, when had I started to feel about Sasuke this way? I was certain about it; there was no doubt that I felt something for my best friend. Something past the limits of friendship. I probably already knew that, subconciously. I had just needed a situation to think about it.
I wasn't shocked anymore like I'd been when I first read Sai's book.
I mean, hey, there's nothing wrong about being gay. hell, two of my sensei's whom I admired very much ,were gay. And for all I know, Sai was as well. I don't think anyone else noticed that, though.
I don't think your sexual orientation matters. It's all about yourpersonality, after all. But still, Uzumaki Naruto, who had crushed on Haruno Sakura forever, and had peeped on girls at the hot springs like a healthy straight boy- bi?
It was hard to understand.
My mind did some weird stuff to prove me wrong, and gave me a reminder on the first time I'd ever felt something more for Sasuke:
Konohamaru's new super-yummy jutsu with the girls. That was totally hot.
But then, the one with the boys. Sasuke and Sai, nontheless. Oh yes, Sakura's expression was absolutely priceless, and that was worth it. Still, I was mad at Konohamaru for a reason I did not know.
I thought it was because I A) was freaked out by that jutsu, or B) because I wondered when he had made that technique. He must've seen it somewhere, I think. I can't picture him developing that all by himself, anyway.
or C) because Sasuke would never. do that. to. Sai.
why Sai?! They didn't even know each other, and even iif/i they did, there was no way Sasuke would be attracted to Sai!
Why couldn't that stupid Konohamaru think of something more realistic? Like me and Sasuke. That'd be more reasonable.
Imagining the Uchiha doing something like that sent a stir of arousal to my lower regions.
It was only when Konohamaru called for me that I realized how extremely wrong it was that I was getting hard at the thought of my best /iguyi friend and I in a sexual situation.
Sakura told me later that I, very angry looking, dispelled that jutsu.
Very angry looking? I even dispelled it? This was madness.
I made sure to block that memory forever. Just like the memory of the incredible happiness mixed with desire I felt when we found him at Orochimaru's hideout. That time he half-hugged and half-whispered into my ear (That's how I experienced it, anyway) and that memory of the valley of the end. How much I'd missed him then. Just how long had I been in love with him? How long had I known it wasn't only the promise I made to Sakura that made me want to bring him back?
Sasuke.
Where are you now?
What are you doing?
Are you thinking of me, too?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An amazing crack like hundreds of crazy thunderstorms molding together ripped trough the air and crushed the silence, causing all people within 100 meter radius to widen their eyes in shock and give each other a look of distress.
The wordless scream of horror drowned with that overwhelming sound, losing it's noise like the quiet chirp of a roach to a mighty roar of a lion.
I could hear that scream trough the ear-deafening crackle of sound. It was me.
At the top of my longs, "No!'" as I watched him jump in front of me, block the final attack, with his body. The giant sharp-edged flames of endless black fire were being absorbed by his eyes. The fire that should have destroyed me, and burned me and everything around to ashes was now slowly disappearing into the burning crimson eyes, only silence remaining.
His sharingan eyes had sucked in all of the blow in less than a minute. It was unbelievable how such a strong attack, the most scaring dangerous thing I'd ever seen disappeared in such a small amount of time. Then, with the same ear-deafening noise all of the attack came out of his eyes again, but this time it was aimed at Madara. Just as I had been, he was unable to protect himself, and there was nobody to protect him. The former of the Uchiha clan was hit by his own attack, and he burned immediately.
And it was silent. So terrifyingly silent. It was then that I realized something was wrong.
At the top of my longs, "No!" as I saw his body shiver, and fall down oh so slowly, like a flow of syrup
Without me even noticing the first tears started to run down my cheeks. I didn't try to stop it, I knew I couldn't. I know this may not sound like me at all- It was just such an emotional moment.
Sasuke. I hadn't seen him for another long year, now here he was and all sort of memories came rushing back to me, all at once. All the things we'd ever shared, the anger rushing trough us when we were fighting each others like idiots again, the jealousy when comparing our strength, the pride when either one of us had won a little insult-fight, but also the sadness and misery we both knew we felt when we entered our lonely, empty houses again and just the simple pure happiness of sharing, of being together, too. And of course, the quick kiss we accidently shared in front of the class. It had seemed really weird and disgusting back then, but thinking about kissing Sasuke nowadays caused my heart to skip a beat and an unfamiliar feeling to flip my stomach. Oh, how much has changed.
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you, or is it me?
"Sasuke!" I jumped forward and my feet lost their grip on the rough surface of the ground. I slid trough the dirt, my arms outstretched and reaching for his falling body. Just in time, I managed to grab him before his limp body made contact with the ground. My own arms smashed against the stone, trapped between the not-so-flat surface and the Uchiha's body. The pain was barely noticeable compared to how suddenly a shudder ran up my spine when I saw his closed eyes. The expression on his handsome features wasn't right. Another shudder that put goose bumps on my arms ran down.
