Disclaimer: Okay so let me start off by saying what...this is a weird pairing but stick with me and just let me explain..
So I was looking threw the fallingskies tag looking for new fics to inspire me and I noticed that no one (that iv seen) has done a pope and Ben fic and it was sort of strange to me..so the more I thought about it the more I convinced myself to give it a shot. GRANTED I know this pairing is not going to be for everyone, even to me, half way threw writing this I was like gahh nope but in the end I said fuck it and continued. And this is the result.
If you have any hate please feel free to keep it to yourself.
So if you don't already know I am a BIG BIG Ben/Jimmy shipper like Queen of that ship, have so many fics about them (and many more to come) but I wanted to experiment a little with Ben and some other characters; pope just sort of fit the bill.
This is a AU and pope is Sooo OOC (out of character) it's unreal and Ben maybe a smige, but oh to hell with it:/
This is a BoyXGuy pairing so if you don't like don't read.
I don't own falling skies or any of the characters.
(Side note ben has not been harnessed and is still his normal geeky asthmatic self.)
So with all that said I hope you guys like it and review it means a lot, and yeah enjoy.
Xoxox
They meet in a makeshift camp, 300 or so people camped out in an old supermarket, trying to cling on to some sort of normalcy. Before, John might've romanticised it, called it fate. But now fate seems like a pretty shitty explanation for anything
The other guy or boy is infuriatingly cheerful, considering it's the end of all things. Maybe he's high, John thinks absently, not really caring. When the world's being invaded.
"Have you heard? Scott got it on the radio, the army have finally figured out why they are attacking us!" The kid seems genuinely excited, and John just raises an eyebrow. "If they know why they did it, then they're one step closer to stopping the war!" the boy clarifies, clearly assuming Johns an idiot or something.
"We caused this. I could've told you that three months ago. They won't fix it."
"What're you talking about? They're gonna fix this, they have to. This doesn't have to end in any more bloodshed."
God, this kid just doesn't give up.
"Look kid. This isn't some action movie, where in the end some guy saves the planet from ruin, gets the girl, and then conveniently forgets about us collateral. The planets fucked, and there's no going back. Live with it. Or don't, it's not like it matters anymore."
The kid reels back, like he's been physically slapped, green eyes wide and angry.
"I'm not a kid. I'm 17, asshole, and having a little hope doesn't make me a dumb child."
"If you think there's any way back from this, you're a kid to me. What you have isn't hope, it's a delusion." John scoffs. Another time, he might've outright laughed in the boys face, but he hasn't laughed since the day the fires came and the sky fell. He's not starting now.
"What happened to you to make you so defeatist then?" he gets as a reply, defiant anger sparking hot and bright in green eyes, body language hostile but proud.
"The world was invaded. Weren't you there?" John mocks, then turns around and walks away before the boy can get another disgustingly optimistic word in.
He ignores the yell of "asshole!" that follows him.
John isn't avoiding the kid. He isn't.
So maybe he's developed a habit of hiding around corners whenever he catches a glimpse of green eyes, surrounded by black rimmed glasses and messy blond hair in his peripheral vision.
That doesn't mean he's avoiding anyone.
John doesn't avoid anyone, he avoids everyone.
Except that he doesn't really.
Okay, so maybe he's been avoiding the kid. He can't deal with that much optimism in one space, it's sickening.
In his head, he hears the ghost of Sarah mocking him. 'Too much optimism, really John, that's what you're going with?'
He'd tell Sarah-in-his-head to shut up, but he hasn't heard her voice in too long, he couldn't handle losing her from his head as well as from reality. Yes, he's aware he's delusional. It's how he copes. Well, he doesn't cope, but he's trying, alright.
But anyway. He's been doing that thing. With the avoiding. Because delusional idiots are a thing he hates. Of course. Never mind that he's a delusional idiot too, at least he's a realistic delusional idiot.
What he's not expecting, is to turn around at the sound of a throat being cleared right behind him to see the kid standing there. Seriously, how did he manage to sneak up on him? And what's he holding? Is that…
"Soup?" the blond asks, holding the bowl out to John boldly, like John hadn't insulted everything he believed in the first and only time they met. "I'm Ben by the way." He adds, and John makes a face.
John just stares at him. When he doesn't say anything, Ben moves like he's going to walk off, pulling the soup back towards him, and that's just not acceptable. The boy may be a pain in the ass, but that soup smells like heaven.
