People are Troublesome
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
"Do you think she ever gave him a blowjob?" Kiba's statement was met with glares. "What? I think that's a perfectly reasonable question."
"I seriously worry about your future." Sakura had long given up on beating Kiba. He made so many comments she decided he was too far gone to change so she just stuck to occasionally lecturing him.
"I'm sorry but this sucks! It's boring old language with two over dramatic pricks who kill themselves at the end!"
"It's Shakespeare and it's compulsory so get over it." Sasuke was matter of fact as always. "Now be quiet a second, we need to pass this."
"But they were only teenagers! They were like 13, and they killed themselves, that's pretty melodramatic." It was a surprisingly long word for him and all three of them were temporarily taken aback.
"Not that I don't agree with you but you need to stop bitching." Shikamaru already had his usual English headache starting up. All the shrieking annoying girls in the corner always set him off.
"Ah you guys are boring. I wish Shino wasn't ill. Or Naruto was here."
"I'm surprised you're not in the lower group with Naruto." Sakura said what the rest of them were thinking.
"It's not my fault I'm scarily good at exams. I tried to bunk off before but mum nearly killed me when she saw my grades."
"I can understand that…" Shikamaru's mother would never let him slack off since the school had decided to test him and found that he was technically a genius. They'd tricked him and told him that they were just stupid games and as they got him out of lessons he did them. It was the worst thing he could've done apparently.
"So… What exactly is this assignment anyway?" There was a collective sigh around the table. They'd been expecting it but it still annoyed just as much as always.
"'A group presentation on the symbolism in Romeo and Juliet'. The exact words on the piece of paper in front of you. Seriously, we'll do most of the work, all you have to do is pay enough attention so you can do the actual presentation." He stared at Shikamaru in horror.
"When did we decide this?"
"You stupid-. Five minutes ago! You agreed to it!" Kiba pondered this a minute.
"Oh yeah." All of them had to hold back from throttling him and there was much relief when the bell rang for lunch.
Shikamaru was pleased he could have an hour of sleep before maths in last period with irritating Yamato. He wasn't a bad teacher but he always made a special effort to give Shikamaru more work so he wasn't 'bored'.
"Shika!" Choji had been waiting for him at the end of the hallway as he usually did. "What have you got for lunch?"
"Just take it all. I had something from the shop at break."
"Really? Thanks man! I just need to finish my curry first." Choji had such a massive appetite it was kind of amazing. Shikamaru had always been dumping his healthy lunches on his friend in favour of store bought crap since he'd known him.
"So where are the others?"
"They headed to the usual place." He had already started on the rice.
"As long as they left my usual spot free, I'm good."
Their little group of friends had congregated on the same patch of grass in the corner of the playground since they'd first started at the school. Most of the things that happened in their group happened there. Highlights included hoodie wrestling, Naruto the bin dalek, and Shino and Kiba's surprise kiss (with help from Sakura and Ino). Shikamaru usually slept by the fence and was just getting comfortable when he was interrupted by Sasuke, the asshole.
"Shika, did we need that textbook? The green one?" This was enough to ruin his peaceful mood.
"…I think we do. Damn."
"Did you forget it? Because someone," he scowled at Naruto who grinned sheepishly, "has lost mine and I know he'll be pissed if both of us don't have one."
"No it's worse than that. I left it in my locker."
"Ohh… Well good luck with that." They all looked sympathetic but no one offered to go with him.
Troublesome maths. He got up and marched unusually quickly for him across the playground. He preferred to do it quickly if he had to. The problem wasn't really that locker. It was perfectly fine with that. It was just the location. Their school had an irritating habit of switching them round every couple of years and that was all well and good but this year it had screwed him over.
Before he'd been near friends or at least amiable people. All the other people in the lockers near him had managed to persuade other people to share or to simply carry everything with them at all times. He'd tried both but as his friends had no space and as he nearly gave himself a back injury carrying everything, he had to just put up with it. It was just bad luck that the locker next to his belonged to the school psycho Hidan.
From the first day of school the boy had been difficult. He refused to talk to anyone who tried with him, swore at the teachers, picked fights with people, never did any work and was simply terrifying as hell. Considering that he never had any books, he used his locker fairly often and so it was hard for Shikamaru to time his visits to avoid Hidan. He'd seen the guy upend a bin over Kabuto's head for walking too close and so it was a matter of life and death.
As always he made a quick check from a distance before speed walking over and pulling out what he needed. He never quite ran but he got close if he thought he heard someone coming. It was with much relief that he got back to the usual spot unscathed.
"So you didn't set off Mt. Hidan then?" Choji had finished his own lunch and started on his whilst he'd been gone.
"Luckily." At least he was unlikely to be beaten up today.
-Page Break-
Shikamaru glared at the papers in front of him. He would've been quite content to only do one or two sheets like the rest of the class but Yamato had decided that this wasn't good enough and had given him four. Cursing his brain, he got to work in the hope that he could finish it fast enough to have a sleep on the desk for part of the lesson.
