I decided to April Fools the March Madness HiJack prompts. As in, for a practical joke, post all the March Madness stuff during April instead of March.

Hilarious, innit? Muahahaha~

I tried to edit this as best as I could, but if there are still mistakes, remember that I am only human. If you see anything funky-dory, don't hesitate to point it out. Concrit is wanted, but any and all you guys can give me will be welcomed with open arms.

I'm also trying to do these with a time limit...? So, if it sounds unfinished, then it probably is, haha. But these are also supposed to be drabbles, I think, sooo...It's excused? Me no know, me no comprende, me just writey-write, yah yah.

Rated: K+

WARNING: Humor, Lazy teenage boys, mentions of technophobia, OOCness, flirting, MILDEW, mentions of character death.

I think I covered everything–Oh the disclaimer!

I, in no way, shape, or form, seek a profit from this writing. This is for educational purpsoes only. I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, Rise of the Guardians, Spongebob, Tangled, any cardboard-box-play-toys, a laptop, a smartphone capable of conference calling, a prosthetic, a really long tree branch, or the Smolder look. Each of those are owned by their own respective owners...yeah.

Day 1: Birthday

So, he was turning 15 today.

And he wasn't having a birthday party.

Because it wasn't February 29th.

Even though it was.

Yeah, confusing birthdays, woohoo.

Hiccup rolled out of his bed and flopped onto the floor like a fish. And proceeded to chuckle like a dork at the Spongebob pun he himself had just thought of, all while struggling to get on his suddenly-too-tight prosthetic and make his way back downstairs.

He'd spent literally the whole morning in constant transition from the living room to his bedroom. He'd woken up and eaten downstairs while watching some pointless sitcom. Then he'd traveled back up to read a few chapters of a book he'd read at least five times before. After he'd gone down for a snack and watched the news for a full half hour. Proceeding that was a pointless travel back to his room for some computer time, which ended up being a bust because his computer suddenly sparked and started smoking, and Hiccup had panicked and tossed it into his bathtub and turned on the water because maybe it was setting itself on fire, but it'd been a fluke and when it met the water it really HAD become a fire so he'd turned on the shower and well… His laptop was probably broken, now.

Maybe.

Back downstairs after that for a needed glass of lemonade and to listen to the stereo for a while during a spontaneous cleaning session, before he went back upstairs to take a nap.

And it was only ten o'clock in the morning.

Hiccup groaned out, "Boring!" and rolled onto his stomach. He stared aimlessly at the dust bunnies beneath his bed. His eyes spied a familiar looking box-thing, and he squinted. What..?

The teenager struggled his way into the little space between his bed frame and the floor, scrambling for the object. It took five minutes, fourteen seconds, three sneezes, and twelve agonizing blinks to clear his eyes of the dust and tears before he managed to snatch it up. With a single swipe, the object slid out and revealed itself to be a dusty photo album.

It was more like a mini-binder reformed into a kindergarteners picture book.

The cover was doodled in marker and crayon with the two most hideous shades of blue and green Hiccup had ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes upon. In big, rainbow, cloud-shaped letters stated "Best Frensd Four Ever" which he assumed was supposed to be translated as "Best Friends Forever". Beneath it were two stick figures–the blue figure drawn upon the green background, and vice versa for the green–holding hands. Hiccup blinked and wondered why this felt so familiar.

He opened it to the first page, and found a picture of him and–Oh. Jack.

Okay, yeah, he was remembering it now.

Back when his mother was still...alive...she'd thought of making a photo album with him and Jack, sort of like documenting their childhood together. Wow, how old was this thing?

In the photo, he was four and Jack was probably six, giving each other side hugs and the camera big, toothy(more like toothless) grins. He was wearing his old favorite How To Train Your Dragon shirt–gods, he missed that TV show, why'd they have to take it off air?–and Jack was sporting his infamous blue hoodie, except it was too big for him, and they'd tied the sleeves around his neck so it looked more like a blue cape.

Hiccup smiled at the memory, very faintly remembering that day. But it was too unclear and hazy for his fifteen-year-old-mind to recall, so he flipped to the next page.

There were two pictures now, each inserted into their own plastic-covered page. They were still the same age as before, but in this one they were aboard cardboard boxes covered in crayon squiggles. Hiccup was standing proudly in The Hopeful Puffin, a plastic Viking hat falling off his head and a foam diamond Minecraft sword raised high above his head. Fishlegs–that had to be him, really, no one else would be doing that in the face of imaginary adventure–was chilling on the grass, leaning against the box-turned-boat and reading a book designated for second graders even though he was still in kindergarten. Jack's picture showed him in a fighting pose with a giant branch in hand, smirking viciously towards imaginary foes. Hiccup took a wild guess at what his cardboard box was supposed to be and decided it was Santa's sleigh. Jack's adoptive older brother, looking about ten years old back then, was sitting in the back. Aster looked uncomfortable and Hiccup assumed it was because his legs couldn't fit in the box. It was a hilarious picture to look at, and Hiccup found himself laughing, despite the nostalgia.