I pulled him close, "Sasuke?! Sasuke, answer me!"
I barely recognized my own voice.
He didn't move at all, but his eyes opened slowly.
"S-sasuke? Sasuke!"
Half-lidded onyx eyes looked up at me. They were flat and hold no emotion.
One moment I thought he was dead.
"s-shut…up" he whispered. His voice was weak. His words hold no power "you're too loud."
Despite everything, despite the circumstances I chuckled. The brokenness of his voice should have frightened me, but it didn't. The way he talked was the way I knew him. This was the same old Sasuke. Sasuke the shinobi from Konoha.
"Sasuke." My voice was thick with relief. I hugged him tightly.
"I'm so glad you're okay. Sakura-chan will be very pleased to see you again! I'm so happy that you are coming back! You are coming back, right? You are coming back…aren't you? To Konoha, where you belong!" he had never been a talker, but his lack of responsiveness bothered me. Why wasn't he saying anything? "Sasuke?"
The look on his face was one I'd never forget. It was so hurtful to see the pain in his eyes. "I'm not coming back, Naruto."
"W-what?!" it made me angry "What are you talking about, Sasuke?! You have to come back now! You've done all you wanted to do: defeat your brother! Well you did it! I'm- no, we are all so proud of you! Don't you get it? You're forgiven! Danzo is gone and nobody will persecute you! Y-you're all good to come back! To…" I looked away, gazing at the ground "…come with me…"
"I know, but I can't." the words were hard and cold. I couldn't understand it. I never believed my teammate had changed. I'd never believed he was a betrayer, I'd never believed he would harm someone unnecessary.
I had never believed he wouldn't want to come back when he completed his life goal. He had finally killed Itachi, so what was more to his life?
"Yes, you can. Cut out the crap, Sasuke. I know you had to kill your brother to avenge your family. I know you would've never found peace if you wouldn't. But I can't find that peace if I don't bring you back! I don't believe that you have changed!" I saw he tried to interrupt, but my hand clasped over his mouth fast enough. The feeling of his soft lips against my palm was enough to encourage me to continue.
"You should know.." I lowered my gaze again, and swallowed, before eying him. "I like you. More than I should…p-probably."
His eyes widened. I looked away in embarrassment. Should I have said that? It didn't feel like a relief, like I'd expected. I just wished, with all my heart, that Sasuke would feel the same
"That's not it… Naruto, I'm dying."
"n…no! What are you talking about?!"
"I'm dying. It might have looked like I sent that attack back to him, but that doesn't mean the fire didn't hit me. The Amaterasu he uses is different from the normal ones- I've never seen something so destroying before. It's his special ability. Once that attack hits something it's over. It's already inside of me, burning… I may look unharmed right now, but then suddenly it will…" he trailed off
"But.. No! I won't let you die here, Sasuke. I'll get Tsunade! She'll- she'll heal you."
He must've noticed how unsure my words sounded.
"She's not in the best states herself, is she?"
"Sakura, then! And- and Ino's a medical ninja, too! I swear you won't-"
"Naruto." The calm of his voice brought me to immediate silence.
"It's okay. This is, apparently, how it's supposed to be. Stop wasting our last minutes, I have to tell you… stuff."
"Y-you... It's not true!" but my voice broke. Deep inside I already understood that it was too late, but I couldn't stand that I had accepted the fact so easily that Sasuke was, in fact, dying. I couldn't help but to be angry, but not at Madara, not even at myself. It was his fault! ihe/i shouldn't have saved me! He hadn't need to die here!
"Why!? Dammit, why did you save me?! I didn't need you to! You don't care about me!" the moment it passed my lips I knew it wasn't true. The hurt clearly visible in his eyes confirmed that.
"I do care about you. You have no idea how much."
Only that. No further explaining. He was too proud for such things. "I-" my anger had already gone away as he spoke to me, but I just didn't want to admit it. "You haven't answered my question yet! Why did you protect me?"
"I don't know. It's just-"
"No! I don't want to hear that this time! That is what you said last time, too! Don't you remember, when you protected me at the wave country, so many years ago? It was exactly the same! And the same answer; 'I don't know. My body just moved on it's own.'" I inhaled trough my nose deeply before continuing, "it's bullshit. I want to hear the real reason now. If you care so much about me, then tell me what exactly I mean to you."
I felt embarrassment heating my cheeks as I spoke. Why was I talking like this? I was Uzumaki Naruto, not some lovesick teenager!
