If there's one thing I just can't stand, it's that blondie brat who always made me goin' blistering. By the time I saw that idiot, I knew he was going to crack up my head.
I actually hate everything he does. I hate his art. In fact, I hate Deidara himself.
Well, his body is so skinny. Did his mom give him the right diet?! Tsss. He looks too weak for a shinobi! Hmph! Hey, fangirls out there! My body is sexier than his! I'm certainly sure that when you cuddle me, you girls will feel the smooth skin (errr… wood rather…).
That idiot! Look at his hairstyle. Blond and pony tailed, if you people think it's stunning, it isn't! Is that hairstyle the hottest craze today? If that is, IT'S CHEAP. And all those bangs that covers the eyes- what the hell! It just causes them to be pimplyheads! Gross! Honestly, his hair made my head turn in confusion. I did think he was a woman before.
Hmph! I never wanted a woman to be a partner of mine. Sorry, fangirls, but I have to tell everyone about my perspective about your sex. Ladies are so noisy and they keep on doing oodles of worthless things like putting those curls and creams, lipsticks and powders, and all those fluff! Naah! They're just like ugly dollies with their flow'ry kimonos, so they'd better knock it off!
Anyway, back to that idiot, I also hate his big, long mouth whenever he smiles. And speaking about mouths, one time, he tapped my shoulder, and I felt the tongue moving. It's gross!
Take your disgusting tongue and hand off me, stupid idiot!
I was so frustrated. And more disgusting part is, the tongue left some bubbling, slimy saliva. I told him to wash my cloak, so he did. Never will I hold nor touch that sticky stuff! It'll surely make me sick!
That time, I nearly giggled. His face looks like a poor, sad boy. He can't complain, for I will bully him more. Ha! It feels so great bullying someone. I swear.
We are both artists, he said. But for me, that idiot shouldn't be called an artist. In a matter of fact, there's nothing special about his 'art'. When we went to Sunagakure to capture the jinchuuriki of the Ichibi, he made loud noises that awakened the people. He can never combat without those boisterous bangs! Trash! He calls those trash 'art'?! Tsss. Sometimes, throwing all of his clay comes into my mind. Let's see what leader-sama would do to that idiot.
He respects me as a 'fellow' artist. Fellow? Hmph! I'm the only artist in Akatsuki. No one else. And he also respects my point of view in art. I guess he should be. His little squishy birdlings are nothing compared to my great works of art- puppets. And I'm telling you, I will never ever bring him back the respect he had given me!
One more thing. I absolutely hate his "Un" every time he speaks. Isn't it so annoying? It sucks. If you were in my place, hearing him say, un, un, un, un, un, everyday, you will surely be a bursting red tomato.
Believe me or not, you can never spend a whole day with that FFB (Freakin' Fuckin' Bitch)! It is impossible for us to be BFF, so I made it FFB.
Speaking about mouths again, his mouth is probably the noisiest of all, excluding Tobi. But when Tobi's there, with idiot, OMG! Both of them are suckers! They suck! I can't stand FFBs like them!! And when they argued one time, oh, god! My ears were just right in front of their saliva-sprinkling mouths because that time, I was sitting between both of them in a dusty old couch. Dammit!!
(A/N: Sasori, take it easy, man. Calm down. Um, can you guys excuse us for a while? I'm gonna get his blood pressure. Hold on for a sec.)
Ok. I'm back.
Sorry to all Deidara fans, but I will be honest with you. Sometimes, I feel like punching the idiot's face while sound asleep. I wanna punch him until his nose is bleeding, his skin is pale, and his face is filled with lumps, bruises, and black eyes. Haa… I would love to see him cry in pain.
That idiot once told me that he is happy when I'm by his side. I wasn't touched, certainly. Not a bit. I was rather annoyed. HHHEEELLLLLOOOOO?! Doesn't he notice my frowning looks at him?! Even when I hear his voice, I feel ill right away!
One day, I dripped a few drops of poison in his tea. I was that desperate to knock him off my life and my world. Expecting that he would go meet his maker, I prepared chamomiles, poppies, and a stone with the word R.I.P. marked at the center. But he didn't die! That foolish Tobi came running and hopping like a little boy! He was insane! And you know what? He drank the idiot's tea! I was so irritated, of course. Very irritated.
Hmph! Poor little Tobi died, instead. Not bad at all. One noisy bitch, down. Tobi is a very, very good boy!
Still, there was one more idiot left, always following me wherever I go. He was like my shadow everytime. Hmph!
One time, he was he was bathing in a spring. I accidentally saw him. (ehem… I'm not a maniac, green people!) His hair is kinda beautiful since he removed the red thing that holds it. He was so skinny, and OH MY GOD. He had a big 'd' down there!
By that time, I think I'm feeling something for him. But the thing is, I don't want this feeling! So, I still continued bullying and hating that idiot.
I never knew he liked me too. He told me about that one day. I love you, Sasori-danna. Un. he said. With the "Un" again. I didn't respond. Well, I think it made him a bit disappointed. But I was wrong. It made him very disappointed.
I never knew he was that sensitive when it comes to love stuff like that. Hmph! He was like a girl- so sentimental. It turned me off.
He was hurt, so he grabbed the bottle of poison I was holding. He drank the poison, and died, of course. He's such a stupid, reckless, brainless, foolish, idiotic guy! He's an FFB! Stupid.
Now, I wonder where he is. In heaven or hell? I have no idea. That brat gave me oodles of problems, made my head boil, my nerves crack, but… also made my heart beat once.
I guess, I love you, stupid damn idiot.
A/N: Hope you liked my fic. I was an "extra" there, who got Sasori's BP. Wish I could do that for real…
I'm not a Deidara hater, Dei fans. In fact, I'm also a big fan of his. I was just trying to visualize Sasori's situation so I used those "dreadful" words.
Anyway, please review. But no flames, okay? Thanks