A few pages after that, Hiccup gained a flashback with just a glimpse at the pictures.

He remembered being six years old when they took a trip back to Berk. Somehow, he and Jack had managed to convince their families to work together and buy a round trip for them all. He and his best friend had been beyond excited, two tiny kids vibrating with energy and practically bouncing everywhere. He remembered meeting Merida there and being dazzled by her faux-archery skills, and he remembered Jack and Astrid fighting so much they were like bulldogs battling for the last chicken bone. He remembered Dagur spoiling their trip by locking him and Fishlegs up in the doghouse, and he remembered Jack being the only one to stand up for them, until of course Aster came and beat the crap out of Dagur. Oh man, such good memories. These pictures were just a series of tourist attractions he had taken Jack to. The most important one was where they had a group photo, both him and Jack clinging to each other, with Merida somehow atop them with her red curls in everyone's faces, and Astrid punching Snotlout somewhere to Hiccup's right, and Aster on Jack's left while giving Dagur the stink-eye who was all the way at the far right of the picture. And there was Fishlegs, awkward as ever amidst the twins, who were already fighting each other and looked to be mid-roll when the picture was taken. Snotlout was trying to show off his tiny arms, pretending he had the same body as his Dad. Baby Tooth, Jack's cousin, was trying to block Camicazi from releasing her slingshot towards some unsuspecting passersby.

Good times.

Hiccup started thumbing through pages as fast as he could.

There, he recognized the Santa Claus-esque piñata at Jack's ninth birthday party. And over there, a class photo from their first summer camp the summer he'd turned eight. And he would never forget that perfect moment they'd accidentally captured on camera when Snotlout somehow ended up with a crab in his pants when they all went to the beach–

He paused, fingers lightly tracing over a crude drawing taped right into the book. On it, he could just barely make out two figures sketched as angels amongst all the smudges. He frowned, the memories as vivid as if it had happened yesterday.

He remembered the car accident during the thunderstorm. He remembered waking up in the hospital, missing a left leg and a mother. He remembered his father trying to hide everything from him, and after Jack hadn't visited for a full week, he remembered panicking and wailing like a four-month-old nuisance. He remembered his father shushing him and just barely telling him about the accident at the lake that had happened at the same time as the car accident.

He remembered feeling numb for a long, long time after that.

His breath whooshed out in an exhausted sigh. Gods, taking a trip down memory lane was so tiresome. Who would've known it could be this taxing? Maybe if Jack were here, he could make things better, a little more fun.

But he wasn't, and Hiccup had no way to contact him, because he was–

"Hiccup!"

Hiccup shrieked, banging his head against his bed and the album flying out of his grasp. He groaned, then growled, stomping over to his window and throwing it open with such force that the glass vibrated. "WHAT?!"

Jack stared up at him from his side lawn with wide eyes, taking a step back.

Hiccup blinked, then cursed, rubbing his head. With a sigh, he collapsed against his window ledge, blowing a raspberry and waving away his previous shout like it was nothing. "S-Sorry! I didn't mean to...yell...like that… Just, something happened, and uh...yeah."

He didn't know if Jack heard him well enough, but the older teen frowned, crossing his arms across his chest and giving Hiccup an eyebrow raise. Hiccup rolled his eyes. Jack's foot tapped the fake grass. Hiccup made eye contact. Jack held eye contact. It lasted about ten seconds before both boys sighed and looked away.

Jack scratched his neck before calling up, "Want to talk about it?"

Hiccup shook his head. "Nah, I was just annoyed. At the world. So, you know, not your fault."

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Well, alright…"

There was silence for a moment, before Jack suddenly sprang up and waved to catch Hiccup's fleeting attention. The teen had a huge smile on his face, blue eyes shining in renewed happiness.

"Happy Fifteenth Birthday!"

Hiccup's heart swelled at the notion that his best friend remembered his birthday, not quite caring how contradictory that was, seeing as Jack did this literally every year anyways.

"Thanks! You're, like, the only one who remembered this year."

Jack's eyes widened. "Wow, really?"

"Yup."

"Damn, that must suck."

"You've got no idea."

Jack winked and shot a cheeky smirk. "Good thing you have me to remember."

Hiccup rolled his eyes and refused to smirk. "Show off."

Jack laughed, though how he had heard him from all the way over there, Hiccup will never know. "So, why are you still locked up in your room like a try-hard Rapunzel?"

Hiccup stuck out his tongue. "Maybe I don't want to see your ugly face today, you know, save my eyesight for something more worthwhile."

