What is there to hold on to when the black void closes in? What is left in the darkness when you are there all by yourself? When your at the end of the rope there is only one string holding you to the earth. Do you jump? Or do you hang to see how long this last thread of hope will last and support you.
This is the opening MacKay had to his book he was giving up this life was not what he wanted at all he hated how he lusted after this one person. This one unobtainable person. He had searched high and low for something to distract him but he knew that the Void was calling. The Void that he had seen once before, where he promised himself that he would never go again. But he always knew life would be a struggle to help himself.
But really what the use when people don't see you for who you are and only see a neurotic and crazy man. MacKay wasn't like that he was loving and kind he wanted to show that but in this big city it wasn't going to happen. So as he sat there thinking all this he silently contemplated the void and whether or not to let it overtake his brain and make him a mush ball so his emotions would be buried beneath the mush ball that was him. Or use his remaining energy he had and fight. Fight to keep himself present and in the light. The light wich was unwanted but gave him hope to reach the rope again.
He didn't know what to do what he wanted to do he was thinking so hard and was so distant that he had missed the original radio call telling him to be somewhere. As he should have a man of his considerable genius should be wanted. Minutes passed 3 more calls when unanswered. As his mind was nearing a conclusion a hand touched him. Can you believe it some lowlife person touched him. The touch was so unwanted and unexpected if it where possible MacKay would have jumped right out of his skin right there and then. But its not and he didn't.
It was Sheppard a concerned look on his face as if he where concerned by the look that he had gotten when MacKay started. But as MacKay looked he sore more then that he saw eyes searching for something.
That spark of life when they didn't find it they darkened and Sheppard said in a low whispered tone. "We need you in the gate room, The crazy you requested arrived". Then without so much as another word he turned around and walked out. MacKay rose from his chair expecting to continue this thought later. Now it was time to get the scientist he asked for from earth hopefully he wasn't crazy like he had been told by the ISA.
As MacKay entered the gate room that is when he saw them this motley group of people and him Dr. Sheldon Cooper PHD and as pointed out in him numerous emails dr appointed sane person (supposedly his mother had him tested on several occasions). MacKay took a deep breath and walked forward hand outstretched.