"Call me pope." He offers, reaching out to take the bowl before it's completely out of reach. "I'd ask if this was poisoned, but at this point, I'm not entirely sure I'd mind."
"Wow, you really are depressingly pessimistic, aren't you?"
"It's the invasion, I'm allowed some healthy realism"
"You're clearly no believer in the whole 'there is always hope' thing."
"Hope is for children and fools."
"And we've reached the same point again. Great talk Pope, let's do it again sometime." Ben says, turning around and walking away, echoing the way Pope walked off the first time they met. Pope watches him go, and it's weird. Definitely weird. What is with this kid? Ben is the kind of person he would normally avoid like death itself.
'Lighten up baby!' Sarah in-his-head instructs, and he scowls at her words.
The thing with living in a small group is that there is absolutely no way to hide from people. Everyone knows everyone, and everyone knows him as the Loner guy. He's notorious in the camp; he's the defeatist asshole who hangs around in dark corners far too much. At least people leave him alone.
Sometimes though, he thinks he doesn't like being alone all the time. It's his own fault- he's the one who deliberately scared everyone off. But he's still human, and he still gets lonely, okay.
Maybe that's why; when Ben next comes up to him, he doesn't even bother offering any kind of complaint. He doesn't tell him he wants to be alone, because that would be an obvious lie, even to Ben who barely knows him.
They sit next to each other on the dusty floor in Popes aisle. He'd claimed what clearly used to be the seasonal aisle when the group of people he's tagged along after had decided to set up a camp here. People left him alone- there was nothing in the aisle of any use left after he'd thrown all the sleeping bags out to the group, so no one came to gather supplies.
"Is it weird that this feels normal now?" Ben asks out of the blue, after they've sat in (somehow companionable? Pope will analyse that one later) silence for a while. "I mean, I miss civilisation and all, but it feels like someone else's life y'know, like I've changed too much."
"An alien apocalypse would do that to a person. change them."
"You are such a snarky asshole. I'm honestly not sure if it pisses me off, or makes me want to hug you, you cynical bastard."
"I'm not entirely sure how to respond to that"
"Just ignore me, I say stuff a lot. Most of it makes no sense. Most of the guys here are used to it by now."
It's silent for a few minutes, just the sound of talking from somewhere else in the building echoing, far enough away that Pope can't make out words.
"I don't think I'd be able to go back. Ben admits quietly, when the silence between them is just starting to get stifling.
"Why are you telling me this?" Pope can't help but ask. Ben just chuckles.
"Because you're not gonna judge me for being pessimistic once in a while. I like having hope, but sometimes you've gotta indulge in a bit of self-pity y'know? Not as much as you do though, there's this thing called balance. You should give it a go."
"I don't get you."
"Good."
Ben hangs round for a little longer, and pope finds himself enjoying the kids company. He pulls a battered set of card out from somewhere, and deals them out, and they sit in comfortable silence, broken every now and then by a competitive bickering as they play rummy on the aisle floor.
The worst thing about living in essentially a refugee camp is that the food is always the same. Soup or bland pasta.
Okay, so obviously that's not the worst thing. Their whole situation is utterly shit. But the food is still the thing that annoys him most at least. He's 38, but he feels like he's back in high school, being served the same food as everyone else. He misses having control.
He's not going to analyse why he felt kinda warm inside when Ben brought him soup. It was clearly just because he didn't have to head to the main area and collect it like a goddamned high-schooler.
'Are you actually this dumb, or do you just hate being happy?' Sarah-in-his-head asks, and he ignores her.
He's in the main area, fetching his daily allowance of plain bland pasta (because they have to conserve the food they have, Pope knows this, he can still complain about it alright), when he sees Ben sitting at a table with a older gentleman and girl from camp that he's never spoken to before. Ben hasn't seen him, and he finds himself staring at the way Bens hands move as he talks. He's still for moments at a time then jut like that, bright and alive and so out of place.
He's been staring for what is definitely longer than any sane person would deem socially acceptable, when Ben looks up, and locks gazes with him. And then grins, like he's actually happy to see Pope. Which is a completely ridiculous idea. What?
"Pope!" Ben yells over at him, then waves like he wants Pope to come over there, and- what? Okay, so there might be a genuine possibility that Ben actually is happy to see Him. Which is obviously a stupid life choice for anyone to make, but Pope can't talk about stupid life choices.
And speaking of life choices- apparently he's heading over there to talk to Ben, because he definitely didn't consciously make the decision to move, but he's already halfway across the eating area.