As he was finishing the third sheet he noticed the teacher looking his way and cursed internally. He was definitely going to give him more work. However he did have a stroke of luck. Just as Yamato started heading over Hidan slammed the door open and went and sat in his corner, no bags or books.
The chatter in the room lagged slightly and Sasuke who was sitting next to him rolled his eyes. At least this meant the rest of them would get away with doing next to nothing this lesson. Everybody watched Yamato steeling himself for the confrontation. Unlike most other teachers who just let Hidan be, Yamato was still young enough to feel that he was letting him down as his teacher if he didn't at least try to get him to do work. Although he was talking in normal tones most of the room could hear.
"You're a little late again Hidan."
"No shit Sherlock." A few people sniggered.
"Right… well it's not a problem but you might have to work a little harder to catch up." He put the sheets on the table in front of them and Hidan stared at them. He continued to stare whilst Yamato went back to his desk. Instead of staring at Shikamaru he was now focused on Hidan, meaning he could lean forward and nap a little. He wasn't overly interested in watching as long as he wasn't bothered. After he'd been there for five minutes and still done no work, Yamato decided to intervene.
"Err… Hidan?"
"Ohh, he hesitated." Sasuke did like to make a running commentary.
"That will be lethal." Shikamaru sometimes joined in.
"What?" He was in a bad mood too. This was going to be particularly interesting.
"Do you need any help?"
"With what?" This took Yamato aback a little.
"Your work."
"What work?"
"The one on your-." Hidan picked up the sheets, neatly ripped them up and dropped the shreddings onto the desk. He then looked Yamato in the eye as if daring him to say something. "You really shouldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"It's a waste of paper…" It was a weak argument and he knew it.
"You shouldn't have printed me one then. Fucking retard."
"…Excuse me a second." Yamato left the room. He did this often when troubles arose. The rest of the class did pity him but there wasn't much to do.
Not long after, their chemistry teacher Kakashi appeared. He glanced at Hidan who stared levelly back at him and sighed.
"Alright guys, you can finish early." It seemed he couldn't be bothered with setting them more work. No one was going to complain about this and the classroom emptied pretty quickly.
"I wish we had more like these."
"I think Yamato is the only one who'll we get it from." Shikamaru knew that most other teachers would just force them to do more work.
"I like it when he does that but he's still a bit of a prick."
"Indeed." He didn't like Yamato that much but even he didn't deserve it. "At least it feels like a fair fight when he starts on Kakashi or Sasori."
"I think it's about even with Sasori." Kakashi never cared but the art teacher had a tendency to throw things at students who annoyed him and so rows with him were always spectacular. "I'm surprised they haven't thrown him out yet."
"I guess there's some kind of extenuating circumstances." If he had some kind of problem then it wouldn't be surprising that the school let him have a bit of slack.
"Maybe they're just terrified of throwing him out."
"Also likely."
Sasuke lived in the opposite direction to Shikamaru and so they separated at the gates. He could've waited around for Choji but he had stuff to do. Besides, Choji was probably going to do something with Ino as usual. Shikamaru had no patience with this kind of thing. He'd tried dating Gaara's sister but she'd wanted to do things every day and got pissy with him for not spending all his time with her. He'd gotten sick of it after a while and had sworn off relationships until at least his twenties when he hoped people would have gotten over themselves.
Their town was small and spread out and he had to walk across fields to get to his house. For some reason only known to them, his father had decided he wanted to live as far away from people as possible. This wasn't a problem as such but it did make it annoying to get to his house after school.
The house was deserted when he returned and so he happily raided the cupboards of all the good stuff before his dad could steal it and stashed it in his room. The day he got one of those mini safes was a wonderful one indeed. Especially when his dad tried to pry it open in the middle of the night and started swearing when the alarm went off.
"Shika? Get down here quick, I need your help." He had barely had five minutes alone before his dad had appeared.
"What do you want?" He didn't feel like moving for nothing.
"Just hurry up! Your mother will be here soon." He sighed and walked down the stairs to where his dad was hovering in the doorway on the lookout.
"This better not be anything stupid."
"I need to use your safe."
"…Because?"
"I don't want your mother seeing this." He handed Shikamaru a package.
"This better not be anything weird. Or illegal."
"What kind of opinion do you have of me?" There was the sound of a car in the driveway. "Shit! Just hide it!"
"But-."
"Now!" Shikamaru did as he was asked although he felt like he was being abused here.
He couldn't even bring himself to look inside and just threw it in the box. He didn't want to know what he was being involved in. Within seconds of this he had a text from Kiba asking him if under the bed was a good place to hide porn.
…I don't know anyone normal.
This is a random fic I've been wanting to try out for a while so any feedback would be great. Hope you enjoyed reading it :3