To my great surprise, he smiled. A weak, sad smile. I wondered if this was how he truly was. He was so mature. He had grown up so fast by all the years of misery he'd experienced. "Idiot. That was not what I was going to say." He meant it. I saw his truthful eyes. "Why I saved you is because, I don't know, It's just that you're my dearest person."
My eyes were wide and my mouth opened and closed without producing any sound.
That's what Iruka-sensei said; Your dearest person. The one most precious, that's the one you love.
What was Sasuke implying? I didn't doubt he was serious, he would never make a joke like that, after all.
When I didn't say anything, he spoke again, "There's a lot that I found out the past years. I suppose you haven't heard this yet but Itachi was innocent. He was forced to kill my clan, I don't have time to explain it right now but please believe me, you'll find out later, eventually." When he talked about 'later', his voice cracked a bit.
He continued, "Itachi made only one mistake: not to tell me. He never told me. After I found this out all this, I didn't have left any emotional balance at all. I even wanted to destroy all of Konoha, up until a few days ago. Until I saw you walking there, still searching for me. Searching for me, even though you knew I joined the Akatsuki, even though you had heard of all terrible things I had done…" he swallowed, and struggled for words. "you gave me new hope.
"I've always liked you. You have no idea what I wanted to do to you, even when we were just small kids, I had lost my innocence long ago. It was so hard for me to understand why I had saved you back then in the wave country, that emotion was completely new for me-"
He suddenly tensed, and coughed up blood.
"I – cough – I should have realized that you were my most precious person, even back then. I protected you because you were dearest to me. But I lied to both myself and you. I told you it just happened out of the blue. I told myself that it was nothing big. I kept running away from myself. From you. I truly have been foolish: Why didn't I realize that it was that reason why I kept thinking about you all the time, when with Orochimaru, and after.
But now that there's little time left, there's no point in denying it. It wouldn't if you can't return that feeling…" he trailed off again
And all the words we never say come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
"Kiss me." It wasn't a question. It was an order. 'Just fucking do it.' I'd wanted to add, but I didn't need to.
He put his hand on my chest, pushing me back against the ground, and leaned over me.
His soft (and surprisingly warm) lips pressed against mine. He didn't hesitate to glide his tongue along my lips, as if asking permission to enter, asking access to my mouth.
My eyes fluttered close and I opened my mouth immediately. I tilted my head to give both of us a better angle for more. Tongues moving against each other, caressing each other, mirroring each others movements. He tasted slightly like blood, but beyond that I could also taste ihim/i.
His taste was unique and couldn't be compared to a taste of any kind of food or object. One of my hands had found it's way up to his soft hair, also pressing him closer to me. Our fingers entangled and my legs wrapped around his waist.
It was so passionate, so loving, too. All of our feelings were shared in this kiss. At the same time it was desperate, after all years of loneliness we were together. We knew this wouldn't last. We knew this first kiss would be the last one.
Now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I moaned softly as the kiss broke. Black half-lidded eyes met blue ones.
"God, 'suke, I love you."
Our position didn't change as minutes passed. We were lost in the feeling of each other.
"I were foolish, too." I finally whispered. "I should have realized it earlier too. I had felt it, I did all the time. As if somehow we were destined to be together. However, I didn't recognize that feeling. I've never felt love like that." my lips brushed his as I spoke
"But it's too late now, isn't it?"
Realization crashed down hard on me. We weren't going to be together. This story in which the lovers had finally found each other didn't have a happy ending.
Sasuke was going to die very soon, too soon to get help. He would be dead within less than half an hour, and I would be alone. Alone for the rest of my life.
There wouldn't be anyone who could replace Sasuke.
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
"No, Naruto." he said, and carefully pushed my legs from him, sat up straight, pulling me up too. "Don't think such things… You.." he spit out blood on the ground next to him.
"Don't give up. I know you won't give up, that's what I like most about you." He coughed again, before grabbing both of my hands. "Listen, Listen to me. You're going back to the village, alright. Then you will become hokage. Become the best hokage man has ever known, I believe you can do that. Never give up, always keep protecting everyone." He squeezed my hands."Do you understand?"
I nodded shakily, tears rolling down my cheeks.
He nodded too, and our lips met in a short, comforting kiss.
I'm shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led, But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
We just looked at each in silence again. We wanted this to last. Even more so now that we knew time was running out. Sasuke's breathing was short and heavy, and it became worse and worse.
'If we are destined together, supposed to be together, why is this nightmare happening?'
Such questions I needed not to think of. I wanted to be simply together with Sasuke for the last minutes. Still, the questions didn't stop.
He must have seen the pained look on my face.
"Dobe" he whispered
Tons of memories rushed into my head. All of our little fights and bickering, including this childish name-calling. It seemed out of another life, A whole other world, even. Did that really happen, all those years ago? Were we Sasuke and Naruto then, too?