"Hey! I was starting to think you never actually left your aisle! This is Scott, but everyone calls him uncle Scott the one with the radios." Ben gestures at the older man next to him, all gentle smiles and grey hair. "And this is Lourdes."
Lourdes smiles sweetly at him. "Hi, nice to meet you, you must be Pope right?"
He grunts out a "yeah" and then stands there awkwardly, because what the hell is he doing here?
"Sit down already" Ben sighs. "Pretend to hate the world all you like, but you totally like being around people dude, otherwise you would've punched me already."
Ben is sort of scarily perceptive. Pope sits down, because he's completely right. If Ben really bothered him, he'd probably have punched him the first time they met.
'You totally like him, don't you! Oh my god, someone pierced the John pope tough guy exterior, call the press.'
Maybe he killed someone in a past life. A hell of a lot of someones. Maybe he was an evil dictator. There's no other explanation for why else he'd be suffering through the invasion whilst being teased by his dead X inside his own head about his emotions.
"You look tired man." Ben says quietly, and he looks up. Scott and Lourdes have gone, and he frowns at the spaces where they were. He's not entirely sure he didn't make them up; it's not like he's the epitome of mentally secure and sane. Ben notices, and explains "They went off to stretch their legs I think. Anyway. You, tired, why?"
Pope actually laughs. A short bark of a laugh sure, but it's something. "It's the invasion, and you're asking why I look tired?"
"You really are stuck on that whole invasion thing. You can't just give up on the world and then say 'it's the invasion' every time anyone calls you out on something. Just talk to me. I'll totally listen; I'd be an awesome therapist."
"Your patients wouldn't get a word in edgewise."
"Shut up, I'm a great listener. And you're avoiding."
"I haven't been sleeping. There. Answered your dumb question."
Ben looks at him, gaze scarily assessing, and he maybe wants to run, and hide in his aisle. About a minute passes, before Ben lets the moment fly away, grinning wildly and pulling out the cards again.
"Wanna head back to your aisle?"
So they play cards. They play cards a lot, there's not much else to do apparently. Eventually, they get bored, and Ben starts bringing other things he finds in random aisles. A chess set which is banned after one game, because pope is terrible at chess and Ben is apparently some kind of chess master, and according to Ben the growling and death threats just aren't worth it. A small ball that they throw between them, talking whilst absently playing catch. A quiz book on Canadian culture (which- just why?).
One day, Ben brings a battered copy of 'the sight' and pope raises an eyebrow at him sceptically.
"Shut up, it may be a kid's book but its good man. Just give it a chance, you'll like it" Ben paused before continuing "Me and my dad use to read together all the time."
Ben sits down a little closer to pope than he ever has before, and opens the book to the first page. He clears his throat, and begins "In the beginning was a castle high on a craggy precipice…" Bens voice is calm, and familiar, as he weaves the threads of the story, of wolf packs and legends.
It could be minutes, or hours later, that Popes eyes flutter open. He doesn't remember closing them, doesn't remember when he stopped listening to the story and simply let himself listen to Bens voice, but it must've happened, because Ben is leaning back against the aisle shelf, one hand curled around the book, and the other resting on popes leg, and his eyes are closed.
They must've moved closer at some point, because Ben is pressed up against popes side, and the warmth is comforting but terrifying. It hits him suddenly, that he's gotten fond of Ben, actually likes the kid, and it feels like drowning. He can't handle losing another person close to him, not after the invasion took everything and everyone he had, but he's let Ben in without even realising it, and it's so dangerous. He gently lifts Bens hand off his leg, and stands.
He walks to the doors, ignoring the warning sign that someone had rather pointlessly stuck up. Everyone already knows what the outside is like. He opens the door anyway, and slips outside.
Its night-time, or he thinks it is. He could be wrong; the whole world is so dark all the time. This feels like night darkness though, rather than oppressive darkness. It's even worse than he remembers, ash and dust and the dead husks of trees.
He stands there for too long, just staring out, lost in the dark. It feels like hours pass, before he feels a hand on his shoulder. "Come inside." Ben says, and he obeys. He couldn't say no if he wanted to, not to Ben, not anymore.
They walk back inside, and Ben pulls him down to the floor of the aisle again, rests his head on popes shoulder. "Stop thinking asshole. Go to sleep." It's warm, and fond, and fuzzy, and Ben reminds him so fiercely of Sarah in that one moment that he almost wants to cry. He doesn't, instead he leans into Bens warmth, accepts the comfort as it's given, and lets himself sleep for a little while longer.
