TITLE: Crushes & Cupcakes
AUTHOR: Valerina
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Loved it, hated it, let me know. Valerina719@hotmail.com
CLASSIFICATION: Vaughn POV, angst, V
SUMMARY: Vaughn ponders Eric's comments during "Rendezvous."
SPOILERS: Mid-Ep for "Rendezvous"
DISCLAIMER: JJ, sweet JJ...I'm sad to say that "Alias" is not mine. If I had to say whose it was I would go with JJ Abrams, "Bad Robot," and ABC. But that's just a guess :)
DISTRIBUTION: Credit Dauphine, Alias Fan Fiction Archive. Anyone else, please feel free but let me know so I can come visit it!
RATED: R (for my darn potty mouth)
Crushes & Cupcakes
A crush. He's gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
That's right, Eric, don't "trivialize" it with that fucking word.
Crushes are for grade-schoolers and kisses behind the playground. Crushes are giving the cupcake Mom put in your lunch to Suzy Hostetler because she had cute pigtails. Crushes are not smashing your gun into the back of her partner's neck because you're scared, so scared, that she's going to die. That's not a cupcake, is it Eric?
I care, he cares, we all care about Sydney Bristow. But we all weren't in Denpasar, were we? Nope, it was just me, sweating it out, holding my breath until the whole goddamn mission was over with and she was back on a plane to the States.
Sure, his voice screamed in my ear but I didn't hear it. All I heard were her gasps and grunts as she fought for her life. I slammed that smug asshole Sark's head into that wooden gate because all I could think about was getting to Sydney, helping Sydney, saving Sydney.
And I did it. I fucking did it. The euphoria from knowing that she's alive because of me isn't going to fade until the next time she's in mortal danger and I can't help her.
You want to save your ass, Eric? Well I can't blame you. I'm already fucked; I'm in this way too deep already. Personal? You've got no fuckin' clue.
Maybe I'm just playing out some screwed up James Bond fantasy, but this girl is it; being with her makes me feel like I'm alive, like I'm doing what I should be doing. It makes me understand why my mom freaked when I joined the Agency, just like my dad.
As much as it's a no-no, as much trouble as your ass is in right now—believe me when I say that mine is in a hell of a lot more. For this girl I would break every rule, every law that we live by. Hell, I already have.
I don't know how to do this without loving her, Eric. You say I have to but I don't know how. You say I better figure it out and I suppose I will.
I'm going to go meet her now and tell her in so many ways that I don't care. I'm going to have to see that look in her eyes when she feels like she's lost the one person she can be true with.
I'll do it for you, Eric, and I'll do it for now. We both know it won't last long, that the next time she asks me to help her I'll go to the ends of the earth, but I'll make the effort.
I just hope I can get out of there quickly before she realizes how bad I am at pretending. If she looked into my eyes long enough she'd realize that I wanted to give her everything she couldn't have.
Hell, I'd even give her Mom's last cupcake.
end.
AUTHOR: Valerina
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Loved it, hated it, let me know. Valerina719@hotmail.com
CLASSIFICATION: Vaughn POV, angst, V
SUMMARY: Vaughn ponders Eric's comments during "Rendezvous."
SPOILERS: Mid-Ep for "Rendezvous"
DISCLAIMER: JJ, sweet JJ...I'm sad to say that "Alias" is not mine. If I had to say whose it was I would go with JJ Abrams, "Bad Robot," and ABC. But that's just a guess :)
DISTRIBUTION: Credit Dauphine, Alias Fan Fiction Archive. Anyone else, please feel free but let me know so I can come visit it!
RATED: R (for my darn potty mouth)
Crushes & Cupcakes
A crush. He's gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
That's right, Eric, don't "trivialize" it with that fucking word.
Crushes are for grade-schoolers and kisses behind the playground. Crushes are giving the cupcake Mom put in your lunch to Suzy Hostetler because she had cute pigtails. Crushes are not smashing your gun into the back of her partner's neck because you're scared, so scared, that she's going to die. That's not a cupcake, is it Eric?
I care, he cares, we all care about Sydney Bristow. But we all weren't in Denpasar, were we? Nope, it was just me, sweating it out, holding my breath until the whole goddamn mission was over with and she was back on a plane to the States.
Sure, his voice screamed in my ear but I didn't hear it. All I heard were her gasps and grunts as she fought for her life. I slammed that smug asshole Sark's head into that wooden gate because all I could think about was getting to Sydney, helping Sydney, saving Sydney.
And I did it. I fucking did it. The euphoria from knowing that she's alive because of me isn't going to fade until the next time she's in mortal danger and I can't help her.
You want to save your ass, Eric? Well I can't blame you. I'm already fucked; I'm in this way too deep already. Personal? You've got no fuckin' clue.
Maybe I'm just playing out some screwed up James Bond fantasy, but this girl is it; being with her makes me feel like I'm alive, like I'm doing what I should be doing. It makes me understand why my mom freaked when I joined the Agency, just like my dad.
As much as it's a no-no, as much trouble as your ass is in right now—believe me when I say that mine is in a hell of a lot more. For this girl I would break every rule, every law that we live by. Hell, I already have.
I don't know how to do this without loving her, Eric. You say I have to but I don't know how. You say I better figure it out and I suppose I will.
I'm going to go meet her now and tell her in so many ways that I don't care. I'm going to have to see that look in her eyes when she feels like she's lost the one person she can be true with.
I'll do it for you, Eric, and I'll do it for now. We both know it won't last long, that the next time she asks me to help her I'll go to the ends of the earth, but I'll make the effort.
I just hope I can get out of there quickly before she realizes how bad I am at pretending. If she looked into my eyes long enough she'd realize that I wanted to give her everything she couldn't have.
Hell, I'd even give her Mom's last cupcake.
end.