Yes, we had remained the same trough all the years. Despite our appearance we were still childish and both idiots. We hadn't changed.
"teme" was my muttered reply.
"hn." He said, staying in-character
I decided to play along. I puffed out my cheeks and looked away. Then I eyed him again, pouting.
We laughed. Not just half-heartedly to lighten the atmosphere, but Real Laughter.
I wondered if I even noticed before how much I had missed this.
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
Seconds passed. There was so much that I wanted to tell him, so many questions that I wanted to ask him. There was such a lot of time that I wanted to spend just with him.
There was so littlle time that was left
"Naruto" he sighed, "What are you going to do, when I'm gone?"
"d-dammit Sasuke..why are you asking such…" I didn't want to understand why he was saying that. It was to deep to think about that.
"I-I don't want to talk about this. I can't imagine... without...." I slung my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder.
We were like darkness and light. sun and moon. day and night. Our relationship didn't make sense at all, but the more in love, the less sense anything makes.
We were so different, we were exact opposites. How come at the same time it's oh-so true opposites attract?
We were darkness and light. Darkness doesn't excist without light, and Light doesn't excist without darkness. We were two halves of a whole, unable to survive without each other.
"why.. can't we stay.. like this.." it wasn't even a question.
"Because this won't last forever." There was regret in his voice. "We should have… years ago. If I only had told you…"
"it's not your fault.."
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I wonder what we would be doing now if we had always been together. I wonder how we would live now if we had been a couple years and years ago? Since we would share everything, he would feel less alone, and he probably wouldn't have left the village. The photograph of Team 7 would stand next to a picture of Sasuke and I alone, cuddling or something like that.
He would've never met the members of team Hebi, who were all long dead. I would've never met Sai or Yamato.
It would be so different.
We would have done so many things together, things we would now never do.
Argue because of pointless things, eat ramen together, think about the old times when our fighting wasn't just playfully, train together, talk and walk, kiss and touch, make love all night….
He coughed again, not being able to stop this time.
The second were ticking away faster than we could keep up, the time slipping out of our hands.
I laid him down, watching him closely.
"N-naruto..." forced out, and jerked my head closer to his "Promise me, promise me you will -cough- think of me every day and -cough- become the best hokag..-" he suddenly turned twice as pale as he was before. He bit his lip to prevent screaming out loud. He gave his all to continue speaking, "b-be happy... I don't want you..-" his eyes shut tightly. Sweat rolled down his temples. He opened his eyes again "..I don't want you miserable. so be happy.."
"Sasuke.. I-i will."
He tossed his head from side to side, blood streaming out of his eyes and mouth. He struggled to say something. "g-give m.." he shuddered violently "your w-word.."
"I promise! I swear! I won't forget about you! I'm.. I'm going to become the best hokage."
He nodded, weak smile forming around his lips that were now stained with blood.
"Please... Sasuke. Say it. I.. need to hear you say it."
I knew I didn't need to explain to him what I meant. We were thinking in the exact same lines right now, like our minds were connected because they didn't want to lose the other, either. Like they couldn't live without the other.
A few drops of transparant liquid fell down on my lap.
Rain. Like at the valley of the end all those years ago.
"I... love you, d-dobe..."
My heart seemed to burst together with the clouds as I heard those words coming from his mouth. He'd swallowed his pride for once, just for me, and me alone.
Rain poured down, washing away the blood from his face.
"I really love yo..u" A small spark of fire lit his coal black eyes, before it slowly went away. His body spasmed a few times.
The light in his eyes went out.
I don't know how long I looked at him. I memorized his face in utter detail, even years after: Blank, flat eyes and unmoving face, though he still had a peaceful look, with that last small smile on his lips.
beautiful.
My vision blurred with tears. Not because I was sad, but because he was beautiful.
Sasuke had finally found peace, after living the most difficult, the most hurtful life one can imagine.
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
But as I let my tears flow with the pouring rain, and my cries of pain mix with the sound of thunder, I did not believe in those words.
I was becoming Hokage tomorrow. I was going to be happy.
That was what he wanted.
Even though I would be alone, I would be happy.
Doesn't change the fact that my rival, my best friend, my love was dead. Doesn't change it.
OWARI
A/N: Hate me yet?
Believe it or not, but I really want the manga to end with Sasuke's death and all depressing shit, leaving the rest for the readers to imagine.
I strongly suggest you to listen to the song 'It's not over' by Secondhand Serenade.
You may also see this as a sequal to 'And when the rain falls', but it doesn't necesserily have to be.
If this made you cry, or at least a little teary then please REVIEW. I'd love to hear what you guys think about this piece.
Please keep in mind English is not my native language. Thank you. This also might have a few grammar mistakes and stuff like that: I wrote it on WordPad without any grammar check, haha.
then again, review, please.