Eventually Ben just moves all his stuff into popes aisle. It's too much, and not enough, at the same time, and pope finds himself staring at Ben again, like he used to when they first knew each other, trying to figure him out.
"I still don't get you." He blurts one day, as Ben combs hands through popes long hair where it rests on Bens shoulder. Ben just looks down at him, fond and warm and- oh. Huh.
"Yeah you do." Ben says, and pats Pope on the head before carrying on reading.
xxxxxx
So Pope might be a little bit in love with Ben.
This is... well, Pope would say it's an unexpected development but, if he thinks about it, it's really not. Pushing aside the fact that Ben is still a minor, which in retrospect should bother pope to no end. But in truth it really doesn't. Ben is warm, and safe, and apparently everything pope has ever wanted, and it's terrifying but exhilarating.
Nothing changes with popes realisation of this. They still spend all their time together. They still talk, and play games, and read, and confess horribly personal things to each other. But now, every time Pope offers something horribly personal up, he doesn't need to spend hours obsessing over 'why the hell did he say that, what the fuck' because he already knows why.
He doesn't tell Ben though. Doesn't want to change this, to risk what they have already, because pope needs it so much. He's addicted, can barely remember shouldering the weight alone. Some might tell him to seize the moment, but pope never was one for just going for things. Sarah-in-his-head calls him an idiot, but it's fond, and he thinks maybe she gets it.
There's been silence from the radio for months. They still try it daily, flick through all the frequencies in the hope that maybe one of them will tell them something, anything. But it's silent, and the mood in the camp is defeated.
So the radio is silent, and they are alone. Ben still refuses to give up hope though, no matter how many times pope, and other camp members tell him he should. Pope remembers a time when he was the only pessimist in their camp. Now, it feels like Ben is the only optimist.
It's a well-worn argument between them, popes given up trying to tell Ben it's hopeless, because if he feels better with hope, then why not let him hope.
Ben brings the radio back to their aisle one day, and it's their aisle now, not popes. They maybe missed a few steps in normal relationship progression, but the world's already gone to shit. No one cares if they live together already, despite the fact they're still dancing around whatever this thing is between them.
He puts the radio on a shelf, and Pope looks at him for a moment, but he gets it. Everyone else may have given up, but Ben clearly refuses to. It's admirable. Delusional, but admirable.
They're nearly out of food, and mutiny is running through the camp. It feels like this little fragile world they've built for themselves could collapse at any moment. He used to keep count of how long since the invasion, but he gave up weeks ago.
The radio is silent.
Until it's not.
It's been half a year since he started living here, and in one second it all comes crashing down in the best way.
"Go outside. Look up. We can heal now" are the words issuing from the radio, and pope would mock the stupid young-adult romance novel phrasing of the whole thing, but he's too busy being dragged to the doors by Ben, and when he pushes them open, drags pope out with him, it's blinding.
The sky is clear, for the first time in months, the sun is above them, and Ben is laughing. The rest of the camp starts to follow them outside, and suddenly it's loud and people are yelling and screaming, and celebrating, and there's sky above his head for the first time in what feels like too many lifetimes, but he can't look at it, can't take his eyes off Bens face in the sun, how he looks as he laughs.
'It's over pope. Time to move on.' He hears Sarah whisper, and then he knows in that instant that she's gone, that he won't hear her anymore, but it doesn't feel like losing anything like he thought It would. It feels like something new, like the first day of spring after the longest hardest winter.
"I told you so!" Ben shouts, voice infectiously happy and he's grinning right at pope, and he's so fucking beautiful that pope doesn't even think before grabbing him, and just kissing him like he's wanted to for months.
There's a sigh against his mouth when he pulls back, a muttered "finally" from Ben, an then he's being hauled back in, pressed up against Ben and kissing him like the worlds ending because it's not, the world's not ending anymore, and he's alive, they're both alive.
He knows the future will be hard, and terrifying. The world isn't going to suddenly go back to how it was before. But in this moment, he doesn't care, doesn't need anything more than what he has. He has Ben, and the sun, and he has hope.
What else could he need?
xxxxxxx
Okay...so yup that happened. We all saw it, read it.
If you got this far then you obviously enjoyed it? (She said hopefully) if so review let me know.
I kind of just get this vibe from the two of them.
Like whenever pope insults ben it's purely because he is secretly too interested in the middle mason.
Am I Delusional? Probably.
Will I write another PopexBen soon? Ofc.
Thanks for reading, bye!