Jack clutched at his heart and swayed in mock-horror. "Hiccup! What is this? Are you being mean?!"

"Shut up, frost-butt."

"Make me."

"I would, but I'd have to leave the house to do that, and I can't exactly step outside the front door right now."

Jack pulled off another spectacular raised eyebrow, and Hiccup squashed down the irrational jealousy he had about that. "You're on house arrest? Again?"

"Yes…?"

Jack sighed and sat down, stretching his bare toes while looking skyward and muttering to the clouds. Hiccup got a strange sense of deja vu, and realized he'd done the same thing on Jack's lawn plenty of times before, basically every time the other would get grounded. Wow. Life really is strange. Who'da thunk that Jack would be doing it to him?

"What did you do, Hiccup."

"Wow, your vote of confidence is so inspiring, like, woah, I think I need to go write a song now, or like, paint a Van Gogh Starry Night 2.0 or something–"

"Answer the question, Hiccup."

Hiccup huffed. He settled his chin in his palm and leaned against both his window frame and wall. "I...might have...sort of… messed with my Dad's phone?"

Jack gave a look that clearly meant 'elaborate.'

"And, uh… it was during a conference meeting…? One of those video call business stuffs."

Another 'elaborate' look.

"And I may have sent all his coworkers those photos from the beach trip last summer? Ya know, when he was walking around drunk and acting like a total buffoon?"

Jack's stoic mask cracked, just a bit.

"While playing that recording you made of him singing God Bless America after that helium trip-up?"

Jack snorted. "N-NO, you didn't–"

Hiccup snickered. "Yeah, I did! It was by accident though, really! I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I didn't have my contacts, and Dad had told them to wait while he went to set up his project board, and I was just looking for something when I tapped it and started smashing buttons everywhere–"

Jack laughed, arms going weak and making him fall to the ground. "NO! No you did NOT–"

"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" But Hiccup fell over the windowsill, laughing just as bad as his friend. "He couldn't get a promotion because of that!"

Jack cackled, rolling around on the grass. Hiccup collapsed onto his bedroom floor. The both lasted a few long moments chortling and snickering all over themselves, before Hiccup clambered onto his knees and peered out his window to see Jack just about done recollecting himself.

"S-So, I'm assuming he was upset about being embarrassed, and promptly grounded you for life?" Jack still had to talk his way around a few last guffaws.

Hiccup shakily breathed his laughter away, wiping a stray tear off his cheek. "Nah. I'm grounded because I brought in a stray kitten, who I'm calling Toothless simply because he has too many teeth. Dad found that out the hard way."

Jack looked confused about more than just a random stray cat called Toothless. He was silent for a moment, before calling, "Should I even ask?"

Hiccup gave him a crooked smile. "Probably not."

Jack sent him a thumbs up as his way of saying 'Roger that'. Hiccup huffed a tiny laugh, and Jack shot him a smile. And suddenly, that smile turned mischievous.

Uh oh.

"NO!"

Jack blinked. "Wait, I haven't even said any–"

"NO!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "I promise there won't be any mutant worms this time–"

"NO!"

"Oh come on, Hiccup! All you have to do is sneak out!"

"N-O, NO!"

"But Hiccup! It's your birthday, you don't deserve to be locked up for the whole–"

"Technically it's not because it's not the 29th–"

"Don't give me that–"

"I'm not allowed to step a single foot out the front door!"

Jack grinned, as if having waited for him to get there. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't step a foot out the BACK door."

Hiccup blinked. And blinked again. Oh. Oooh. The fifteen year old smirked.

"Yeah, that's it!" Jack's grin was positively demonic to anyone else other than Hiccup. "Now you're gettin' it!" He bowed to an imaginary audience. "Yes, yes, no worries. You don't have to thank me. It's all just a part of being an awesome boyfriend."

Hiccup laughed. "I wonder, should I give you a kiss as a thank you?"

Jack posed as if with swagger, looking up at him with their classmate's infamous 'smolder' look, which was positively revolting. "See now, that sounds great, but you can't let down your hair since your locks are NOT that long, so I don't know. Is it really worth the trip up those stairs of yours?"

Hiccup placed both arms on the window frame and leaned forwards with a wink. "Trust me, I'll make it worth it."

Jack's grin turned seductive. "Well, in that case, I'll–"

Mildew ran out his door from across the street, screaming "WOULDJ'A BOTH SHUT THE HELL UP!" The old man was bull raging mad, spittle flying everywhere and staff being swung madly as he charged across the street. Jack yelped and bolted towards Hiccup's back door. Hiccup cursed in Swedish so badly that his mother must've turned in her grave as he rushed to open his door. In seconds, Jack was inside his house, Mildew was pounding up a storm at his front door, and both boys were giggling like maniacs.